Hypocrisy or Pure Humbleness?

[bubbleboy_619]

Hello everyone. I am the type of person who likes to question, examine, and analyze things. So, I have an interesting question that I would like other opinions, thoughts, and perspectives to answer.

Here it goes:

Is there a such thing as positive hypocrisy? Here's the perfect example to explain what I mean:

So there are three people (Person A, Person B, Person C). Person A offers Person B a ride to a desired destination that is out of Person A's way. Person B offers Person A gas money, but Person A refuses out of sincerety and because he was glad to offer his help. A week later, Person A receives a ride from Person C that is also out of Person C's way. Person A offers gas money, in which Person C also refuses for the same reason.

Another question I think about has to do with internal instinct and assumption based on reason (or lack thereof). Is it right to assume that the person giving the ride -- provided the same example as above -- is doing it out of generosity and that they will not accept the money? Or, on the other hand, would it be considered rude not to offer gas money, even when the recipient of the ride knows that the driver will not accept it? On a rare basis, there will be a driver that wants the money; whether it be under reasonable circumstances that is not my judgment.

So, is this hypocrisy or just pure humbleness?

These are questions that I ponder on day to day. I believe that by obtaining other opinions on this concept, I can help myself to better understand others and to better be able to communicate with others.

Has anyone ever thought of this?

[Vort]

No, it's not hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy means putting on a false face. It means pretending to be something good when in fact you are nothing of the sort. Christ called hypocrites "whited sepulcres", beautiful on the outside but full of dead men's bones inside.

A smoker telling his child not to smoke is not a hypocrite. A smoker telling his child to avoid smoking because it's evil, and by the way look and see how heroic Dad is for not smoking, is a hypocrite. Turning down a gratuity that you yourself would offer is not hypocritical in the least.

[BenRaines]

I always make the offer twice out of respect of what the person has given. If they refuse then I let it pass.

If offered to me I decline but if they insist I will take the money to not offend the person offering.

Ben Raines

[pam]

Out of courtesy I always offer money for the transporation provided. Especially at today's gas prices. But I would also decline if offered the money.

[ruthiechan]

It's not hypocrisy. It's not humble either. It's sharing your substance, being generous or kind, giving.

I always make the offer twice out of respect of what the person has given. If they refuse then I let it pass.

If offered to me I decline but if they insist I will take the money to not offend the person offering.

Ben Raines

That is what I do, and when it's turned down I look for an opportunity to do something else for the person helping me out, even if it's simply making an extra loaf of bread just for them.

And insistance to me is when they ask me a third time. So I refuse two times, third time I figure it'll help them feel better for "inconveniencing" me to accept the money.

[Misshalfway]

I think we are all in process.

Somedays we may be generous. Somedays we may not have resources or energy to give. Somedays our inner natural man just plain wins. And sometimes we are heros and may never know it.

Sometimes people offer us service. Sometimes they are offering out of generosity and other times they may have a selfish agenda. And I think generally we can feel the authenticity of a particular offering, but I am not so sure it is important for us to judge whether or not someone is a hypocrite. I have been a hypocrite at one time or another. I have done "good deeds" to get attention....to appear good....and just because it was my duty to do so. I have also learned from all those offerings and at different and more spiritually mature times in my life have given out of my deepest loving parts of myself. Sometimes I have given and my offering was received with gratitude and other times it has been rejected.

I will say it again. We are all human and all flawed and most of us trying day to day to do the right thing. We are all in process. And I think the best thing we can do is accept each other however we may find one another and learn whatever lessons we can from one another and help each other if the opportunity arrises.

[hordak]

No, it's not hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy means putting on a false face. It means pretending to be something good when in fact you are nothing of the sort. Christ called hypocrites "whited sepulcres", beautiful on the outside but full of dead men's bones inside.

A smoker telling his child not to smoke is not a hypocrite. A smoker telling his child to avoid smoking because it's evil, and by the way look and see how heroic Dad is for not smoking, is a hypocrite. Turning down a gratuity that you yourself would offer is not hypocritical in the least.

Depends on the age of the kid. Smoking is a legal issue.No different then telling your kids they can't watch a rated R/PG 13 movie, or stay out till midnight although you might do these things.Not to mention the fact smoking is addictive and as parents we constantly try to help our children make better desisions then we did.Even the "squeaky cleanest" parent does this.

The question is can we be hypocrites? Giving that we all have different situations.My wife and I are trying to teach our children to keep the sabbath day holy but my wife works on Sunday.In our situation is she didn't we would starve so are we being hypocrites?

[bubbleboy_619]

Thanks for all of your responses. Very well appreciated. That's what I love about coming here is to keep my mind open and say, Hey, that's a great point.

So it is safe to look back in history at the adage of Benjamin Franklin when he said that "There never was a bad peace or a good war." Hence, there never was bad generosity or good hypocrisy. I never did know the exact definition of hypocrisy, just assuming that it was always bad.

Yeah, thanks to all for the understanding. Thanks especially to the input of both hordak and Misshalfway.

[Vort]

Depends on the age of the kid. Smoking is a legal issue.

