BadWolf

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  1. ^^^^^ This. Big time. It wasnt the acts themselves... It was how you still felt about them. Take the year. Regain your confidence. Get to know how rock strong forgiveness & 2nd chances can really make you. Im a convert. And lets just say my interview had to get kicked upstairs a few levels You know what sealed not only my baptism, but my very active involvement in the church following? 3 people. "My" 2 missionaries... One of whom had a misspent youth (as I did), one who'd been to war (as I have), and a sister in my ward (in the RSP) who had gone through a year of counseling with her leaders for having some serious sexual transgressions in college. I know about their pasts... Because they had learned from them & were totally at peace with them. So when a pretty typical investigator with a laundry list of "I'll never fit in / trust me, church is not the place for me wild years ... They can just laugh and share their own stories. You have a choice. You can be ashamed of your past. You can repeat your past. You can learn from your past, and be made stronger by it. The choice is yours. ______________________ " It's empty in the valley of your heart The sun, it rises slowly as you walk Away from all the fears And all the faults you've left behind And I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again" - Mumford & Sons
  2. Oh my stars. 80s splatter paint & pants that must be worn with other pants were in fierce competition... ... Right up until Mikbone lobbed the Presbyopia Grenade. My brain actually hurts looking at some of those. Its like Julie Andrews went to a hospital for the criminally insane & stole their drapes!
  3. THINK before you speak. Is it: True Honest Inspired Necessary Kind
  4. :)Its honestly the 'versus' which concerns me the most. Religion v Science... We lost hundreds, if not thousands, of years & untold lives & innovation due to this opposition. True still today. While many of the great scientists I have known are deeply religious, there's STILL this grinding. We lose great scientific minds who don't go into science because of this supposed contention, and we lose great moral hearts and foundations who feel they have to leave religion to be people of science. Religion versus Equality... I fear... Both has & will continue to have similar affect. I just wish (in my happy utopian fantasy between my ears) that religion would stay out of politics. And, conversely, that Politics (government) would stay out of religion. Although I do admire the Vatican's Intelligence Service (arguably the best in the world). Sigh. So even my utopian make believe world has hypocrisy in it. I can see why they don't myob... I simply wish they would. I cannot think of a single time when mixing religion & politics had led to good, instead of evil, when a church (or mosque, etc.) has succeeded in forcing its doctrine upon the populace at large instead of remaining self selecting.
  5. Im on the other side of this argument. While I may agree completely that whether its Elvis or Furries, pelvic thrusts are questionable dance moves... That a school would deny children's right to an education for being bad dancers is flat out wrong. ESPECIALLY if said school has cheerleaders, a dance team, allows filming of any kind on campus, etc. This isn't about how tasteful their dancing was... Its about children being suspended for dancing & filming it. Bullying others? Sure. Bad dancing? Heck no.
  6. You know... That phrase had always rubbed my fur the wrong way... BUT in thinking about it inside out: A queen (or king) IS NOT A - Servant - Slave - Nanny - Cook - Prostitute - Secretary - PA - Personal chef - Punching Bag - Dime a dozen - Your employee (or anyone you "oversee") - Paycheck (the power of the purse lies elsewhere) - etc. A queen (or king) SHALL NOT BE - Disrespected - Lied to - Trifled with - Taken for granted - Put needlessly in harms way - Ignored - Dismissed - Spoken poorly of - Betrayed - Easily replaced - etc. All parallels break down eventually... But I have to admit, the phrase is growing on me.
  7. < laughing > Yes. Gradschool + Fulltime work + baby = exceptionally different than Undergrad + baby OR Full time work + baby ((Or heck, even undergrad + Fulltime work + baby)) I was talking about STARTING school (or at least being an undergrad, instead of returning to work. Not working Fulltime (or even part time), much less adding working on one's masters or doctorate. A huge number of women ARE completely dependent on their husbands because they have NO education. Believing that they cannot even start until the kids are either grown, or the youngest in school full time. So the best they can manage are min wage jobs, that they can't start until their youngest is in school full time (daycare costs more than they'd make). So their lives are "on hold" for a solid 5-15 years "for" their families. Which, I was given to understand was your major fear in your daughter going on mission? That she'd get married / have children / not go to school / be entirely dependent on her husband. Whose income potential, of course, would be continuing to rise for those 5-15 years, while hers stayed stagnant & static. I may not be able to give you HappyMissionStory (I hope lots do, though! i love listening to them in Relief Society) to help allay your fears, but as far as getting ones education vs working (done both) with wee ones... I can say hands down that 1) being in school with small children is infinitely easier than working full time with small children. 2) Your fear of her being unable to go to school while raising a family is only one choice. She may make that choice, and it may be the most commonly held choice, but its far from her only option. She could do as I did, or even as you did (I can't wrap my head around your choice, easily, though. I had 10 hours a week JUST being an undergrad. You had probably double that PLUS working full time.). Or she could do one of several other things (including the common - 20s= school & gradschool & casual dating, - 30s = career & serious dating, - 40's = marriage & starting family. Which is what most of my peers outside the church do. Back in Seattle, I have a good friend in Hosp Admin. At least in that city roughly 2/3s of first time moms are in their 40s. Which follows the same trending I see in professional women. Although I don't know if that's micro/macro/cohort/etc.). Of course, being in school with small children is harder than being in school single & childless, just not as hard as working full time with small children! If I misunderstand your fear... Not that she'd not go to school (which I had hoped to help allay), but that she'd have to work as hard as you did, I apologize.
