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spirettedotter

Online "dating" etiquette

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I'm not even sure how to get in touch with the Single Adults in my area. Do I ask my Bishop about it? Having just recently become a single adult, I guess I should learn these things.

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since we're on the topic of land of many Mormons.. can I ask something that concerns me? I've been accepted both to Texas A&M University and BYU. TAMU has a very solid chemistry program while BYU's charm is that it's in the land of many Mormons... =)I've analyzed the pros and cons and I'm leaning towards TAMU.. should i think twice????

You could have the best of both at the University of Utah.

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I would just stay clear of divorced people in general, (and I am one) especially ones who have minor children (cause dating hurts the children so much) or who have abandoned their spouse,(of course they usually would have another story) for so many of them are not truely justified (Prophets say a justified divorce is very rare) in being divorced & thus are really still married according to God & committing adultery just by even being on the dating site (as one seasoned Stake Patriarch said). You don't want to join them in that act, even on line & have to share in their punishment because you were deceiveable.

While I know the scriptural basis for this view, Elder Oaks has said that right now we aren't living under that law:

In the temples of the Lord, couples are married for all eternity. But some marriages do not progress toward that ideal. Because “of the hardness of [our] hearts,” the Lord does not currently enforce the consequences of the celestial standard. He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law.

So just to be quite clear, right now, people who remarry after divorce are not committing adultery, according to an apostle of the Lord.

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While I know the scriptural basis for this view, Elder Oaks has said that right now we aren't living under that law:

So just to be quite clear, right now, people who remarry after divorce are not committing adultery, according to an apostle of the Lord.

And you're right. This is a difficult issue for many and one I don't go in to without careful thought. Yes, Divorcees in the church are allowed to remarry.

But that's because of the hardness of our hearts.

I can honestly say that dating divorcees requires patience and love. So many of them feel betrayed and have so much baggage from the previous marriage that it becomes difficult to sustain a relationship.

When you throw in kids, even more difficulties arise: If you date and it doesn't work out, what happens to the kids? You can't just step in to a child's life, form a bond and then disappear. Most divorcees get upset if their children are disciplined by someone who isn't their biological parent. Most children have emotional scars from the divorce and that requires more care from the person dating.

Honestly, it becomes very difficult. For me to date a divorcee would be difficult - A divorcee with children, nearly impossible. It's sad, but it's true - Speak with most Divorcees and they tend not to want to date divorcees, either.

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people online are like people in real life - they are very rarely honest when dating. Never understood the game playing in real life either why not be yourself instead of making an massive false impression.

I met my husband in a chatroom and chatting online is a good way to meet someone actually I think its better than real life face to face dating, because you have to talk... the 3 years I spent talking to my husband online is what has got us through difficult times

-Charley

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Guest pimpberries

You know what they say; "Don't knock it until; you try it!"

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I just wanted to throw this out there, even though I've never tried online dating...

I can express myself much more clearly in writing than in person. I string words and phrases together slowly in my head, often rephrasing and inserting or replacing words as I go along. In text, you can read it at your own leisurely pace in a way that makes sense . In person, I usually never finish the entire thought the way it would otherwise appear on paper (or on screen).

And thus, I am currently trying to work out a very sudden, very difficult spot in my relationship with my boyfriend on a messenger, because talking it out in person (as we've tried twice) didn't seem to really work. I've been learning things about how he's been thinking/feeling that we never got out in spoken words.

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I have the same experience with the guy I'm dating. He would rather "talk" online than talk through things because he feels more comfortable that way. Less pressure I think. I'm fine with that, just so long as we get to talk things out and communicate.

Well, right now we only have the option of talking on the phone or online though because I met him on this site and he lives across the country from me...

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