LanPingPug Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Neither my boyfriend or I have been to church for quite a while. He is an Anglican (Church of England) and I would have called myself Pentecostal. Even though we both know better, we haven't been living a chaste life. Now I have been reading The Book of Mormon and am hoping to join the LDS Church, I know that I need to live a chaste life. How can I explain this to my boyfriend?Also I know I will have to give up alcohol. This won't be such a challenge as I rarely drink anyway, but I don't know what my boyfriend will think about that either. Will he think that all the fun is going out of our relationship? Could anyone provide me with scriptures that support my decisions? And has anyone here had any experience of situations similar to this one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Hmm this is a difficult one. I would let your boyfriend know whats invloved in living as a member and get his thoughts on it. I suppose you will have to play it by ear depending on what he says. Dont go rushing into anything tho-just tell him they are the facts, and a possibility, but not yet a reality. How serious are you and your boyfriend? How long have you been together? Do you have a close relationship? The answers to these questions will determine his reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StallionMcBeastly Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 If the only fun your boyfriend sees in your relationship revolves around being "unchaste" and consuming alcohol I think its time to kick him to the curb anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Neither my boyfriend or I have been to church for quite a while. He is an Anglican (Church of England) and I would have called myself Pentecostal. Even though we both know better, we haven't been living a chaste life. Now I have been reading The Book of Mormon and am hoping to join the LDS Church, I know that I need to live a chaste life. How can I explain this to my boyfriend?Also I know I will have to give up alcohol. This won't be such a challenge as I rarely drink anyway, but I don't know what my boyfriend will think about that either. Will he think that all the fun is going out of our relationship? Could anyone provide me with scriptures that support my decisions? And has anyone here had any experience of situations similar to this one?You note that the word LOVE and LUST both have four letters in it. For men, we have a different view outset on both terms than women. What I am going to say, is standing here as a man. Now, if your boyfriend truly, I mean truly loves you, then he will comply to what you will present to him. Love is giving and bending for one and another. If not, then it is lust. This is not true love for another but to satisfied ones own desires. It becomes a 'conquest' and not true love. True love there is no lust or conquest. I would first offer a sincere and humble prayer to the FATHER in asking for supporting hand prior to approaching your boyfriend. Not only softening his heart but to provide the Spirit of Understanding to him. I wish the best for you either way. I will leave this message, "Many are called [from the world] but a few are chosen [savior choses His own from the many].":D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanPingPug Posted May 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Hmm this is a difficult one. I would let your boyfriend know whats invloved in living as a member and get his thoughts on it. I suppose you will have to play it by ear depending on what he says. Dont go rushing into anything tho-just tell him they are the facts, and a possibility, but not yet a reality. How serious are you and your boyfriend? How long have you been together? Do you have a close relationship? The answers to these questions will determine his reaction.We've been together for nearly 2 years now and are very serious. Next year he is hoping to get his own place and I would go to see him during the week. He lives about 2 hours away from me and I travel on the train as I don't drive. We are very close and enjoy going out together as well as staying in and watching DVDs/playing video games. We have never attended a church together as we are from denominations that are quite different. I was a Pentecostal and he is an Anglican (Church of England.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Why not attend each other churches? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanPingPug Posted May 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Why not attend each other churches?I am hoping that as I start to attend my local LDS chapel, he will come with me occasionally as he said he would. I find the Anglican theology too liberal. They now even have homosexual priests! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 I can understand your reasoning but going with him may open some doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanPingPug Posted May 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 I just spoke with my boyfriend on messenger and he told me to NEVER mention the LDS or my faith ever again. He quoted an anti-mormon website and hung up the phone when I tried to call him. I can't believe he has changed his mind so quickly! I can't stop crying. Help please... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 See my prior posting: "I would first offer a sincere and humble prayer to the FATHER in asking for supporting hand prior to approaching your boyfriend. Not only softening his heart but to provide the Spirit of Understanding to him." Did you do this prior to calling him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 I have to go...but I see others are here to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pushka Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Eeek, I'm very sorry to hear of your boyfriend's reaction to your interest in the LDS church now. I don't have very good advice, unfortunately, but I can empathise with you over this matter as I was placed in the same position with my boyfriend when I was 18 and old enough to join the church without my parents' permission. Unfortunately I wasn't strong enough to stop having relations with my boyfriend and stopped attending the church instead. I did mention to him that I would stop having relations with him once I was Baptised and that is when he told me what a hypocrite I was, sleeping with him while still attending church...he was quite persuasive in his argument, also saying that if we ever got married he wouldn't allow our children to go to the LDS church...we did get married, 6 1/2 years later, had 2 children, then divorced 11 years after that...oh well, here I am back at church now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissar Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 I will keep you in my prayers. I do not have any advice really except to pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 I'm sorry I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, other than what's already been stated. Pray. Pray for wisdom in communicating with your boyfriend, for knowledge of the truths you are trying to embrace, and for courage to make the very difficult choices it looks like you may be facing. I'll keep you in my prayers as well. *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bookmeister Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 The only thing I can tell you is that it's gonna hurt, and hurt big, for what will seem like a long time...BUT (and this is important) you will get better, I promise. and for what it's worth, the Lord never closes a door without opening another