Guys, would you ever consider marrying someone like this?

[alana27]

I'm just curious about this.

Would you ever consider marrying a girl if you were dating her for awhile, and you wanted to marry her.. but then you find out that at one point in her life she made some mistakes (regarding the law of chastity & the word of wisdom). Would it bother you so much that you would not marry her? Or would you forgive her for it (if she repented & was now active in the church and living the gospel).

[WmLee]

I wouldn’t even ask. Everyone has some baggage of some sort. If she chose to tell me it would be to ease her conscious and to let me know where she came from. Where you came from isn’t as important as how you got to where you are, what you learned on the way and most important, where you are now. I’m told when we repent, truly repent, we are forgiven and it is forgotten by our Father in Heaven. We however, do not forget least we make the same mistake again.

When I was dating my wife she told me one night that there were things in her past she was ashamed of. I told her that wasn’t important to me; (her past) because I could see who she was and I could see what and who she could be. And that is why I wanted her in my life. I saw a home centered on the Savior, a home of love and learning, one where the outside world would not be the most important function.

I have no idea what she might have said that night and she has never disappointed me. She has filled my life with more than I could ever imagine. If YOU feel you need to share something, then do. If he changes his mind about you then he never really saw you in the first place. Sad as it might be, it’s better to know about him up front. But I don't think it's important.

[NeuroTypical]

Would you ever consider marrying a girl ... at one point in her life she made some mistakes (regarding the law of chastity & the word of wisdom).

Yes. (I did, in fact, marry such a girl.)

Would it bother you so much that you would not marry her?

The events in and of themselves, no. Her attitudes and opinions towards them would be the thing to look at. One time mistake? Pattern of behavior? Indication of character flaw? Context means a lot here.

Or would you forgive her for it (if she repented & was now active in the church and living the gospel).

Whether she's active or not, forgiveness isn't conditional. It needs to happen either way. But you can forgive someone and still not marry them or continue a relationship with them.

LM

[rameumptom]

I'm not into a person's past sins, unless they are in the very recent past.

If a man/woman has repented and has shown good works, there is no reason why that person cannot make for a wonderful mate. Just look at some of those in the scriptures who repented: Alma, Paul, etc.

[ryanh]

No one is perfect. I certianly wouldn't be the first one to cast stones. However, I would feel a duty to understand, as LM pointed out, the circumstances and attitudes. Sometimes the greatest learning occurs through failure - that is what I would be most interested in. i.e. Did the issue cause spiritual growth and learning in this person I'm considering?

[Prodigal_Son]

...Or would you forgive her for it (if she repented & was now active in the church and living the gospel).

D&C 64:10

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men [and women].

Now I don't mean this in the rude manner that it will sound, so please think on this and avoid taking offense: Do you 'deserve better' than her just because YOUR list of mistakes and misdeeds are a slightly different list than hers?

[Dravin]

Yes I would consider such.

[dazed-and-confused]

as a convert myself, i have my own baggage....yes..i also married someone with "history".

[FunkyTown]

Depending on the girl, I'd be okay with it. That certainly wouldn't be what caused me to break up.

However, some people have lived their lives from birth taking the commandments very seriously. They feel they deserve someone who has been doing it as long as they have. While such a person may end up lonely, I can't deny that they deserve someone every bit as universally faithful as themselves.

[Jenamarie]

Dated and married a guy like that, and I'm someone who's never tried a beer (or even been in a position to be offered one), drugs, or broken the law of chastity. He had just reached the end of the repentence road when I met him (went back to the Temple for the first time shortly after we got together. His face was a sight to see when he came out :) ) He has been a *wonderful* husband and father, and has been a faithful Priesthood holder since the day I met him. His sins were forgiven and forgotten and it has not had any sort of negative impact on our marriage in the least. About the only time it comes up is when we're sitting in Chili's waiting for our food and I flip through their drink menu and ask him what a particular brand of alcohol is made of.

If you believe in the Atonement, and the person has genuinely applied it to their sins (not just stopped because they got caught), then their past sins should have no bearing on whether or not they're datable material.

[annamaureen]

I married a guy who had made some mistakes. By the time we met, he was already active in the church again and had sincerely repented. If I expect to be forgiven for my sins, how can I judge someone and say he's "not good enough" for me even though God has forgiven him?