overcoming fear

[mcdoodle]

I was wondering how I can overcome my fear of meeting with the missionaries (I am an investigator). I am afraid of something, but I don't know what! Every time I think I have the courage to set up discussions, I become paralyzed and hang up. This is embarrassing to me, as my family always stresses being courageous and I am so failing in this regard!

I think I am mostly afraid of a hard sell. I do not know any LDS and have never met anyone LDS (well, anyone that was open about it, anyway). I have no one to ask questions or have to go to church with. I am painfully shy, it is so silly. i also worry about my family: I have a son and am married, but my husband doesn't seem interested in the LDS faith at all, and i am worried i won't be as accepted.

Any advice? I am in Tucson, AZ.

[Misshalfway]

Well, I say change the way you are thinking about it. If you are afraid of the "hard sell", tell your concerns to the missionaries up front and explain the kind of conversations you would rather have. These missionaries are trained and encouraged to be sensitive to the feelings and needs of whomever they may teach. So, I think that your chances are good that they will listen to you and adjust the lessons to your preferences. They are however young and may make mistakes. Perhaps cutting them some slack may help, as will making friends with them and starting any conversation with food and light conversation and perhaps a joke or two about the one Elders tie.

With regards to your concern about being shy and having no one to go to church with, I will say this. The missionaries know the members in the area. They may be able to introduce you to someone or maybe even a few of the girls in the neighborhood. And then you will have someone to travel with or sit with in a meeting or an activity. Just think of it as an opportunity to meet new friends, even if nothing comes of your investigations.

And then with regards to your H and his apparent disinterest. Perhaps some communication could help here. Maybe he needs to understand more about your spiritual needs and desires. Perhaps he could be persuaded to at least support your efforts to find answers to your questions. Maybe he would be afraid of similar things... like what if you did get baptized? Would you still accept him? Or maybe he would be concerned about what you would then expect of him. I think talking about it ....and then allowing time to process and allowing objections to be discussed and time to consider solutions can help too.

Edited August 9, 2008 by Misshalfway

[Islander]

I was wondering how I can overcome my fear of meeting with the missionaries (I am an investigator). I am afraid of something, but I don't know what! Every time I think I have the courage to set up discussions, I become paralyzed and hang up. This is embarrassing to me, as my family always stresses being courageous and I am so failing in this regard!

I think I am mostly afraid of a hard sell. I do not know any LDS and have never met anyone LDS (well, anyone that was open about it, anyway). I have no one to ask questions or have to go to church with. I am painfully shy, it is so silly. i also worry about my family: I have a son and am married, but my husband doesn't seem interested in the LDS faith at all, and i am worried i won't be as accepted.

Any advice? I am in Tucson, AZ.

Well, you HAVE met lots of LDS people. Right here in the forum!!!

Some apprehension is normal for some people. It is a brand new experience, you are not sure what to expect or it may be your personality to be timid. Whatever the reason, I guess you feel what you feel but don't let that keep you from reaching out to the missionaries. I am not sure how old you are but they are quite young themselves and if they are "green" (new in the mission field) even more apprehensive than you are.

Just go and don't over-analyze the situation much. It will be a friendly encounter since they are also anticipating meeting and getting to know you. Beyond that, you are likely to have met other LDS people without even knowing it.

Keep us posted!!

[MichaelPAGuy]

If you are afraid of talking to the missionaries on the phone you can go to mormon.org and request to meet with the missionaries over the internet. Just click on the ask a question link and then have missionaries contact me. Then fill out the rest of the info and missionaries will contact you within a few days.

[StrawberryFields]

I think it can be all about networking. Ask people around you if they know anyone LDS. I think you really need to form a friendship with someone first and I believe that there are many members where you live.

I agree keep coming here and posting you may just find someone in your town here.

[Mykdiver]

You could also ask them to either bring with them some regular members or just have some member missionaries visit. I would find that helpfull having another convert to the Church come by. Then you can discuss some of the questions that you have that they probably had also and they can explain to you what they learned.

This approach can be a very powerfull tool, a lot of recent converts while not as knowledgable in the Scriptures have very strong testimonies about the truthfullness of the Church.

[avatar4321]

You could always have a friend set things up. Then you won't have to be afraid to start things.

[mcdoodle]

I wanted to thank you all for your great advice. I've emailed the missionaries and we'll see where I go! It's pretty exciting!

[Guest bren1975]

Hi mcdoodle. Please keep us posted on how it goes. (It might be helpful to remember that many of the missionaries are more afraid of you than you are of them.)

Ask God for courage. He'll give it to you. Let us help, if needed.

