My husband came back.....

[Guest missingsomething]

Yes Fireproof is the best thing for you Rachelle... seriously it is a wonderful movie and book series.

One other thing... dont be afraid to ask God to take away these pains...

[RachelleDrew]

^I've wanted to get Fireproof and Love Dare for the longest time, even when my husband and I were perfectly happy and content. It just seemed like something interesting to try and looked as though it had some helpful content to be applied to any marriage, not just a struggling one.

[Gatorman]

My offer truly stands. I will glady pick them up and ship them to you. Just let me know.

^I've wanted to get Fireproof and Love Dare for the longest time, even when my husband and I were perfectly happy and content. It just seemed like something interesting to try and looked as though it had some helpful content to be applied to any marriage, not just a struggling one.

[Guest missingsomething]

it had some helpful content to be applied to any marriage, not just a struggling one.

I agree with you.. its a good foundation and one that the church supports... put god in your marriage and the rest will fall into place.

Try blockbuster (I had to ask as I couldnt find it myself - wasnt where I thought it would be) but if you dont find it... take Gator up on the offer.

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Amazon.com: The Love Dare (9780805448856): Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick: Books

Amazon.com: Love Dare & Couple's Study Bundle (Includes 2 Love Dare Books, a DVD & 2 Study Guides) (9780978715342): Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick: Books

Amazon.com: Fireproof: Kirk Cameron, Jason McLeod, Erin Bethea, Ken Bevel, Stephen Dervan, Eric Young, Harris Malcolm, Phyllis Malcolm, Dwan Williams, Renata Williams, Harris Malcom, Alex Kendrick: Movies & TV

[RachelleDrew]

My offer truly stands. I will glady pick them up and ship them to you. Just let me know.

Are you serious? That's beyond kind of you. And useful, for i don't have any major chain

movie rentals in my area. I'm sure the local gas station rental does not carry the movie.

I'll send you my address in a pm. Just let me know how much everything is with shipping and I can send you a money order.

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

If I might add some encouraging words. I am bipolar and was before I joined the Church. I made alot of mistakes. I had no clue back then that I was bipolar. Anyway I became really manic and out of control and did things that I was seriously ashamed of. I had slept with another woman. I turned to my ex wife and told her what happened and that I needed help. Over time she wasn't able to forgive me and we divorced. I stayed with therapy / counseling and became who I am today. Of course I also repented and went to a doctor, and was then diagnosed with bipolar. I have been on the right meds for 11 years now. I am happily remarried and would never treat my wife the way I did my ex wife. I have been stable for quite a long time now and have helped others beat mental illness. People who are bipolar sometimes have no clue that what they are doing is wrong, until it is too late. I normally wouldn't have done what I did. I don't believe that something like that is okay. Yet going manic and out of control for a period of time led to my bad behaviour. Now bipolar people when they realize that something is wrong, have to want to get better...have to want help. When I hit a point of stability I went to my doctor and said "something is wrong with me. I was scared, depressed, ashamed. When manic it was like watching someone else controlling me. Now I'm not saying it is an excuse, but it is a big part of why we do the things we do. Some bipolar people thrive on the mania, some come down from that euphoric high feeling like I did, scared, depressed, ashamed. I hope you are able to work things out with your husband. He will have to re-earn your trust if you stay together. He will have to want help. I hope for the sake of your relationship that he is sort of like I was and is deep down inside a good guy. Things that really helped me were repentance, prayer, and regular attendance to church. I knew when I repented and felt the spirit and cried over what I did, that I was on the right path. People have said that people with mental illness aren't accountable. I don't agree, as some of us know we are in the wrong at times. I no longer use mental illness as an excuse and work everyday to make my life better. I was married in the Mt Timpanogos temple to my current wife, and we have a great life, all because I repented, sought help, and live the Gospel. I hope your husband can find this same direction. God bless.

Rich

[Carl62]

Find the movie Fireproof, if you can. Watch it.

