MorningStar

Well her parents are idiots for letting their daughter "date" a 30-year-old man! What on earth are they thinking?! Doesn't matter if they were OK with it. He broke the law.

I don't know if it's a sin, but I have a dear relative who suffers from this and the reason she does it is because she doesn't want to hurt someone else. When she was little, she scratched a sibling and got in trouble for it, so she started scratching herself when she got frustrated, which she got spanked for. So she started hurting herself in areas no one would see it. The family would laugh about the odd thing she used to do when she was little, having no idea that it never ended. It only got worse after the birth of her babies, due to sleep deprivation. Her husband didn't understand it and would give her the silent treatment for days. "Why can't you just stop doing it?" She finally told the family and let us know she needed help. She started counseling too. These are some traits she has: She has high expectations of herself, she's a perfectionist, high strung, etc. I think when things don't go according to plan, she is about ready to explode. A friend of mine has a similar personality and it took three or four children for her to realize she had to lower her expectations a lot, because that's typically where anger comes from. No one would ever guess this because she always looks put together, is really funny, seems like the perfect mom, etc. You just never know what people are going through. Prayers for you and I hope you will be able to find a great counselor to help you through this!

These are great! Keep them coming.

What are the most meaningful Christmas gifts you have ever received? I'm looking for ideas. :)

That's what masturbating married people would like to think.

I think the church is trying to avoid a nauseating list of things couples shouldn't do and people are taking advantage of the "behind closed doors" comment, but that doesn't mean they won't be held accountable for activities that offend the Lord.

Yeah, but I think husband and wife are supposed to be behind the same closed door, not separate doors in separate states watching other couples doing things behind closed doors.

If companies increase pay though, they also increase prices, making living expenses unaffordable still. I don't think living paycheck to paycheck is an attack on family values. I believe a lot of people aren't willing to make sacrifices anymore. These two income famillies living paycheck to paycheck are often buying the latest gadgets, they have cable, they have smart phones (with expensive monthly plans), their kids are enrolled in multiple sports, music lessons, houses that are larger than what they need, etc. I know people who make 6 figures and "can't" save money because it's always gone. Rather than paying themselves first and forcing themselves not to buy items they don't really need, they decide whatever is leftover will go in savings. This rarely works. So while this family was putting nothing in savings, we were getting out of debt and putting a little in savings while making about $30,000 a year. we didn't have cable or cell phones, we cooked from scratch, and we only bought luxury items for Christmas or birthdays. If our son asked for something, we would tell him it would be a great thing to put on his wish list. Our relatives who "couldn't" save money went to the movies often, bought lots of unnecessary items, and what they did have was treated as, "Eh, it's just $5." so the kids would trash stuff and then they had to replace it.

That's not keeping the flame alive. That just sounds like an excuse not to have self-control. My husband and I were apart for months while we were newlyweds. We stayed busy and we wrote love letters to each other, not with the intent of arousing because the goal was for both of us to remain chaste during that time. I've never read anything from the church that suggests married people have the green light to masturbate when they are apart. We are expected to have self-control before, during, and after marriage. Also, there's nothing "tasteful" about watching other people have sex (or pretend to have sex).

Congratulations!

We have food assignments and are going to my mom's. I'm making cranberry sauce, stuffing, and maybe green bean casserole too.

You can eat turkey and feel sorry for yourself at the same time, especially if the turkey is really dry.

I tried it years ago when I had dial-up and I could hardly keep up with the plethora of e-mails. I liked the philosophy of just starting where you are, but I was a little overwhelmed by the messages. Maybe I'll give it another try. :)

What I got from this is that if a man opens a door for me, I should sit down on the ground iimmediately. I think that's a good idea.

That's horrible. It's like a permanent pen version of the dunce cap.

I don't know. Why is Def Leppard in our hymnal?

When we were newlyweds and very poor, my husband went a week without eating lunch so he could spoil me on Valentine's Day. I spent the day at my mom's house making heart shaped sugar cookies to look like those heart candies (with custom messages) and he brought me a little box of chocolates with some small flowers. I was thrilled just to have those. When we got home later, there was a huge bouquet of roses and a double decker box of chocolates. He also arranged for there to be flowers for me at his parents' house for our one week anniversary when we traveled down there for our open house.

Unfortunately, too many guys believe their wives will leave them if they tell, but they're really sabotaging themselves by not telling. She will think things are much worse than they are. Others aren't ready to tell because they don't want to give up the habit. They know there will be a lot more obstacles if there is accountability to someone. Darn porn to heck.

She thinks her interview went great! Woo hoo!!!! Now hopefully she'll have the other two interviews.

I don't think a lot of guys understand how much better it would go for them if they tearfully told their wives they had a problem. If the wife finds it and wants to gouge her eyes out/scrub her brain with Comet, she's going to be angry on many more levels. I talked to a woman online who's three-year-old found a print out her husband hid under the bed and wandered over to her with it. You're just not going to think, "Aw, poor guy has a problem!" No, you're gonna go mama bear on him. It's much easier not to have to see that stuff yourself or think that your children are at risk of seeing it. One of my guy friends from high school found his dad's collection and he told him, "Don't tell your mom about the pretty ladies." He lost a lot of respect for him that day.

I think it's easier on the spouse when the person with the porn problem confesses on their own, showing remorse, and asking for help. Finding the evidence is a horrible shock.

I was friends with some single guys in Provo and when I saw they had the Victoria's Secret Catalog, I was merciless. I said, "You know one of them is a transvestite, don't you?" "WHAT?" "You didn't hear that? It's that guy right there. No, definitely that guy. You were lusting after a dude." I thoroughly ruined the catalog for them.

A friend said she knew someone who answered "shoes" when asked what her greatest weakness was and she got the job. I could see humor winning, but then you might be unlucky and interview with someone without a sense of humor.''

My dear friend has been underemployed since 2007 and is having a pretty terrible time, but she has a job interview today. She interviewed for one position with this company and didn't get the job, but then they sent her an email asking her to apply for 20 more positions or so. She has a phone interview this afternoon and hopefully a face to face interview after that. She says she does well with questions about the job itself, but when they start asking, "What's your greatest weakness?" and that sort of thing, she doesn't feel like she does very well. What are the most difficult questions you have been asked and how did you successfully answer them? Last night we read some sample questions and it asked, "What don't you like about yourself?" Really, what are they going for here? She said she likes herself just fine, except she doesn't like her lisp. Kind of silly to tell them that, but she doesn't know what to say if that comes up. If you say you don't dislike anything about yourself, then won't they think you're either full of yourself or lying? I'm glad I don't have to go through this.

I don't think you're advocating porn, but I also think it's unrealistic to think that you can just educate women into thinking it isn't that big of a deal and take their emotions out of the equation. That's usually a woman's nature. Women get mad at men even when their heads turn to look at a woman walking down the street. There just isn't going to be a calm reaction when a woman finds out her LDS husband is living a double life and lied to her face about it.