How long will it take?

[lost87]

I am growing frustrated because no matter how much time I put into prayer and studying the scriptures, I still feel empty and entirely void of the spirit. Is there any estimate as to how long it will take before I am worthy to feel that again? Any estimate to how long until I can be fully active in the church again and enjoy all the blessings of being a member? I know that I should just trust in the Lord and His time, but what I am doing now isn't working, so either I am doing it wrong, or it will just take a while.

Thanks!

[dazed-and-confused]

My dear friend, i understand your frustration. Part of the addictive process is wanting everything NOW...instant gratification. Perhaps you are also thinking that you've DONE what you need to do, so why isn't it happening, instead of, you ARE doing what you need to do, and yes, it takes time. Please don't forget that any feelings you may have of frustration and perhaps thoughts leading back to "i guess i'm just not worthy and probably will NEVER be worthy" are the adversary's tools to distract you from allowing the process to do it's work. There is a war going on inside you....and being patient and continuing on the right path DOES strengthen YOUR side to win this war. You don't feel it, but you are NOT alone.

Another aspect to be careful of is thinking that YOU are in control.....and how much you WANT to be in control. YOU aren't and may ONLY be in control when you give that control up to HF, as zen as that may sound, getting control by giving up control....lol.

I am going to say something to you that you may not understand, or that other readers may not understand, but here goes. You are experiencing a kind of blessing in your life with this. The issues you are facing are what EVERYONE has to deal with, trust, control, faith, self-awareness, EVERYTHING that you are feeling is felt by others at SOME point in their life....but you seem to be getting a CRASH-COURSE in things all at once, on SO many levels. You are experiencing what warriors in battle go through, and as i said....i believe you ARE, in fact, in an internal war.

Do you think HF would abandon you now?...through all of this?.......are you SO hurt, or angry, or whatever, that you you feel yourself to be so cut off and alone? If you answered yes to this.......welcome to the club, i did as well, at times dealing with my own issues.

BUT, YOU ARE NOT...and i could see that as i came out from all that "STUFF" into the other side of it all.

I know that while you are going through it, it REALLY sucks, and the BLESSINGS you recieve BY going through it SO SURPASS the crap you felt, you can look back and smile a LOVING, LIVING, BLESSED SMILE.

But know this, my dear sister......it may not end there.....these battles may continue every now and then, and THEY MAY NOT......who can say?

Are you familiar with the poem, footprints......?

HF carries us all, even, or perhaps specially, when we think are standing strong on our own two feet.

Facing ones demons is never easy, and as a student of medicine things occur that can affect many levels of disease, AND healing.

YOU ARE HEALING.

[nickleboyblue]

Keep up your good work! You don't feel it now, but God is aware of you personally in a much deeper way than you can ever imagine. I can't go into the doctrinal details here because there isn't much room, but there is an answer to the question: how many drops of Christ's blood were spilt for me personally? We don't know how many fell from his body in Gethsemane, but through deep study and prayer, you can learn that it wasn't a tiny portion. It was EVERY SINGLE DROP. Every last thing Christ did, he did for you personally, because the atonement has no limit to how many sins it covers. As far as becoming active again... that's your choice, and doing so will help you tons. It's not a sign that you've necessarily been forgiven, it's a thing you do IN ORDER to be forgiven. The church isn't for perfect people. It's for you and I.

[Guest Alana]

Took me a while after I got active again to feel the spirit. Probably took about 2 years, though in retrospect, time wasn't so much an issue as learning what I needed to learn. Keep up with it. Something that helped for me was a disciplinary council, it was a good step for when I was 'stuck', I was doing everything I should be and not doing the things I shouldn't be doing, but I was just stuck. I assume this post is after something happened that you couldn't feel the spirit? Good luck with everything.

[Prodigal_Son]

Hey again! You knew you'd hit this wall - you told me so. So hang in there.

My screen name aptly applies to me. I suspect it applies to us all more than we probably recognize...

I want to share with you what I consider to be one of the most powerful talks I've ever heard in my life. No matter how many times I read it or listen to Elder Holland speak it (I review it on my Ipod a few times a year), I'm brought to tears. I hope you will take the time to listen to it or read it (I just did [again] as I formed this post). I will include a link to the free and legal MP3 of the talk - and I'll include the text version, as well. Personally, I find the audio to be preferable to the text, but that might just be me. The audio is the original talk, given at BYU to a BYU audience. The text cleans it up and makes it a bit more universal.

I hope this helps you as much as it still continues to help me.

