Are Milestones In Life Contagious?

[Maureen]

Are milestones in life contagious? For both of my pregnancies I always noticed other women that were pregnant, especially at work. It seems that I was never alone in my pregnancies as if they were contagious. I’m wondering if the same applies to death. Snow’s news regarding his father-in-law’s death comes at the same time as my brother-in-law’s.

Last Monday (August 1st) my husband’s brother (Chris) passed away from a heart attack related to his diabetes. He was 47 years old and leaves behind his wife (my friend), 7 children, ages 13 to 25 and 3 grandchildren with another one on the way. I don’t know if I mentioned but he was the same person who was called as a Branch President and it was his son that just recently got married this past June.

The funeral was on Friday. He was well known in the town he lived in due to his job and coaching basketball. There was a small service and viewing for the family members and a larger service for the community. The larger service was done outside to accommodate everyone who wanted to attend.

His siblings were asked to say something as part of the eulogy. Each sibling said something except for my husband (a little shy and too emotional). I actually said some words but was very ambivalent about talking also due to nerves and emotions. I mentioned some humourous times when my friend and Chris were dating and the fact it was their wedding that brought my husband and I together.

Chris’ children also talked (except for one son) and they all did really well. My husband found it very strange they would even be asked to speak at their own Father’s funeral, but at the same time was impressed by Chris’ one daughter (who has been living with us), who was very articulate and did a very good job.

He was way too young! Even though I was at the funeral it still doesn’t seem real that he’s gone. I think time will eventually confirm it for me as the days pass and we get together for family occasions and he won’t be there. Probably then it will really sink in that he has gone.

M.

[StrawberryFields]

Oh Maureen, I am so sorry about the passing of your brother in law he sounds like a wonderful man. I agree he was way too young to leave this earth. I think you described a wonderful service that was given and I too am impressed that his children were able to speak.

My experience with death is how you described it. When I have lost someone I love it doesn't seem real at first. For me the first weeks were easier then the rest. I believe it has something to do with shock and I also feel that I was being cradled in the arms of a loving Heavenly Father. As time goes on grief has come to me in waves where I am very very sad and then I am okay for awhile. Grief is something you have to go through and you are not able to go around it. I know people who have refused to go through the grieving processes who bury all of the pain inside and sometimes this can make you sick.

Milestones contagious? I don't think so. I think that there are just a lot of people who are on similar journeys.

Here is a poem I like...

by Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918

Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I and you are you,

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference in your tone,

wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,

laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Pray smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word

that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort,

without the trace of a shadow in it.

Life means all that it ever meant,

it is the same as it ever was.

There is unbroken continuity,

why should I be out of mind

because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you

somewhere very near

just around the corner.

All is well

[Setheus]

Originally posted by Maureen@Aug 9 2005, 04:10 PM

Are milestones in life contagious? For both of my pregnancies I always noticed other women that were pregnant, especially at work. It seems that I was never alone in my pregnancies as if they were contagious. I’m wondering if the same applies to death. Snow’s news regarding his father-in-law’s death comes at the same time as my brother-in-law’s.

Last Monday (August 1st) my husband’s brother (Chris) passed away from a heart attack related to his diabetes. He was 47 years old and leaves behind his wife (my friend), 7 children, ages 13 to 25 and 3 grandchildren with another one on the way. I don’t know if I mentioned but he was the same person who was called as a Branch President and it was his son that just recently got married this past June.

The funeral was on Friday. He was well known in the town he lived in due to his job and coaching basketball. There was a small service and viewing for the family members and a larger service for the community. The larger service was done outside to accommodate everyone who wanted to attend.

His siblings were asked to say something as part of the eulogy. Each sibling said something except for my husband (a little shy and too emotional). I actually said some words but was very ambivalent about talking also due to nerves and emotions. I mentioned some humourous times when my friend and Chris were dating and the fact it was their wedding that brought my husband and I together.

Chris’ children also talked (except for one son) and they all did really well. My husband found it very strange they would even be asked to speak at their own Father’s funeral, but at the same time was impressed by Chris’ one daughter (who has been living with us), who was very articulate and did a very good job.

He was way too young! Even though I was at the funeral it still doesn’t seem real that he’s gone. I think time will eventually confirm it for me as the days pass and we get together for family occasions and he won’t be there. Probably then it will really sink in that he has gone.

M.

Its not contagious...you just notice it more when it happens to you or close to you. Sort of like when you name your kid a "rare" name then suddenly all the kids seem to have that name....or when you buy a car and suddenly there are a ton of cars like yours. There aren't more. You just notice them more.

People die ALL the time. Women are ALWAYS pregnant somewhere....

[Setheus]

Remembrance

After many a day when tears have fallen

upon knowledge of your departed soul

there is still a yearning from deep within

for something in life to make us whole.

When weeks have gradually come to pass

so burdened by our restless mourning

an expectation seems to remain

for the aura of your presence returning.

Upon completion of so many months

spent quietly in profound reminiscing

relief can often seem out of reach

and be nothing more than fruitless wishing.

Before oncoming years in our futures

holding on to mementos and memories

we know that your spirit still has breath

as you watch over us compassionately.

Only hope in the greatest sense can be

as we carry out our days not alone

fully aware of our destiny

to reunite with you in Heaven’s home.

[Snow]

Originally posted by Maureen@Aug 9 2005, 03:10 PM

Chris’ children also talked (except for one son) and they all did really well. My husband found it very strange they would even be asked to speak at their own Father’s funeral, but at the same time was impressed by Chris’ one daughter (who has been living with us), who was very articulate and did a very good job.

Maybe it's a Mormon thing. Seems pretty normal to me. My last funneral - grandmother's had talks by the two surviving children and several grandchildren; I said the closing prayer, etc.

I'm sorry for your loss...

[Setheus]

Somewhere in my dreams tonight

I'll see you standing there

You look at me with a smile

"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden

His preciously hand picked bouquet

"God really needed me,

That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels

Are sent from above

I've always had my angel

My brother - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the sky

There will be memories of you and I

When I look up at that sky so blue

All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

[Lindy]

Maureen

I think time will eventually confirm it for me as the days pass and we get together for family occasions and he won’t be there. Probably then it will really sink in that he has gone.

M~ And when that happens....you will grieve again, because you loved him. And because of that love, you will always remember him...always. And that is a good thing.

------------------------------

At the rising of the sun and at its going down,

We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of Winter, We remember them.

At the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring,

We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of Summer,

We remember them.

At the rustling of leaves and the beauty of Autumn,

We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends,

We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live;

for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

We remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

We remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make,

We remember them

When we have achievements that are based on theirs,

We remember them.

As long as we live, they too shall live,

for they are a part of us, as we remember them.

Author Unknown

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I am sorry for your loss of someone you love

[shanstress70]

I'm sorry for your loss Maureen. I hope you and your family can find some peace with this. It is so sad when someone dies young like that.

Take care.

[Maureen]

Thank you all for the kind words and especially the thoughtful poems - I've copied them. And Setheus I'm glad it was just a flesh wound and that you are doing fine.

M.

[Ray]

Originally posted by Maureen@ Aug 9 2005, 04:10 PM

…Probably then it will really sink in that he has gone.

I hope it never really “sinks in” that he’s gone, because he’s not, and it’s very important that we always remember that when someone we love dies. Sure, it may be a while until you see him again, just as it may be a while until I see the ones I love who have died, but that day will come for both of us. Try to remember that. Okay?

And if you have trouble with that, ask God to re-assure you!