debrafowler8 Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 (edited) I am new to this websit. still learning how to use it. I saw at the top of the page the topic of the page divorce, depression and the p word. I cant seem to be able to get into this email to read it. I am one of the many who just found out that my marriage is also plegued by affairs, and porn and I am desperate to read what I can to help me work through this with my husband. It is killing me inside and I feel like I just am not sure how to deal with this. I want to find articles to read that may help me not to respond just emotionally about it . If anyone can help me please....I am open. I dont want to hate my spouse, or throw in the towel but this has happen in the past only to find out that It never stopped. what am I to do, what do I have a right to do? I have a email *edited* if anyone can share with me anything positive, or helpful. Edited December 7, 2009 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) You need to be careful posting you email like that, personal information can be taken advantage of. I suggest you have people private message you through the board software, if you really want to us email I suggest having them contact you initially through private message and then exchange email. Edited December 7, 2009 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Concur... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marchman Posted January 3, 2010 Report Share Posted January 3, 2010 I'm sorry that you had to deal with some of these things with your husband. I'm a married man and have certain issues with stuff kinda like what your husband is doing- minus the affairs. The reason why I would do some of the things your husband does is because I dont feel good about myself. Stress and frustration about certain things can activate it. It was heaviest when I had frustrating times with the wife- like arguing over and over about the stupidest things. Every guy has a natural sexual drive that I dont think some women understand. I think its a thing the lord has given men to successfully fill the earth with seed. It is a strong drive and men are supposed to learn how to control it. Some have the ability to hold it down ( notice how I said hold it down, never does it go away), but for others it is a struggle, and for others they dont want it to go away because they are having to much fun. You said also that he was having affairs? Where they in the past or are they still happening? Im assuming that it was in the past? I hope so because if it's not then you need to send him a wake up call, a serious one. I know you dont want to hate him but if he is still having affairs with other people he's doing something very damaging to the relationship and especially to you. A man in this situation has to learn a lesson from this. If he is still having affairs he is not thinking at all about you or concerned for your wellfair. You need to take car of you right now. He's not going to change untill something bad happens, like, you do leave him. Some men dont wake up and start to change till they realize that they have lost everything. It's called reality. It has the same laws as gravity. We can defy it all we want untill we finally slip, fall, and recieve internal bleeding. And that's when we realize there's now a boundry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zechariah Posted January 4, 2010 Report Share Posted January 4, 2010 That you are seeking help to work through this with your husband, indicates to me a very great love for him, and considerable compassion and grace. I can easily see why a woman would want to throw in the towel. Few things tread more cruelly upon the very core of the heart of a woman. Such betrayals tear away at her sense of worth, can crush her love of husband, and can completely destroy her trust, and, as a result, her marriage and any future happiness with a man.I truly admire your desire to work through this with him. Your husband may have been a selfish fool to behave as he did, but he is a lucky man to have you.God bless you in your efforts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss_Mae Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 debrafowler8: I am new as well, but believe the thread you were trying to read may have been on the Open Forum--a forum which has an age limit and which you have to be admitted to (by any of the moderators, I think). I have a similar issue--not with my husband, but I have been hurt by abuse in the past and it still haunts me--and would like to know more as well. If you find how to gain access to the open forum, and/or if you find any useful information, please let me, know. try searching the term 'intimacy' in the forum search engine. I did so awhile ago and found many useful threads about adultery in marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 debrafowler8: I am new as well, but believe the thread you were trying to read may have been on the Open Forum--a forum which has an age limit and which you have to be admitted to (by any of the moderators, I think). If you read the forum descriptions it states to send me a message and what to say in the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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