* * * Here is the MP3. Elder Holland's wife, Pat, speaks first on the track, but if you skip to 10:25 on the track, it'll be right where Elder Holland begins his talk.

* * * Here is the text of the talk.

* * * And here's a song along the same lines, sang by my favorite LDS artist: Greg Simpson.

[NeuroTypical]

So, you felt it once, and now you don't feel it?

I don't know. My story involves never ever feeling it, but wanting to. That process took about two years. My struggle was to find out if it was true in the first place. Now that I do, it doesn't bug me much when I go through periods of my life where I'm not in tune with the spirit. I know it's true.

Sounds more like you are yearning for the support and comfort the spirit brings. All I can say, is that you're in very good company. Even Mother Theresa had her moments where she felt very, very far from God's love.

LM

[rameumptom]

Listen to the Bishop's counsel. Then let God take his time. Learn patience and humility from this, because if you aren't learning those two things, you aren't really working on repentance, but only on getting back to "active" status. That's the wrong thing to focus on.

[lost87]

but i mean...is there any way to estimate literally how long it will take to be able to feel the spirit and take the sacrament and go to the temple, and all of those things that I can't do right now?

[jameslentz]

ask yourself this:

Is God bound by time? No, He isn't, so for Him it takes you as long as it takes you. Not a "fun" answer but it is part of the proving that this life is for us. Patience comes through trial. I'm still in mine learning this too, but it helps to understand that one day it will happen....HF knows you and your struggle and He waits patiently for you to grow.

[foreverafter]

You are in control of how fast you feel the Spirit again & are worthy & righteous. I don't believe it has to take a long time. God has already forgiven you Elder Holland says & the faster you turn from your errors & humble yourself & serve others & make restitution, (which is the proof of repentance) the faster you will gain the spirit, which can take weeks instead of months or years, though there may be some consequences that you must deal with that may last longer.

Are you married? It is easier to gain the Spirit if we are married because the Spirit is "love" or the feeling of love, & if we have a spouse to serve that helps us gain the spirit easier, for the more we serve our spouse's wishes from morning to night & really humble ourselves & want to make them happy before any of our own needs or desires, the faster we feel tremendous love for them, which is "the Spirit". The more you fall in love with your spouse by service to them, the more you gain the Spirit in abundance & also personal revelation will start to flow into your mind. Once you feel & can demonstrate this True Love of Christ you are becoming righteous & worthy once again. It's not as hard as we may think.

If you don't have a wife to serve, do it for your children, parents, friend, the needy, widows or the fatherless around you. There are so many people all around us who live in need, loneliness, & pain. Do what Christ would do for others & you can soon become like him.

Edited July 16, 2009 by foreverafter

[lost87]

im not married.

[Guest Alana]

It seems I'm not the only one who took a while to feel the spirit after getting everything straightened out. I was doing all the right things, prayer, scriptures, serving, attending meetings, the repentance process, etc. and it still took a long time. If I was to look at myself from the beginning of doing all the right things, to the end when I could feel the spirit, I'd say I was in a better place. Sometimes it felt like I had to make all those right things habits before I could feel the spirit again, like it was a safe guard in case I did mess up again, I wouldn't be loosing so much that time, it would be better to get where I was before. Most of the time it was just frustrating. I would talk to the bishop every few months. I actually went through three different bishops. I remember a lot of 'what else do you want me to do ?!?!?!' feelings. It was hard not being able to feel the peace the Spirit brings, especially during such a tough time of trying to turn to the Lord and away from had lead me away in the first place; I was trying so hard. For me, not sure if it'll be the same for you, I didn't feel the Spirit until I was finally forgiven by Heavenly Father for all the things I was repenting of. Even though I had gone through a disciplinary council, and finally was taking the sacrament again and serving fulling in callings, and had pretty much been told that as far as the church was concerned, everything was taken care of, I didn't feel as though I had completed the repentance process. I remember feeling the spirit for the first time in about 6 years and I'd say within 2 weeks I got a confirmation of forgiveness. Just throughout this out there in case this is the same scenario as you.

Also, have you read the Miracle of Forgiveness? It really helped me understand the process and what it really means. It helped me sort out feeling like I should be forgiven and hoping I was, and knowing that I was. Hang in there, keep doing what's right, no matter what is going on in your life.

Edited July 16, 2009 by Alana

[rameumptom]

Are you married? It is easier to gain the Spirit if we are married because the Spirit is "love" or the feeling of love,

Of course, this is only true until the kids become teenagers, then all bets are off....