The Concept of Forgiving One's Self

[lattelady]

For a long time I struggled with things I'd done in the past, sins I'd committed, and asked forgiveness for, but still felt ashamed of. I would talk to my husband or friends and family about it and comment, "I know God has forgiven me, I just can't forgive myself."

I now believe that to be an incorrect or faulty concept. As I understand the complete work of Christ for me on the Cross, I believe He died to take away my sin--but not just my sin, my shame as well. If it was a complete work, and I believe it absolutely was, then I have no part in it except to believe/trust. I cannot forgive myself and have it be any work that would have any cleansing effect. "Forgiving myself", I see now, is instead an effort I need to make to "let it go"--let it go and trust God that His work was complete. HE is my saviour. HE forgives me. I don't need to forgive myself. I just wanted to know if others see this as a semantics issue--just wording that really means "let it go", or if they consider it a "work" they need to do in order to be freed from sin.

[Palerider]

For a long time I struggled with things I'd done in the past, sins I'd committed, and asked forgiveness for, but still felt ashamed of. I would talk to my husband or friends and family about it and comment, "I know God has forgiven me, I just can't forgive myself."

I now believe that to be an incorrect or faulty concept. As I understand the complete work of Christ for me on the Cross, I believe He died to take away my sin--but not just my sin, my shame as well. If it was a complete work, and I believe it absolutely was, then I have no part in it except to believe/trust. I cannot forgive myself and have it be any work that would have any cleansing effect. "Forgiving myself", I see now, is instead an effort I need to make to "let it go"--let it go and trust God that His work was complete. HE is my saviour. HE forgives me. I don't need to forgive myself. I just wanted to know if others see this as a semantics issue--just wording that really means "let it go", or if they consider it a "work" they need to do in order to be freed from sin.

My wife suffered thru the same thing as you mentioned. I almost thought she was standing here in the room telling me what you just typed. She worked thru it some years ago and was able to let it go. She knew Christ died for her, but had to really fully come to an understanding of the Atonement of Christ.

[Dove]

Hello, LatteLady,

I've prayed often to forgive myself and others.....

I've come to believe forgiving is something I can't do on my own, that it also requires the grace of Christ to have my heart freed.

I do pray for honesty as to what's bothering me, and Father always shows me deeper things about my emotions/experience/myself

I'm not sure about the workings of forgiveness yet. The closest I can come is a lot of letting go; let go and let God.....Let Him take over in changing my heart. I can work on my actions and at working to do His will; but the change of heart, to me, comes through Him and the Holy Ghost, through Christ....

[Grandmakabipbip]

I love all the comments on this thread! I searched for understanding on this subject myself several years ago and came to find that my ability to forgive others came from me receiving the power of the atonement through charity. You know the scripture in Moroni 7:47-48 where after it tells us that charity is the pure love of Christ, the next verse says we must pray to be filled with it? It was when I had received this love filling my heart that I was capable of loving everyone and forgiving everyone including myself. Of course I agree with the OP.. we don't really forgive ourselves-- we just put it into the Lord's hands.

Of course this brought me to wonder about which came first-- the forgiveness or the abilitity to forgive and the obvious conflict with the scripture that teaches we must forgive to be forgiven.

In any case I must have done something right to receive the love and power to forgive--

[Traveler]

Forgiveness is a work. It is the covenant work of the righteous that have received the witness of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice that began at Gethsemane, continued at the cross and was completed with the Resurrection of Jesus Christ returning to the Father. Jesus and his apostles are very clear that the works of forgiveness are first done through covenant by the repentant and then the grace of G-d through Christ can and will atone for all one's sins.

I would point out that such repentance is not just letting go but recognition by covenant that Jesus has taken upon him your pain and death (price of sin) – both the pain and death caused by your sins and the sins of those that transgress against you. I am saddened that many religions blind their members and believers from the works of repentance and forgiveness but I am most grateful for the Prophets of our era that have restored the lost covenant of baptism that completes the covenant of forgiveness and brings remission of sins as was established by Jesus and taught by his apostles.

