EmilyandKadensMommy Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Hi my name is Chrissy I am a 27 soon to be 28 yar old mommy to a beautiful 4 soon to be 5 yr old girl named Emily Rose. I also have a beautiful going to be yr old baby boy named Kaden Alexander. I have been a mamber for many years up until 3 yrs ago when things in my life came crumbling down. I am going to post the blog I posted on my myspace page to my friends in here. it is a lot to type and I am needing to make dinner so it will be a copy and paste for now. I hope to meet many of you and I hope I can get on my way and find the path within my life...... my story I have been thinking alot lately about who and what I have become, since I left the mormon church 3 years ago. I was a great mom and wife as well as a great person when I was a member and a sunday school teacher. I prayed to god everyday. I was very devoted. I prayed until the day I got a phine call from a man whom was in the brotherhood of the church. He told me I was a bad influence on my daughter and other peoples children because I had gotten my eyebrow pierced. He went on to tell me that I could no longer be a sunday school teacher because the parents of the children I taught thought I would ruin their children. I was told that as a member of the mormon church I should take out my piercing and repent in order to seek forgivness from god. I was no longer welcome or seen as sister Farrell of the church. Like clock work everything started to fall apart. I lost Joey and my baby on July 6 2006. Joey and I began to grow apart as well. I started drinking al;ot. i would wake up and drink. I became a horrible mother. Then the big split happened. I have fallen since then and have hit rock bottom. I have always had an issue with drinking and drug use. I started swearing like a sailor. I started wearing slutty clothes and acting to get the attention from guys that I clearly did not need. I have fallen so far from the graces of god. So much hurt pain and hatred I have had flowing through me. In my opinion I became everything I feared trash. I was my worst enemy and my worst dream come true. When I moved out of Joey's I started going to the bar alot. I was drunk all the time. I was not a good person. a year later Joey came a rescued me from a dangerous situation with a man whom threatened my life as well as my daughters. I tried to leave him so many times but he was abusive and i had lost my way. I was so depressed and run down. Then the day came that he said if you walk out that door your daughter will be without a mother. I went cold. I honestly believe he would have done something to me. He is that sick in the head. All I could think was of him killing me infront of Emily . Then I thought what would he do to Emily if I was dead. She would have been a witness. I was so scared for our lives. Well When he was at work I called Joey and he came with a Uhaul. We got everything of Emily's and mine out. We left finally we were free. We have never looked back. We avoid penn yan at all costs. Joey was my hero as he had always been. Joey asked me to remarry him again and be his wife. I said yes he is the love of my life. He is the only one who understands me and the pain I have suffered. As we are going on 2 yrs of being remarried alot has been flowing through my mind. I want to be that mom I use to be. I am not the same mom I was 3 yrs ago. Nor have I been the same wife. I was an outstanding person. I had so much love for many people. I cared for others.I was happy within myself. So much anger has been riding within me upon the past. I decided to go back to church and take my children with me. Emily and Kaden need the religious values in their lifes. I need those values as well in my life. It's only when you jit rock bottom you realize your family and yourself deserve more from life. I needed to take that plunge and get back to being me. I am not a nasty person nor a mean person as I have become. I handled myself once with class and grace. I was never angry nor sad. I don't want to be angry or sad. I want to be me. I want to be the Chrissy I once was. I have a long road ahead of me but the rest of the road will guide me onto the path I need to be on. I do need god and Jesus Christ in my life. I have vowed to never drink again never touch drugs again( which I haven't touched drugs in over 3 years.) I have vowed to not swear anymore. Nor let my anger get the best of me. I have vowed to dress appropriatly and classy not slutty or in hoochy mama clothes. I don't need to crave the kind of attention I get when I dress like that. I don't need any attention except from my husband. I vow to never fall in with the crowd of people I did when I started drinking. No offence to anyone but I am not like that. I was a great person and people didn't like me because I was so nice and that I didn't drink. I can have a great time being me. If you can't accept the way I was or the way I will become again then I don't need you in any part of my life. Please remove yourself from my page. i will not be going to bars either sorry everyone whom wanted me to go out with you, that is not me. I am not into going to bars nor drinking. If you would like to hang out with me then great we can hang out at my home if you like order dinner and watch chick flicks but we need to keep it pg here. I am going to be stopping all swearing around my children. If you have a problem with that as well then you don't need to be around my kids or myself. If you really value me as a friend then you respect the choice I have made to better my life and to enrich myself and my loved ones with the values of the gospel. i will not push my beliefs on you as I expect none of you to put down my religion or beliefs. My family deserves to have the mom I once was. They are worth the sacrifices that have destroyed me in the past. Infact I can't really say that they are sacrifices, I will not miss any of it. I need to work on me. This is the time. Love you all.