one. You'll be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 It seems to me that he has shown you his true colors. Slamming the phone down on you, oh my, that isn't what some one does when they love another. Even if they disagree on things. You don't force others to believe in what you belive in. You don't guilt them into it either. That is what he is doing. Time to find a MAN that will love you and not use you. Who will help you to make your own choices and stand there with you. Whether he agrees with you or not. Now that you are unencumbered, you have the freedom to fully investigate the church. Do so, and stay close to God. When your heart is heavy, turn to Christ. When you are lonely, turn to Christ. When you are happy, turn to Christ and thank Him. My prayers are with you- Iggy:bighug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztodd Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 We're all here praying for you. Turn to God. Turn completely to Him, He will comfort you and lead and guide you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiona84 Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I'm sorry to hear he changed his mind so quickly! It's so true that Satan works his hardest to pull us away when we are on our way to the truth.... I would give him a little bit of time to cool down, then I would try to allay his fears a bit. He has obviously done some 'investigating' of his own and ended up at an anti-mormon website. Much of what he has read or heard on there will be anti-mormon propoganda, a twist on on the teachings, and 'snippets' of quotes by leaders or of doctrine not in their full contnet....I know all this as I have read anti-mormon literature. It is done in a spirit of fear and no doubt had placed fear in your boyfriend. Perhaps you could make the point to him that if he is going to make a judgement, he should hear both sides of the story. Direct him to mormon.org, or lds.org, or even this website if he has questions. Maybe he can speak with some missionaries about exactly what his issues with the church are. If he cares about you, he will want you to be happy, and if the church is what makes you happy, he should be accepting of that. And if he is concerned for you regarding the church, he should allow you the opportunity to present your side of the story, and as I said above, hear the LDS perspective of whatever anti LDS information he has been fed. The church is true, and this is why Satan tries his darndest to keep us from finding its truth. We just have to turn to God and know that He is the stronger one and if we go with faith he will direct our paths. Its definitely not always easy.....good luck to you and your boyfriend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanPingPug Posted May 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Thank you all for your advice and prayers, I really do appreciate them. However, I should tell you (Iggy, listen to this) that I have no intention of splitting up with my boyfriend. It's very easy for people to say that we should part company but they don't know how close we are and how he has helped me in the 2 years I have known him. I have, in the past, tried to find the church that God wanted me to be in. This search led me to many different denominations, including some that are not mainstream. I think my boyfriend is just a little worried that I seem to make a habit of investigating groups that are, in some people's view, cults. I know that the LDS Church is not a cult by any means, but it is a faith that is not so widespread here in the UK and as such, many people don't know anything about it. I didn't know much about it, even though there is a chapel in the next village. (When I told my mother, she thought that it was the LDS Church that banned blood transfusions, whereas we all know it is the Jehovah's Witnesses!) I hope that, in time, as my boyfriend sees that the LDS Church is making me happy and bringing me closer to God, he will accept that it is my choice as to which church I belong to, and that he will respect that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adie_vale Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Thank you all for your advice and prayers, I really do appreciate them. However, I should tell you (Iggy, listen to this) that I have no intention of splitting up with my boyfriend. It's very easy for people to say that we should part company but they don't know how close we are and how he has helped me in the 2 years I have known him. I have, in the past, tried to find the church that God wanted me to be in. This search led me to many different denominations, including some that are not mainstream. I think my boyfriend is just a little worried that I seem to make a habit of investigating groups that are, in some people's view, cults. I know that the LDS Church is not a cult by any means, but it is a faith that is not so widespread here in the UK and as such, many people don't know anything about it. I didn't know much about it, even though there is a chapel in the next village. (When I told my mother, she thought that it was the LDS Church that banned blood transfusions, whereas we all know it is the Jehovah's Witnesses!)I hope that, in time, as my boyfriend sees that the LDS Church is making me happy and bringing me closer to God, he will accept that it is my choice as to which church I belong to, and that he will respect that. Hi, i have been having a simler problem myslef, not with a gf though with my parents well my mum, she seems dead against it atm so i am cuurently having lessons, and have chose the lds as my faith. I will probabley have to move out though before i can get baptised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Lan, faith and hope comes by bent knee prayers with sincerety and humbelness....you have no hope unless there is a support from those across the veil that prepares the soul. Now, 'what if' he doesn't want to join later when you are taking the missionary lessons and the Spirit begins to enlightened your soul? What are you going to do? Who comes first? The Savior or your boyfriend? This maybe a reality and something you have to consider. I pray that you are wise and true, upon which you had already received from the Spirit's prompting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanPingPug Posted May 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Now, 'what if' he doesn't want to join later when you are taking the missionary lessons and the Spirit begins to enlightened your soul? What are you going to do? Who comes first? The Savior or your boyfriend? This maybe a reality and something you have to consider.I don't expect him to join the LDS Church, just as he doesn't expect me to join the Anglican church. I wouldn't force my own beliefs onto him or onto anybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YellowLight Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I don't expect him to join the LDS Church, just as he doesn't expect me to join the Anglican church. I wouldn't force my own beliefs onto him or onto anybody.Know this, members will look at you and wonder how you could marry someone that you will not be sealed to. Having a relationship with different religions is possible with respect for each other and their individual beliefs. All I am saying is that it will be difficult as you may be seen as a second class citizen, maybe not. I have seen this first hand and it isn't the church's fault but that of the members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hey there YellowLight! Good to see you back. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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