  8. Just to address one of your fears... I was not LDS. I joined the military out of highschool. I got married /had my son at 22 I started college when my son was 2 months old. I REALLY wish people thought babies & school weren't mutually exclusive. It does a great disservice to so many!!! Full time work w baby = 50+ hours of childcare per week Vs. College w baby = - 10+ hours of childcare per week - Childcare subsidies by the university - Student Family Housing - Flexible schedule (can email professor & stay home to deal with not just illness, but tantrums, special events, etc.) - Flexible schedule (most work done at home, and can be done during naps & after bedtime) - Great community (not only are there Married Family Student groups THROUGH the church, but also your fellow secular students -that you share housing with-, your professors with young families oft include undergrad parents with their grad student functions = amaaaaazing networking, etc.) - et cetera. And there are a LOT of perks & bonuses in this et cetera list. Being a Full time student when my son was little was the BEST of "both worlds". I got to be a full time stay at home mom, while also working (keeping my mind active & engaged, bringing in over 25k in aid, not counting childcare & housing subsidies, nor 2k per month saved in not needing 50 hours of childcare per week). All while advancing my income potential & degree path. Best of both worlds. If Id known what an amaaaaazing fit raising a young family while being in college is, I would have planned to do it that way, instead of just lucking into it. _____ To be clear, Im not saying that if your daughter goes on Mission, she'll be married & have a baby before getting her degrees. LOL, I wasn't even a member when I did! What I am saying is that baby + college not only are not mutually exclusive... I don't think there's a better job out there for new parents. I realize not everyone can be lucky enough to have the timing work out so that they're starting their families while in school, though.
  9. That's a hard place to be in. But, at least in my experience, a good one. For when we stop taking other people's word as gospel, we find our own truths. Its that perpetual act of growing up. Whether as a person, no longer taking out parents word, but needing to experience for ourselves... As a scholar, no longer taking an author at face value but conducting our own critical reasoning & research... As an employee, shifting from learning the job to knowing the job... Or in matters of religion, needing to form pur own relationship with God...Its a hard transition. Its comfortable, bèing able to rely on others who know best. But, hopefully, a good one... As we becomes the ones who know best, ourselves. All my best, BW
  10. I think keeping the Sabbath Holy means different things to different people. Long before I converted, the LDS family across the street had a daughter I competed with. On Sundays, if there was a meet or an event, her WHOLE family came to it (not small) & cheered her on. Their attitude was "We spend Sundays as a family." Sometimes, if we were competing out of town, her dad & brothers would hold a sacrement up in their hotel room. Other times, we'd head straight from practice to (what Ive later come to learn) FHE. I loooooved Mondays at her house. We made it right in time for Sundaes & boardgames. Sometimes we'd be eating dinner with one hand, dessert with the other, and moving our game piece with our elbows. I don't know if their family paradigm is what's "normal" in the church, or if yours is... But Im personally using theirs with my own family: Bring God along, not be missing out because of God. I could be wrong in what Im doing. But I wouldn't trade having dawn prayers over the snowfields with my son in the mountains this winter, for anything. Not the boyscout camping trips. Nor so many other things that happen on Sundays. Be ause for ME, what makes Sundays holy isn't being inside 4 walls. Its being with my family, and sacrement or not (I envy my friends who have the priesthood in their families, who can perform ordinances wherever they may be), deliberately bringing God along with us.
  11. MoE.... This might just be one of my favorite things of all time. Fair warning; Im officially co-opting it. As it takes my (50 words where 1 would suffice) explanation & shortens it to "Don't have to surprise God". B)
  12. If I'd only seen this I wouldn't have been caught flat footed with the "wear pants to church day"... When Id been wearing pants for a year. Drats! Foiled again. Great video! ETA.... Aaaaaaaaand that's another date-check-fail on my part. I need to start keeping a tally somewhere. (Im still not sure if this morning was 1-5 or 5-1. You know what they say: If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic. Still a great video!
  13. I know I won't "win" with these suckers... But boy oh boy do I have some ugly pants on. They "pooch" / "tent" in the front. They sag in the rear The waist keeps slipping down (too big) until the waist is too small (for me hips) creating a muffin top. < rolls eyes > When "too big" looks too small. Ugh. They stretch in awkward ways (ballooning over the skinny part of my legs, but not stretching over areas that could use a little, ahem, stretch). I couldn't remember why I never wear these capris. They fit FINE this morning. An hour later at work.... Hullo Dowdy. Ick. I remember, I remember! What I don't remember is why I haven't sent them to the bin. I feel so pretty! ___________ Ugly Pants Contest. You must own them. Or have owned them. Or heck, even borrowed the natural disaster you then cloaked yourself with. And have worn them. Or seen them worn (My mum's gold stretch velvet pants from the 70s are always high placers in this contest, but often lose out to checks, or zebra print Hammer Pants). Bonus points if said monstrocitirs were then at some point used in a school drama production. That's it. 2 rules we shan't really adhere to anyway. Who has entries? BW