Convert Question

[lilered]

I would also take it a step further in that not only have we not practiced plural marriage in the church in the last 119 years, we have a Church Proclomation denouncing it. We also have a record of excommunicating any member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints found to be practicing poligamy. Are there excommunicated members practicing poligamy? Sure, there are. But they are not of our flock.

[blusun7]

I have a feeling we will break up.I have prayed to the lord and i feel that it may be the best choice.I ll give a little while but i have a feeling she will go one way and i the other.I want to become a better person and i cant do that with someone who wont help me and doesn't believe in the book of mormon nor the primitive church that is in the bible. Im studying joseph smith life because i should have some backround on him so i can tell people about him who distort him.especially people interested in the church.Thank you all for you help but i have a feeling a new phase in my life is beginning.I believe it is all cause he has heard my prayers.

I thought i could change someone but you cant.She will be who she is.I dont want to gamble with getting married and hoping she will convert.Nor converting and hope she obeys the gospel. A chance i cant take.I do love all the help you all have shown especially about polygamy and just advice in general.I know what i must do but that is just life.Right? Right!

Edited March 23, 2009 by blusun7

[beefche]

blun, it takes a lot of courage to break up with someone you love because of core beliefs. It's a difficult road...no denying it. But, as we mature, we must look at other things besides love and attraction. The person you choose to marry should help you be a better person and you should help her to be such as well. From the little you posted here, it sounds like this is a girl who is a great person and who wants to be better--but her goals and your goals, although very alike, are not on the same path. It may be better to admit now and deal with the heartache it will cause rather than go through a marriage.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Faded]

I have a feeling we will break up.I have prayed to the lord and i feel that it may be the best choice.I ll give a little while but i have a feeling she will go one way and i the other.I want to become a better person and i cant do that with someone who wont help me and doesn't believe in the book of mormon nor the primitive church that is in the bible. Im studying joseph smith life because i should have some backround on him so i can tell people about him who distort him.especially people interested in the church.Thank you all for you help but i have a feeling a new phase in my life is beginning.I believe it is all cause he has heard my prayers.

I thought i could change someone but you cant.She will be who she is.I dont want to gamble with getting married and hoping she will convert.Nor converting and hope she obeys the gospel. A chance i cant take.I do love all the help you all have shown especially about polygamy and just advice in general.I know what i must do but that is just life.Right? Right!

Do as the Lord directs, by all means. I do hope that you will continue to solidify your background and knowledge in the life of Joseph Smith and the teachings of the Restored Gospel. This could be seen as a first step in arming yourself with better understanding and knowledge. Just remember that the greatest knowledge of all is this: God Himself called Joseph Smith to be His prophet. All questions and attacks against any part of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ leads directly back to this fact. If God did it, then no believer in God can argue against it.

You are right that you can never change another person. Only the other person can change themselves. We do not get to choose that for them.

I wish you all the best.

God Bless

Faded

[Ceebooboo]

Has she actually given it a chance to be true or is she so blinded by her own preconceived bigotry against our beliefs? Anti-Mormons have been trying to talk their way around the Book of Mormon ever since it was published. .

You suggest:

" Is she so blinded by her own preconcieved bigotry against our beliefs " ???

Not sure how old the OP's girlfriend is but I would guess by this thread that they both ( OP and girlfriend ) are very young and are both at early stages of their journeys. Not sure either of them ( especially the girlfriend who is not here to comment ) desreve the labels you placed on her.

To the OP:

Hello,

I am not LDS so I will keep this brief:

If you truly love this young lady be patient and continue your path of courtship with her. God is driving the bus, be still and God bless you BOTH on your journey.:)

Peace,

Ceebooboo

[Faded]

You suggest:

" Is she so blinded by her own preconceived bigotry against our beliefs " ???

What it comes down to is not that she, the girlfriend, is a terrible person. The trouble is, she's closed her mind to everything LDS because this is what she was taught to do. Closed-mindedness is prejudice. She's listening to everyone's opinion about Mormons other than Mormons. She's not giving it much of a chance to be true because she's been taught not to. She already had the opinion that Joseph Smith was a "man-whore." Who do you think gave her that idea??

How do you overcome prejudices that have been taught to people all their lives? Well, the short answer is that it is extremely difficult. If I were in blusun7's circumstance, I would have to somehow get her to realize that she's being closed-minded about it all. As she has a Baptist minister as a father, I think we can conclude that it would be highly unlikely that she is going to have a sudden change of heart and join the LDS Church at some point. It is possible that she would join just because it's what her boyfriend wants, but this would be hollow and meaningless.

One of the most critical matters determining the success of a marriage between two religious-minded people is that they belong to the same faith. If they do not belong to the same denomination, then there must be respect for each others' beliefs. It sounds like there is good reason to doubt that this will be true in this case. Continuing on into a marriage could lead to arguments over which church the children will go to, frequent arguments, and a lot of other bad things. Marriage is hard enough without all that thrown on top.

But do not mistake me, I am not telling blusun7 to break up with his current girlfriend. That is something that should be taken up with God and God alone.

[Ceebooboo]

What it comes down to is not that she, the girlfriend, is a terrible person. The trouble is, she's closed her mind to everything LDS because this is what she was taught to do. Closed-mindedness is prejudice. She's listening to everyone's opinion about Mormons other than Mormons. She's not giving it much of a chance to be true because she's been taught not to. She already had the opinion that Joseph Smith was a "man-whore." Who do you think gave her that idea??

How do you overcome prejudices that have been taught to people all their lives? Well, the short answer is that it is extremely difficult. If I were in blusun7's circumstance, I would have to somehow get her to realize that she's being closed-minded about it all. As she has a Baptist minister as a father, I think we can conclude that it would be highly unlikely that she is going to have a sudden change of heart and join the LDS Church at some point. It is possible that she would join just because it's what her boyfriend wants, but this would be hollow and meaningless.