[candyprpl]

I wanted to thank you all for your great advice. I've emailed the missionaries and we'll see where I go! It's pretty exciting!

Congratulations for taking that scary step. It is exciting! I hope your husband will listen to the lessons also. The missionaries are great!! They, and we, are not about a 'hard sell.' We only hope and pray that you will open your heart and mind to the message. The only one that can convert you is the Holy Ghost.

I've always had a hard time making friends -- I have kind of a lengthy story behind my fears. Anyway.....I've never felt more loved or appreciated in my life! I still have a hard time with the social aspects of the Church but I feel more comfortable with these people than anywhere else. I live in Silver City, NM which is about 3 hrs from Tucson. I know that there are a lot of LDS in your area. Have you ever seen the Mesa Temple? It's so beautiful! We live in the same mssion area and I've met the Mission President -- he's wonderful and the missionaries that come to Silver have started in Tucson.

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ to be true and that it has been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I know the Book of Mormon to be another testament of Jesus Christ and goes hand in hand with the Bible. My life is now full because of the atonement and it's my priviledge to leave this testimony with you.

Do keep us posted, please!

[Mykdiver]

While the Missionaries may be a hard sell, they are great guys. I have really liked all the ones I have worked with and around.

[sister_sherrell]

As new converts, (July 7 '07, myself) it seems as if we are behind. Nothing can be farther from the truth. My Bishop told me that if we all had, say, (just picking a number out of the hat), 18 things to learn to be with our Father and one person had learned 16 of them, he might still have so much more work to do than the one who had only learned 3, but only needed 3. As you start meeting with the Elder's, you might find yourself so eager to learn after the 1st meeting or two that you no longer have room to be afraid. If you go to a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, to visit, you will find so much love that you may not care that you were afraid. If you are still afraid, that's okay too. We each find the Truth in our own way. The path that you are beginning to walk down is so rewarding in a way that will satisfy your needs, that you will probably love the Elders that loved you enough to come to you to share the joy that they have learned, so much that you will remember them all of your life. If you ask GOD in prayer what to do, if it is the same for you as it was for me, you will know that even through the fear, an answer will come. My home has become a place that love abounds so much more that ever before and my husband is a professed atheist. The Father is teaching him too. My love to you and yours. Great joy and a labor of great love await you.

[jolee65]

I have had missionaries in my house with friends that were not members of the church and they would ask the missionaries questions but I didnt see a hard sell even then, we had missionaries over before christmas meeting with my daughters boyfriend and they could see he didnt know really what to say or what to ask and they just sat back and waited til he did some reading (The Book of Mormon) so he could get more of an understanding of what our beliefs are and then on his 2nd meeting he had a better understanding of the teachings.

I wouldnt be concerned about the missionaries there always polite and are always in need of a good meal and a friendly family to visit with, just make it a visit instead of a disscusion get to know them.

let us know how its going. :)

[jimuk]

Hi There mcdoodle, I am so pleased for you to be investigating the church, it is an exiting time, and i can understand you being afraid, it is a huge step in your life to be making.

Now let me tell you about these Missionaries. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, these guys and girls have the Holy spirit with them and when people take the time, as you will, you will feel this spirit radiating from them sooooo, much, they are truly loving, caring, hard working, and committed in what they do.

From the word go, they felt like part of my family and i welcomed them as such, they laugh and cry like us all, and they will not let you down.

When i first met them i thought they were arrogant young Americans, and over here lol, but they were no arrogant at all they were enjoying life to the full, doing Christs work, they had their down days, being so far away from their loving families, but i could give to them and make them part of my family,

In the end i was as proud of these guys as i would be of my own children.

Dear Heavenly father please watch over the Missionaries, bless them and watch over them, keep them strong and safe, comfort them whilst they are away from their families.

Father i say these things to you in the name of Your son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

[sister_sherrell]

Below is an email sent to me and mine in return, just last night, thank you.

About your easy chair, I just sent you and others an e-mail I received from my sister Michelle. She is an amazing woman and knows how to write. It is about preparedness and I hope you enjoy it, I did. Talk to you soon.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IT IS AN EXCELLENT LITTLE WRITING...WELL WORTH READING AND SHARING:

Please feel free to pass this along to everyone you know!!

In our meetings at the end of 2008 we had a discussion on the second coming. I took part in a lesson in Relief Society. In that lesson we talked about many things, one of which was that we are waiting for the prophecies of Joel to be fulfilled wherein the sun would be darkened and the moon turned to blood. We discussed what that might look like when it happens. I wasn’t sure, but I thought that I had learned something regarding that several years ago, so I went home and found President Hinckley’s talk entitled “Living in the Fullness of Times” which said that this prophecy, along with the prophecy of Malachi, has been fulfilled. Shortly after 9/11, President Hinckley said, “The vision of Joel has been fulfilled wherein he declared, “And I will shew wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the Lord come… ”(Joel 2:28–32).”