- oh and many may be wondering what happened to the brother whom called me and tore me down. Well he no longer is at our church here and he was in no way to say anything like that to me let alone anyone. No one felt any ill will towards me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerGolden Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Hello & Welcome, Chrissy!Good Girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cullenh Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Chrissy WELCOME!!!! I for one am sooooo sorry you went thru all that but I am also glad that you are doing sooo well now .... you go girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a mom of three and I know being a mom is not easy that is for sure and I bet you are an awesome one! Hope to get to know you and keep us posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyandKadensMommy Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Ty both so very much. I really need the support to move on and be the women I use to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Welcome, I hope you find some friends here who will support you in your quest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerGolden Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Ty both so very much. I really need the support to move on and be the women I use to be.I do understand how you feel!HUGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 HI there. Thank you for candidly sharing with us. There is no one out of the reach of the Savior's unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness. I had a thread, Clean your own shelf... .where you would have been the PRIME example of what I was talking about. People can be so cruely judgemental and not have a CLUE where you came from. I dont think the Savior would keep you out of his Kingdoms for a facial piercing. Would I do it myself? Nope. I dont think they are attractive. Do you have a responsibility to treat your body as a temple? Yep. Telling you how awful you are and then saying you are a bad example to your children and others - well, WOOO UNTIL THAT GUY... Sometimes however, someone is good-meaning but comes across wrong to someone. Try to stay open minded. If someone offends you - tell them you dont appreciate it but you will consider their point. Then pray. The Lord will heal your wounds...and let you know if they were well-meaning. We will be here to support you. Pam bites, watch out.... Pale...he's not really a cowboy shhh, he's in denial, and well... thats probably all I should joke about... nah wait.. Soul...he's a lovable grumpy guy who will BOO you! Ok.. :) Seriously though, everyone here is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cullenh Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 You will soon find out that we are alllll nuts here lolololo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Ty both so very much. I really need the support to move on and be the women I use to be.Be that daughter that your FATHER wants you to be. Or perhaps, to emanate our MOTHER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Welcome to this site. Sorry to hear about your stressful situation. You are in a better spot now. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyandKadensMommy Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Thank you all so very much. I am so glad that you all can relate to the issues life deals us sometimes. There is always a choice a right and a wrong clearly:) I admit I do still have my piecings I have 11 total . Not any that are horrible. In my opinion they are cute. I am one to believe that I will be judged upon the works I do, not what my body looks like. I was so young then and easily pushed around . If I could go back and do things over I don't think I would to be honest . Those horrible mistakes have made me a wiser person today:) ty all again so very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maya Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Hi EKM and welcome! So sorry about what happened in the past and so glad you decided to get back to Church! I think pearcing aso.. is everyones own business.. heart is more important. Beeing an example... uh... it is difficult especially with kids as they look so much at the covers and not the heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 My heart aches for you. The good news is that God loves you and wants you to return to him. It would be my cousel that you take it one step at a time. Set your sights on a goal and work towards that goal. Measure your decisions on whether or not they will help you achieve your goal. If we can be of any help towards achieving your repentance and lifes goals then we stand ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Godless Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Welcome to the site and thank you for sharing your story. It was very moving. I think you'll find that people here are very friendly and supportive, and a bit kooky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainofGold Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Hello Emily, So glad you're doing well. Hope you that we are here for you. Last time I checked nobody in this site is perfect, so you'll fit right in. Welcome and I'll keep you in my prayers..:) Rain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islander Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 . I need to work on me. This is the time. Love you all.- oh and many may be wondering what happened to the brother whom called me and tore me down. Well he no longer is at our church here and he was in no way to say anything like that to me let alone anyone. No one felt any ill will towards me.Sister:The Church is the Lord's. He has appointed servants to care and lead His saints. you must build a testimony of the Savior in such magnitude that none can rob you of your place in His kingdom. Your testimony MUST be above snide remarks, rude behavior, ill-intended comments or whatever. The Savior paid for your life with HIS. We love you and rejoice on your return to the fold. My prayers are with you. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 You will soon find out that we are alllll nuts here lolololo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hey... speak for yourself, Mr. Walnut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Welcome to the site and thank you for sharing your story. It was very moving. I think you'll find that people here are very friendly and supportive, and a bit kooky.yes... that Godless is quite Kooky... and pooky...and hooky too (he he... hehe... love ya godless) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolee65 Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Im not a real softy , but more of a strong gotta get this done kind of person. But your post brought tears to my eyes, but they were happy tears, you and your family have every right to feel the love of Heavenly Father in your life and you fought your way back and im extreamly happy for all of you. Welcome Back jolee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) Thank you all so very much. I am so