New "Steak" Center Announced

[pam]

Announced plan to open Mormon-themed restaurants!

There is an idea floating around Utah, Arizona, Idaho and California for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called The Steak Center (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meating!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at both end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered plastic tablecloths.

The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters -- men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items for lunch and dinner will be:

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak

Primary Rib

Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef

Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes

Eliza R. Snow crab (in season)

And It Came to Pasta

Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Breakfast items will include:

Pearls of Great Rice

Frosted Minivans

Adam-ondi-Omelettes

Also available

In Our Lovely Desserts

Fast Sundaes

Gadianton Cobbler

Laman Meringue Pie (just sinful!)

The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties...

At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!

[hordak]

ppffff. Bound to fail. No Green jello

[Roseslipper]

very funny very cleaver ..lol...

[RipplecutBuddha]

That's awesome....sign me up...I'll help the young servers vacuum the carpet...

[miztrniceguy]

I'll have the Porterhouse Rockwell Steak....I hear it's to die for!!

[Traveler]

Announced plan to open Mormon-themed restaurants!

There is an idea floating around Utah, Arizona, Idaho and California for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called The Steak Center (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meating!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at both end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered plastic tablecloths.

The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters -- men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items for lunch and dinner will be:

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak

Primary Rib

Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef

Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes

Eliza R. Snow crab (in season)

And It Came to Pasta

Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Breakfast items will include:

Pearls of Great Rice

Frosted Minivans

Adam-ondi-Omelettes

Also available

In Our Lovely Desserts

Fast Sundaes

Gadianton Cobbler

Laman Meringue Pie (just sinful!)

The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties...

At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!

Just wondering if this franchise would be non-prophet.

The Traveler

[Moksha]

There was an extremely clever variation on this "Steak Center" idea, that I did a cut and paste into a post at Beliefnet a few years ago. To burdensome to look for it, but it must be around somewhere on the net. Some of the posters added their own items. Very funny.

[Moksha]

Here it is with the slight variations. Can't remember where I originally found it, but the who idea is a hoot. Wish some of you would add on to it.

At the Steak Center, it is mandatory to have milk before meat.

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak, Primary Rib and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes. They will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab.

And let us not forget a wide variety have "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese. Additionally, they'll have breakfast Items, including Pearls of Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes. (Bulk powdered milk will be located at the end of the condiment table so you can mix it to your favorite consistency) Also available, "In Our Lovely Desserts", including Fast Sundaes, Gadianton cobbler, carrot shaved Jell-O, fresh potato Chip casserole, and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie.

All meals will be served on Golden Plates…. which must all be collected and buried before you leave.

The waiters will be 12 and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties. At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

[Gretchen]

Too funny, kinda reminds me of a primary lesson where we where talking about wards and stakes, and one girl said, "Steak? There's a war inside a steak?" True story, too.