I wonder if the twin towers were the pillars of smoke spoken of in Joel’s prophecy, or whether the Gulf War may have fulfilled these or other prophecies...I do not know. However, knowing that the signs mentioned in the Prophecies of Joel were fulfilled at least seven years ago, makes me wonder where we are in time and how much longer we will have in order to prepare for the further signs prophesied by His prophets.

Elder Eyring in conference in 1998 and again in the January 2009, Ensign said, “Because the Lord is kind, He calls servants to warn people of danger. That call to warn is made harder and more important by the fact that the warnings of most worth are about dangers that people don’t yet think are real…Here is the charge given to each of the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: “Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor…It’s easy to say, “The time isn’t right.” But there is danger in procrastination.” (D&C 88:81)

In that spirit, I would like to share with you (my neighbors) that I know that we are living in the fullness of times and that the Lord has “lovingly commanded us to prepare every needful thing.” (D&C 109)

Although we are told that we are in the times “when men’s hearts shall fail them,” I do not wish to cause fear with my remarks. I know that we can find comfort and hope for these times in the temple. Vaughn J. Featherstone said, “Before the Savior comes the world will darken. Then will come a period of time where even the elect will lose hope if they do not come to the temples…”

“Our garments worn as instructed will clothe us in a manner as protective as temple walls. The covenants and ordinances will fill us with faith as a living fire. In a day of desolating sickness, scorched earth, barren wastes, sickening plagues, disease, destruction, and death, we as a people will rest in the shade of trees, we will drink from the cooling fountains. We will abide in places of refuge from the storm…"

Pres. Kimball in his book, "The Miracle of Forgiveness" wrote, “Do we lose faith, do we lose patience, do we lose hope, do we get weary in waiting, because the day is long and the event delayed? It is difficult to be prepared for an event so long delayed. Many have found it too difficult and they slumber without due preparation. Hundreds of thousands of us today are in this position. Confidence has been dulled and patience worn thin. It is so hard to wait and be prepared always. But we cannot allow ourselves to slumber.”

“I believe that the Ten Virgins represent the people of the Church of Jesus Christ and not the rank and file of the world. All of the virgins, wise and foolish, had accepted the invitation to the wedding supper; they had knowledge of the program and had been warned of the important day to come. They were not the gentiles or the heathens or the pagans, nor were they necessarily corrupt and reprobate, but they were knowing people who were foolishly unprepared for the vital happenings that were to affect their eternal lives. They had the saving, exalting gospel, but it had not been made the center of their lives. They knew the way but gave only a small measure of loyalty and devotion. I ask you: What value is a car without an engine, a cup without water, a table without food, a lamp without oil? The foolish asked the others to share their oil, but spiritual and temporal preparedness cannot be shared in an instant. The wise had to go; else the bridegroom would have gone unwelcomed. They needed all their oil for themselves; they could not save the foolish. The responsibility was each for himself. This was not selfishness or unkindness.”

“The foolish virgins were not averse to buying oil. They knew they should have oil. They merely procrastinated, not knowing when the bridegroom would come. The day of the marriage feast approaches. The coming of the Lord is nigh. And there are many among us who are not ready for the great and glorious event.”

Recently I heard a stake president bear his testimony in his ward. He said that the most important message he was bringing back from regional conference was that we must "Get Our Houses in Order." He said that at the regional leadership conference a general authority referenced President Hinckley's talk from ten years ago regarding Pharoah's Dream and the stormy weather ahead, and the need to have our houses in order. Then the apostle asked them how many of the leadership in attendance now wished that they had hearkened to his message? Our various leaders are increasingly referencing this talk regarding Pharoah’s Dream, I believe because it may be prophetic for our day.