glad that you all can relate to the issues life deals us sometimes. There is always a choice a right and a wrong clearly:) I admit I do still have my piecings I have 11 total . Not any that are horrible. In my opinion they are cute. I am one to believe that I will be judged upon the works I do, not what my body looks like. I was so young then and easily pushed around . If I could go back and do things over I don't think I would to be honest . Those horrible mistakes have made me a wiser person today:) ty all again so very much.Not judging... but you should be aware of the teachings of the prophets, so that you can better decide for yourself and pray about why we have been counselled to not have multiple piercings... and I have already let you know... I will support you and love you regardless - but I do want you to have the information you need to make your own decision.New Era » 2001 » February More than Skin DeepLDS.org - New Era Article - More Than Skin DeepBody PiercingLatter-day prophets strongly discourage the piercing of the body except for medical purposes. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings. n a fireside address on 12 November 2000, President Gordon B. Hinckley said that the youth of the Church face significant challenges. However, he explained, these challenges are more manageable than those faced by prior generations because today’s challenges largely involve behavioral decisions. Once youth decide to behave appropriately, the challenge is behind them (see “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” Ensign, Jan. 2001, 4). Wisely using the divine gift of agency to make correct choices will enable youth to successfully meet the challenges of today’s world.President Hinckley suggested six B’s that can guide youth in overcoming their challenges:• Be grateful. Youth should walk with gratitude in their hearts. They should thank their parents, friends, and others for help given them and should express gratitude to God in prayer.• Be smart. Whatever their chosen field, youth should make the sacrifices necessary to obtain the best education available.• Be clean. Youth are to avoid pornography, taking the name of God in vain, illicit drugs, destructive entertainment, tattoos, body piercing (other than piercing of the ears by women for one pair of earrings), early dating, and every kind of sexual transgression. Youth should choose friends who will be a positive influence on them.• Be true. Youth should be loyal to the Church and true to their convictions.• Be humble. Youth who are humble will be guided by the Lord and will receive answers to their prayers.• Be prayerful. Youth need help from God. They should live so they can speak to Him in good conscience.In his message to fathers at the priesthood session of general conference on 7 October 2000, President Gordon B. Hinckley said that nothing will have so profound an impact on a father’s happiness as the way his children turn out (see “ ‘Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,’ ” Ensign, Nov. 2000, 50).• Teach them to develop good friendships. Latter-day Saint youth should choose friends who will influence them for good.• Teach them the importance of education. Youth will be amply rewarded for their efforts to obtain an education. The Church will also be blessed by their increased capacities and skills.• Teach them self-respect. The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles discourage tattoos and the piercing of the body other than the minimal piercing of the ears by women for one pair of earrings.• Teach them to stay away from drugs. Those who use illegal drugs lose self-control and will do anything to feed their habit.• Teach them the virtue of honesty. A person who is honest enjoys a clean conscience and an unspotted reputation.• Teach them to be virtuous. Sexual urges must be controlled with unbending self-discipline.• Teach them to look forward to the time when they may be married in the house of the Lord. Youth should come to the marriage altar free of evil of any kind. Husbands should avoid situations and attitudes that can lead to divorce.• Teach them to pray. It is a miracle that we can approach God for individual help and guidance.But more than anything - remember - I do think you are a good person. I look forward to getting to know you better and to learn more about your cute little family! We have to see birthday pictures of the baby and the cake!!!! Edited March 3, 2009 by missingsomething corrected a sentence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyandKadensMommy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Thank you all again for the support. Things are going pretty good. I have been pretty stress free since I have been making changes. I admit I slip up once in a while with swearing but I am getting better. I am really trying. I have found that I am now doing more things with my kids. I am not online as much I knw this is just the begining. But Also I have barely watched any tv. I Have begun praying again at night. I am taking baby steps but I know I can do it and get to where I need to be. I am so inlove with the changes I have made and will continue to make. I am laying with my kids more and doing projects with my daughter as well as reading to both of them. When we do watch tv we watch family movies together. Tonight Emily helped me make a quick stitch quilt for my MIL it is her easter gift from us. I think I can finally say I am happy again. My hubby and I have been connecting more. i haven't been shutting him out as I have been. He is not amember nor does he want to become one. That is ok with me. i don't want him to be pushed into something he isn't ready for nor wants. I know we won't be sealed but atleast I get to have him with me now. I also believe that the love we have will be forever even in death. We can be sealed on the other side I am sure. I am just really happy. i know it has been only a little while since I have made changes, but the changes have has a huge improvement . I love my family and Life so very much . I am so thankful:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyandKadensMommy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Oh and Missing Something. Ty so much . I do know the standards but I guess this is my personal choice. I am not saying that in a rude way so please don't think I am . I am thanking you for your love and understanding. Also I will post pictures Of Kaden's Cakes and His Birthday . Yay :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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