Hello Faded,

Thanks for the reply.

A very short response as to not take away from the OP's thread.

To be fair, I am confident that some ( the OP's girlfriends Father included ) would freely place, as you have done, the labels of "closed minded as taught to do" ," prejudice that has been taught all thier lives " and such to LDS as well.

It is my humble opinion that we ALL must stop the " My way or I walk " and start understanding that we ALL might be a little bias and prejudice ourselves and allow the Lord to guide us in our journeys.

Peace,

Ceebooboo

[Faded]

I wouldn't disagree with you in the least. I have sought for most of my life to understand and respect the beliefs of others. In the process, I've become painfully aware of how infrequently it is to find that desire for understanding reciprocated. There's a awful lot of hate out there focused on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and all of it is a sad thing indeed.

But I've also been frustrated to find the same behavior among Latter Day Saints, when talking about other religions. It's always a bad thing no matter where you find it.

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose. That goes for everyone.

[blusun7]

Mid twenties is our age

Like i said she is a sweet girl. She would make a man a very happy husband. She s blinded by many other perceptions When it comes to religion and lds. Man oh man does she change into a tiger. :).

I going to monitor my situation but i have a feeling it will come down to breaking up. My cousin married a girl who converted but a couple years later she has gone a stray and now he says that if he knew the outcome he wouldn't of taken the chance but he knows he must love her.In fact i have to cousins and both Return Missionaries.

This is what i see is in the way for her

She doesnt understand Polygamy,nor the reason for a prophet.She thinks joseph smith is a liar and a fraud and the Book of Mormon was made to back up the religion.

Believe me i dont quit easy but im going to see what happens,but it just seems like i already know but then again my wisdom is worth nothing.

I really love this girl. So i pray and ask why the division?I love his daughter(god's) so much that i want to return there with her?So i pray to ask that i may make the right decisions in my life that will make her feel the spirit and see the church for what it is?I may do everything but it comes down to her.

will she accept the spirit.Like i said i m going to wait it out and see for the next month.I want to take her to general conference in two weeks.She expressed interest in it. Maybe if she could see them talk of jesus in such a spiritual way and give guidance to the church a seed might be planted. So thats whay im going to do.

[Guest missingsomething]

Oh blu what a good spirit you have. I read your posts (I lost your thread for a few days)...and the spirit just poored out. Perhaps because I have been there. It is so tough when you love someone to listen to the spirit and walk away. What a heart breaking thing to have to do. For me, I would wish everything could turn out just the way you want it... I will keep you in my thoughts and when I pray for all those who have touched my life - please know you will be part of it.

I lived down south for a long time and I understand just how passionate your girlfriend is. You are approaching this the right way but may I also add - that you pray for the strength to accept Heavenly Father's answer to your prayers.

Good luck, and please... keep us up to date.

[Maya]

"I want to become a better person and i cant do that with someone who wont help me and doesn't believe in the book of mormon nor the primitive church that is in the bible."

This is soooo true. you cant develope with her, unless she is willing to jump in the boat to. and in the boat if she rows the otehr way than you.... I been there!

With an LDS girl you develope as fast as it is possible for you and ifseh to wants to row the same direction... you never know where you end, all doors are open. I am soo happy today that at least I have an LDS man, even though he is a bit sceptic at my cyberthings.

It is heartbrakeing, but it may be the best. Then again... even though you would marry a girl that has a family from JS time in Church... you never know. YOU have to make rules from the first day you married (make them befor marriage) that you WILL study every day at least together every monday night and that you will NEVER let the sun set on an argument. And pray constantly and together!

Edited March 24, 2009 by Maya

[Faded]

Basically, my thoughts exactly Maya. When you're talking about marriage, there's no certainty about anything. You could marry a practicing druid and later see them become Christian and LDS and with an unshakable testimony and righteousness. You could marry someone who seems to be the perfect ideal LDS girl/boy and have them completely go all to pieces, they go on a rebellious streak on you and find yourself in the most difficult marriage circumstances possible.

That is why blusun7 should pray about it and follow the direction of the Holy Spirit. God can know what a girl will be in the future. Nobody else can. So above all else, follow the Spirit.

[lilered]

One of the things that drew me to the LDS church as a convert was the focus on the family as a unit and how important ones spouse can be in the development of the family and obediance to Gods commandments. When we finally were able to go to the temple and be sealed, it all made sense. Additonally, I was and still am to how important it is to make covenants with God and the blessings that are obtainable when honoring those covenants. True joy and happiness.

[Ivy64]

Let me put it simply, and apologize ahead of time for its roughness....

A marriage will NEVER work with someone who does not share your same beliefs. (I can't imagine how you can put up with it anyway.) You must give up your beliefs, or the girl.

[blusun7]

Thank you all for you thoughts and comments. I will pray and i will pray till i get answer. I have a feeling to stay and just practice my beliefs. It is crazy how swell satan has done for people to show such hate to the church. you right that she and many have been taught to hate mormons and so on but yet she loves one.So im going to be a righteous mormon and maybe she will see the true way of the religion. Maybe she wont like you said only god knows. I did wake up this morning and the something popped in my head. Patience....I though for awhile and said to myself"when i want something i get it and that i dont have true patients,maybe just maybe this is going to teach me patience gods way"

[Guest missingsomething]

Let me put it simply, and apologize ahead of time for its roughness....

A marriage will NEVER work with someone who does not share your same beliefs. (I can't imagine how you can put up with it anyway.) You must give up your beliefs, or the girl.

Silly rabbit... have you learned nothing about the gospel... never, always, they really arent proper words to use - because there are ALWAYS exceptions.