The first time President Hinckley mentioned Pharoah’s dream was in 1998 when he said, “I wish to speak to you about temporal matters. As a backdrop for what I wish to say, I read to you a few verses from the 41st chapter of Genesis where Pharaoh, the ruler of Egypt, dreamed dreams which greatly troubled him...‘And I saw in my dream…seven ears came up in one stalk, full and good: And, behold, seven ears, withered, thin, and blasted with the east wind, sprung up after them.’ Then Joseph’s interpretation, ’Behold, there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt: And there shall arise after them seven years of famine. . . And God will shortly bring it to pass.’ (Gen. 41:20, 26, 30, 32). Now, brethren, I want to make it very clear that I am not prophesying, that I am not predicting years of famine in the future. But I am suggesting that the time has come to get our houses in order…There is a portent of stormy weather ahead to which we had better give heed...That’s all I have to say about it, but I wish to say it with all the emphasis of which I am capable.” A portent means something of prophetic or ominous significance. President Hinckley also spoke of the fragile economy, how people are living off of their borrowings instead of earnings and how paying interest is financial bondage. He said that he hoped that there wouldn’t be a depression…twice, but then said he is concerned about all the debt our members are carrying. He talked about how Elder Faust paid off his mortgage quickly, and how happy that has made him.

In last June’s Ensign, President Eyring said, “In our own time we have been warned with counsel on where to find safety...One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated.” President Hinckley has mentioned Pharoah’s dream three times in the past ten years.

If we started counting from 1998 and likened our day to what happened in Joseph's time, we would find ourselves in the fourth of the lean years. It is interesting to note what was happening in Egypt during that time. In Genesis 47:15 it says, “And when money failed in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, all the Egyptians came unto Joseph, and said, Give us bread for why should we die in thy presence? for the money faileth.” As their money failed they then gave the government their remaining assets including their valuables, homes and lands in exchange for food and shelter. Around the end of the fourth year the people were gathered into cities and became slaves to the government.

Even though we had an abundant harvest last year in the US, over the past few years the world has eaten more food than it has produced. The world food reserve became very low and the United States’ food reserve was completely gone for a time. According to the USDA global food projections for 2008 there was only a 2.6 percent margin between production and consumption of food last year. This means that the world food supply is very vulnerable going forward. Also, in 2008 the last of the US government owned grain was sold. The United States Government no longer has a supply of food in case of emergency.

A friend in Northern Utah told me that he was recently called as the ward employment specialist in his ward. When he was called there were two chronically unemployed men in his ward, two weeks later there were 11 families without work. When I went visiting teaching a month or two ago a brother shared that he had just been let go that day, his neighbor said that his small construction company was letting go 11 workers the next day. They also talked about the dwindling state of their 401K funds and how it would no longer sustain them for long.

So what is expected of us? First is to gather a three-month supply of foods that we normally eat. Then we should gather a longer-term supply. What is meant by “longer-term” is left between us and the Lord. Brigham Young encouraged the saints in his time to store seven years worth of provisions, then it progressively declined over the decades to just one year of provisions. This counsel stayed the same for over 70 years. I have read that some Christian denominations plan on storing food to last the whole of the seven years of tribulation. Most in our church would agree that that is “overkill” but we need to be close enough to the spirit to discern how much long-term storage the Lord would have us store for our families and others.

A year's supply of food at the cannery costs $284 (for 12 “starter kits”…The starter kit is a one month supply of food for one person. Each box contains: 2 cans wheat, 2 cans rice, 1 can oatmeal and 1 can of beans.) For a family of six this year supply would have 72 cases and would cost $1,706 dollars.

A lot of people think if the government and church can’t feed their family they can turn to their neighbors for food. This scenario is unlikely because even if your neighbor has a year supply of food on hand, a meal’s ration of food is less than a cup per meal. (2/5 C Beans, 2 cups grains per day.) Since in many wards there are only a few families with such supplies it is unlikely that they will be able to feed their extended family members and their children…let alone their friends, ward members, neighbors, work associates and all of the many other people that say to them, “We know where to come when things get bad.” In other words, if your neighbor feeding you and your children is your plan, you need another plan!

Some people buy fire, flood, theft, disaster, electronic, appliance, home warranty and car insurance every year. Food or as some people call it “famine insurance” may be an important insurance to add to your list. “Famine insurance” or food may not always be easily available. There is a saying that goes something like this, “I would rather prepare five years too early, than five minutes too late.” It only takes hours to clean out grocery store’s shelves when disasters are imminent. Most of us do not live near areas of many orchards, commercial gardens, milk farms, ranches with many thousands of cattle or food crops. Many must travel miles to get to the nearest grocery store. As communities we are very vulnerable if for any reason our food supply was stopped for more than a few days. If you are ready to start preparing it is important to make your cannery appointments now, since at times last year it was very difficult to get an appointment at most LDS canneries and in many areas at times there was little cannery food available to can.

Our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson has said, "Many more people could ride out the storm-tossed waves in their economic lives if they had their year's supply of food…and were debt-free. Today we find that many have followed this counsel in reverse: they have at least a year's supply of debt and are food-free."