While the movie may be good (IDK, haven't seen it), I have a BIG problem in helping to put money in the pocket of someone like Kirk Cameron who helps support and even appears on anti mormon videos! (see youtube video: "Living Waters University-Oscar the Mormon").

[RachelleDrew]

I'm really not concerned about the beliefs of Kirk Cameron. If he chooses to be stupid on his own time that's his issue.

[Guest missingsomething]

While the movie may be good (IDK, haven't seen it), I have a BIG problem in helping to put money in the pocket of someone like Kirk Cameron who helps support and even appears on anti mormon videos! (see youtube video: "Living Waters University-Oscar the Mormon").

Well Carl,

Then you may miss out on some very good things...

[RachelleDrew]

Just an update, things are still going well on the forefront of my husband. I'm guarded, but not not cynical regarding his recent change of heart.

I've tried to explain to him that it wasn't the cheating that hurt me, it was the way he acted while it was going on and before I found out about it. He seems surprised that I would take him back. Do I really appear than unforgiving and unreasonable? If someone offers me an olive branch and appear sincere and ready to do the work to make up for their mistakes, heck yes i'm going to take it.

Things look very hopeful. While we are wary of each other right now, it's very obvious that so long as we take our time and do the work that this can be repaired.

The only thing that makes me sad now is his lack of faith in the church. When he married me, I was not a member and I certainly won't impose his membership as a stipulation in our marriage. But i'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that there is a good chance I will never be sealed to my husband while i'm still alive. That's difficult to deal with, especially when I was literally MONTHS away from going to the temple with him before all this crashed around my ears.

I am a lot happier knowing that so long as I create a gospel centered home for my children, that someday one of them will make sure my husband and I are sealed. I've got to make that a priority now more than ever. My son (and whatever other kids we might have) may very well not have a priesthood holder in their home. That's going to make it difficult for me to have that gospel-centric atmosphere that I want.....but not impossible I don't think.

I'm getting ahead of myself though. That's all assuming that this works out. But the way things are going right now, I believe it can.

Thank you all for the advice and prayers. It's been duly noted and appreciated.

[Just_A_Guy]

He seems surprised that I would take him back. Do I really appear than unforgiving and unreasonable? If someone offers me an olive branch and appear sincere and ready to do the work to make up for their mistakes, heck yes i'm going to take it.

And thus Rachelle demonstrates again how completely awesome she is.

[talisyn]

I hope all goes well, RD.

[RachelleDrew]

And thus Rachelle demonstrates again how completely awesome she is.

Psh, awesome? Please. I wish.

Things are still going okay. I've more or less moved past the actions of my husband. It's not important anymore, and it's pretty rare that I let myself get upset by it. The things that are hard for me to deal with is the fear that it will happen again. I don't believe he will cheat on me again. I'm fearful that he will just give up on the marriage and abandon me again. He is consumed with guilt (as he probably should be) but guilt causes my husband to regress and clam up.

Trying to work things out is going to be the hardest thing I will probably ever do in my life. I recognize the work ahead of us. I'm just scared that my husband isn't willing to make the sacrifices I am in order to fix this because the task seems so insurmountable. Because it CAN be fixed. It's just going to take time and patience on both of our ends. I'm just scared that my husband is so emotionally zapped that he won't make it. I'm not certain I can deal with being dumped again. And I don't want that for my son. He's so happy to see his dad again. SO happy.

I'm also constantly afraid i'm going to do something wrong. I won't voice my true feelings on a lot of things because i'm scared I will upset him. I have become increasingly obsessed with my looks. As if I weren't enough so before. I feel guilty and terrible after I eat, because i'm scared to gain weight. I feel like I have to be PERFECT. I feel like I have to be better than every other woman on the street, because if i'm the best option then he has no other options than to stick with me. He's not doing anything to provoke this behavior, i'm doing it to myself.

These fears are all irrational of course, but it's something i'm just going to have to suck up and get over. I'm letting myself become irrational. But that's something I need to work on. As I mentioned before, I contribute to this problem too.