I also rejoice in the work of bringing this covenant to those noble souls that died without knowledge of such glorious and wonderful works of covenant.

The Traveler

[Hemidakota]

For a long time I struggled with things I'd done in the past, sins I'd committed, and asked forgiveness for, but still felt ashamed of. I would talk to my husband or friends and family about it and comment, "I know God has forgiven me, I just can't forgive myself."

I now believe that to be an incorrect or faulty concept. As I understand the complete work of Christ for me on the Cross, I believe He died to take away my sin--but not just my sin, my shame as well. If it was a complete work, and I believe it absolutely was, then I have no part in it except to believe/trust. I cannot forgive myself and have it be any work that would have any cleansing effect. "Forgiving myself", I see now, is instead an effort I need to make to "let it go"--let it go and trust God that His work was complete. HE is my saviour. HE forgives me. I don't need to forgive myself. I just wanted to know if others see this as a semantics issue--just wording that really means "let it go", or if they consider it a "work" they need to do in order to be freed from sin.

A good source of this misconception [bishops removing the sin] is what President Spencer W. Kimball spoke often about in many sermons and personal interviews. He would explain to the member, the Bishop can remove the burden but not the sin. In speaking about Bishops divine role as a judge in Israel, most Bishops are appointed in removing the burden only. It is Christ who over time will remove the sin from the member. He also stated, only a few here on earth actually have the authority from the Savior, can remove sin. This is a rare case though. He went on to talk about, Christ forgiveness comes quickly for some, while others will have to endure for many years in receiving a confirmation there sins are truly forgiven. So, in the midst of quickly and many years, depending on your severity of the sin, your own sincerity with repentance, it will eventually come.

I know members had asked me in interviews the same question in seeking an answer to their plight on when there sins are truly forgiven. It is moment when we seek further guidance from the Savior, while asking for the Holy Ghost to confirm this question and answer with the member on their standing. It varied from person to person I noticed. For some, it was given and others, it was not.

I would recommend in reading the book called ‘Miracle of Forgiveness’ by Spencer W. Kimball.

[lattelady]

Hemidakota, why do you believe that you need a bishop to remove the burden of your sin? I know there have been times that I lean on a brother or sister in Christ to share with in transparency: "I sinned and I feel such guilt"--but they themselves cannot remove my burden. Jesus removes the burden.

[Traveler]

Hemidakota, why do you believe that you need a bishop to remove the burden of your sin? I know there have been times that I lean on a brother or sister in Christ to share with in transparency: "I sinned and I feel such guilt"--but they themselves cannot remove my burden. Jesus removes the burden.

A bishop is the apointed proxy for Jesus Christ. Do you not believe that there are apointed proxies for Jesus Christ that over see his fold?

The Traveler

[lattelady]

No, I don't. I believe there are overseers of a fold--my husband is one of those. But he isn't a proxy. If I'm understanding that term correctly, you believe that since Christ isn't here in bodily form, an appointed person (like the bishop of your church) would serve in His place, as a go-between, speaking to God on my behaf. I don't believe that is necessary today. I believe that when Jesus died, the need for priests (go-betweens) ceased, and I can go to God on my own. I can come to Him in prayer, through Jesus, and confess my sins, and that burden will be lifted because I have forgiveness. I don't need another man to do that for me.

[Traveler]

No, I don't. I believe there are overseers of a fold--my husband is one of those. But he isn't a proxy. If I'm understanding that term correctly, you believe that since Christ isn't here in bodily form, an appointed person (like the bishop of your church) would serve in His place, as a go-between, speaking to God on my behaf. I don't believe that is necessary today. I believe that when Jesus died, the need for priests (go-betweens) ceased, and I can go to God on my own. I can come to Him in prayer, through Jesus, and confess my sins, and that burden will be lifted because I have forgiveness. I don't need another man to do that for me.

Do you call your self a Christian? Taking upon someone's "name" is an act of proxy. Some that use the name of Christ do so without his permission - to whom he said "I never knew you".

I think I understand from your posts why you do not believe anyone in our day and time has been given permission to use his name.

The Traveler