In April 2004, Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Four matters are indisputable to Latter-day Saints:

(1) The Savior will return to the earth in power and great glory to reign personally during a millennium of righteousness and peace.

(2) At the time of His coming there will be a destruction of the wicked and a resurrection of the righteous.

(3) No one knows the time of His coming, but

(4) the faithful are taught to study the signs of it and to be prepared for it.” He goes on to say, “We are living in the prophesied time when peace shall be taken from the earth (D&C 1:35), when all things shall be in commotion and men’s hearts shall fail them (D&C 88:91).”

The 1918 flu took one week to spread across the country. With today’s travel it will be a matter of hours. It would be well if we were prepared enough to be able to go directly home when the next pandemic hits. Quarantine conditions will quickly prevent further distribution of food to communities and stores for perhaps months at a time. My grandparents were children when the 1918 pandemic hit. During that pandemic many children including some of my ancestors were sent to live with their grandparents in the country.

This major change in what we should store occurred last year when a new pamphlet entitled, “All Is Safely Gathered In” was distributed. This pamphlet was first talked about by the Presiding Bishopric, then was handed out in February 2007 to the bishop’s to distribute to all the families in their wards, and later was included in the August 2007 Ensign. It would seem that they wanted all of us to read it.

The following letter is from this pamphlet…

Message from the First Presidency

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

Our Heavenly Father created this beautiful earth, with all its abundance, for our benefit and use. His purpose is to provide for our needs as we walk in faith and obedience. He has lovingly commanded us to "prepare every needful thing" (see D&C 109) so that, should adversity come, we may care for ourselves and our neighbors and support bishops as they care for others.

We encourage Church members worldwide to prepare for adversity in life by having a basic supply of food and water and some money in savings.

We ask that you be wise as you store food and water and build your savings. Do not go to extremes; it is not prudent, for example, to go into debt to establish your food storage all at once. With careful planning, you can, over time, establish a home storage supply and a financial reserve.

We realize that some of you may not have financial resources or space for such storage. Some of you may be prohibited by law from storing large amounts of food. We encourage you to store as much as circumstances allow.

May the Lord bless you in your home storage efforts.

Brother and Sisters, the Lord sent us down in this difficult dispensation for a purpose. President Benson told us, “For nearly 6,000 years, God has held you, most of you, in reserve to make your appearance in the final days before the second coming of the Lord.” He also said, “Make no mistake about it, you are a marked generation…There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time than there is of us.” “Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been so well organized”…“The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will finally win. But what remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this battle—and how tall will we stand?”…”While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time: God has saved for the final inning some of His stronger and most valiant children, who will help bear off the kingdom triumphantly. … You are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God”…

I would like to read Bishop McMullin’s promises one last time, “As we do our very best, we can be confident that "the barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail." We shall enjoy greater wisdom, security, peace of mind, and personal well-being. We shall be prepared, and because we are prepared, we "shall not fear.”

The Lord has lovingly commanded us to prepare every needful thing. May the Lord watch over us, direct us, guide us and bless us with His miracles as we do our very best to do so...

This is my reply:

Not knowing how often you visit very large cities my knowledge of what you have seen is quite limited.

If you approach a very large city, esp. on the east coast, from a great distance you can see a large cloud. It is yellow closest to the upper sky and grows orange then grayer as it gets closer to the earth. There is a small space usually between the ground and the darkest part of the cloud. When you are under this cloud in the city and look up at night, the moon is orangish, red. Here in Arlington, when the polution is as a danger point, the moon appears that same color, at night.

If you like and find it appropriate, you may tell you sister that, in my opinion, there is no fear to be found here, only an urging to follow the WORD and my deep Thanks go to her. There is no fear in knowing that HE is in charge and that we will be directed if we listen. It has been said many times that "fear is only a lack of Trust in HIM"

The easy chair she spoke of was about how my studies had dropped off quite a bit after my HT, Brother Van Drimmelen crossed over and how my ease with this fit like a sitting in a big easy chair. Actually seeing and feeling myself gently settle in until 4 and a half months into it my hand settled rather abruptly on the arm and the dust rose. My settling was immediately recognized as exactly that and Brother Van's hand was felt warmly (and literally) on my shoulder. My ease has turned to Peace and is found when my nose is buried deep within my prayers and studies.

My heart felt appreciation to you for your loving thoughts.

Matthew 11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

12 Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?

13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.

14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

15 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.

16 And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding?

17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

18 But those things which proceed out of the amouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

[nzorient]

Meeting with the missionaries was one of the most happiest times in my life. Everytime we finished a lesson, my desire to know the Lord grew and I saw great blessings increasingly flow into my life. Good luck and let us know how it went!!!