No, it doesn't depend on the age of the kid. If you think smoking is bad but you're addicted to cigarettes, and you tell your son that he shouldn't smoke, you're not being a hypocrite. It makes no difference if your son is 5 years old or 55 years old. On the other hand, if you present yourself as a paragon of smoke-free virtue, you are being a hypocrite. Again, it doesn't matter how old your child is.

The question is can we be hypocrites?

I don't think that's the question, because that question is too obvious. Of course we can be hypocrites. That's why we're warned against it.

Or do you mean, Is it ever acceptable for us to be hypocrites? The answer to that is, of course: No, never. Hypocrisy is evil by definition. We must never be hypocritical.

My wife and I are trying to teach our children to keep the sabbath day holy but my wife works on Sunday.In our situation is she didn't we would starve so are we being hypocrites?

Would you truly starve, or is that mere hyperbole? Assuming you live in the Western world, the odds of you starving if you don't work on Sunday are very low indeed.

I don't know if you are being hypocrites by claiming that keeping Sunday a holy day is important to you while still working for pay on Sunday. That isn't my determination to make, it's yours. But perhaps it isn't even a matter of hypocrisy. Perhaps it's a matter of figuring out what's good and what's best. Remember Elder Oaks' recent General Conference talk about doing what is "best" rather than what is merely "good"? For example: Maybe (and this is a hypothetical) you are justified in working on Sunday, so your Sunday work is a "good" thing. But maybe you would be even more blessed, though perhaps not financially, if you bit the bullet and gave up Sunday work, which would be a "better" thing, maybe even the "best" thing.

[hordak]

Hypocrisy is evil by definition. We must never be hypocritical.

Guess it depends on how you define hypocrisy. While i was addicted to nicotine i constantly told others,friends,brother etc. to not smoke. You could say it was hypocrisy but i think it was pretty good advice from someone with an intament knowledge of the problem.Seemed like a better idea then handing out cigarettes to them.

Would you truly starve, or is that mere hyperbole? Assuming you live in the Western world, the odds of you starving if you don't work on Sunday are very low indeed.

No the first offense would be an Letter of reprimand then an Article 15, then a court martial for failure to follow orders.With a federal conviction on my wifes record it would be hard to find a job, then we would starve.

I don't know if you are being hypocrites by claiming that keeping Sunday a holy day is important to you while still working for pay on Sunday. That isn't my determination to make, it's yours. But perhaps it isn't even a matter of hypocrisy. Perhaps it's a matter of figuring out what's good and what's best. Remember Elder Oaks' recent General Conference talk about doing what is "best" rather than what is merely "good"? For example: Maybe (and this is a hypothetical) you are justified in working on Sunday, so your Sunday work is a "good" thing. But maybe you would be even more blessed, though perhaps not financially, if you bit the bullet and gave up Sunday work, which would be a "better" thing, maybe even the "best" thing.

If doing the best thing was to not work on Sunday my wife would have to drop her military career(shes almost half way to retirement after this enlistment) give up the health care,bah,bas 100% tuition assistance and move my family of 4 into my fathers 2 bedroom house while she works 40 a week as an EMT making half of what we do now and i supplement our income by flipping burgers at the local fast food joint.

Point is that since we all have different needs and situations it's really hard to tell if someone is being a hypocrite and giving advice to help others avoid the traps that we fall in isn't hypocrisy IMO

[WANDERER]

Hypocrisy in that case would be living safely and in peace and in relative religious freedom while not being supportive of the sacrifices that our military forces make.

[Vort]

Guess it depends on how you define hypocrisy.

Using that logic, we can say that "evil" may be bad or may be good, depending on how you define "evil". If we define good as evil, then evil is good.

But of course, that's silly. We use the normal definition of words unless we have reason to use a special definition, and in that case we call out the special definition. "Hypocrisy" has no special definition that makes it good, unless you're just now inventing one. It's always bad.

While i was addicted to nicotine i constantly told others,friends,brother etc. to not smoke. You could say it was hypocrisy

Just curious: Did you even read my previous posts? Because I used this selfsame example, and yet you're calling it out as some sort of demonstration of hypocrisy. I'd re-explain my position, but it's already set out above. If you didn't read it then, you probably won't read it now. If you're interested, go on back and read what I wrote.

No the first offense would be an Letter of reprimand then an Article 15, then a court martial for failure to follow orders.With a federal conviction on my wifes record it would be hard to find a job, then we would starve.

So you think that serving in the military is a violation of the Sabbath? I have never heard such a sentiment before. I think that most people understand that certain needs in this life are not amenable to convenience, and self-defense or defense of one's country is clearly one of those.

Point is that since we all have different needs and situations it's really hard to tell if someone is being a hypocrite

That's true simply by the definition of hypocrisy. If someone puts on a false face, the whole idea is that WE DON'T KNOW IT'S FALSE. That's why it's hypocrisy; they are trying to deceive us. Once the intent to deceive is gone, so is the hypocrisy.

and giving advice to help others avoid the traps that we fall in isn't hypocrisy IMO

True. I suspect everyone already agrees with that.