Going on a date and some questions in regards to it

[daenvgiell]

Hey Guys

So I'm going on a date tomorrow... only the 2nd planned date I will have ever been on, I'm quite nervous, I'm not sure if I like the him or not, but I'm thinking more towards the yes side.

So it's a complete surprise, which I think makes it even more nerve wracking for me. I know that one date doesn't mean you're exclusive or anything like that, but his mate goes to me the other day... break his heart and I'll break yours. That worries me a bit. Should I be worried by this comment? Should I be worried about the date even?

Guess it's a bit hard for you to answer those questions when you don't know either him or myself.

Have you ever had a surprise date? How did it turn out?

[FunkyTown]

You're putting way too much thought in to this.

You are an awesome LDS Aussie girl. Go and have fun. Don't be nervous. Worst that happens? He shakes your hand goodnight and you politely decide you aren't for each other.

Best thing that happens?

You meet someone amazing.

[daenvgiell]

Thanks FunkyTown, never really thought about it like that. :)

[FunkyTown]

Thanks FunkyTown, never really thought about it like that. :)

You're welcome.

Though I guess the absolute worst thing that could happen is that he could have a nervous breakdown just before the date, pick you up in a stolen car, run over eight people with you in the car while he tries to get away from the cops, you both get arrested for grand theft auto and vehicular homicide and are given capital punishment.

But there's only like... A fourty percent chance of that.

[daenvgiell]

LOL! well lets just hope he doesn't have a nervous breakdown and we'll all be ok

[Moksha]

Hey Guys

So it's a complete surprise, which I think makes it even more nerve wracking for me. I know that one date doesn't mean you're exclusive or anything like that, but his mate goes to me the other day... break his heart and I'll break yours. That worries me a bit. Should I be worried by this comment? Should I be worried about the date even?

The mate certainly knows how to send up red flags, doesn't he? Who wouldn't be worried after a comment like that. Sounds like a bit of immaturity on their part.

Have fun but remember, no pirouettes on the first date.

[daenvgiell]

Awww man! I really wanted to break out into my dance moves.

So they're definitely a no go?

[Boris_natasha]

Is it possible that his mate fancies you too?

[daenvgiell]

Is it possible that his mate fancies you too?

No I don't think so, he has a girlfriend, although I suppose that's never stopped anyone before.

[Captain_Curmudgeon]

Have you ever had a surprise date? How did it turn out?

For me, uniformly horrible.

[UrbanFool]

I think he's possibly been through a rocky relationship before, so I wouldn't worry about the friend's warning. He's trying to be the best friend he can.

[daenvgiell]

Ok so just to let you all know, the date went really well :)

Another question... hmmm maybe this should be in the advice forum and not here...

So the guy who I went on a date with indicated that there would be a next time. I just want your opinions on another matter, sort of. There's another guy who I was interested in before this new one, now I'm not saying he will, but if he asks me on a date, would it be wrong of me to accept it? even though I may possibly like the new one better?

[FunkyTown]

Ok so just to let you all know, the date went really well :)

Another question... hmmm maybe this should be in the advice forum and not here...

So the guy who I went on a date with indicated that there would be a next time. I just want your opinions on another matter, sort of. There's another guy who I was interested in before this new one, now I'm not saying he will, but if he asks me on a date, would it be wrong of me to accept it? even though I may possibly like the new one better?

No. Dating is fine, until you become exclusive.

I should warn you, though: He might not see it that way. Better to know for sure than always wonder, 'What if?' though.

[daenvgiell]

What do you mean by "better to know for sure"?

[gabelpa]

Some guys expect dating exclucively after the first date. Make sure he's not one of them.

[FunkyTown]

What do you mean by "better to know for sure"?

What I meant by that is: You don't want to date him for 8 months, get married and always in the back of your mind wonder 'What if I dated (insert person here)'.

Not just for your sake, but for his. Nobody wants to be the consolation prize. I know I'd only want to marry the person who loved me more than anything.

[MichaelCraig]

As for dating them both, just be up front and truthful with them both. It's always best to be truthful. Sometimes it hurts feelings a little but it's a lot better than hiding your feelings and intentions then later having to deal with a mess that could have been avoided. Both, if they are mature, will respect you and feel better about it themselves if you are totally truthful from the start. Then if they show harsh feelings it may be that he is not the one for you.

[RipplecutBuddha]

I agree. Too many people consider dating as exclusive as marriage. The purpose of dating is to discover what you like in a companion..not to tie the knot with the very first one you meet. As to the "break his heart and I'll break yours" comment, well, it illustrates my point exactly.

Dating is supposed to be fun, relaxing, and an enjoyable way to make friends. Of course there will always be the nervous element of not wanting to look like a tool, but then,that's part of the exitement. (I should know, I was very good at being a tool in my youth...).

Let everyone you date know up front that you're not looking for anything serious. As long as you are vocal about keeping your options open (and you should at this point), then nobody has a reason to get upset if you decide you want to keep looking.

Just like any other relationship we have, be it with our parents, siblings, or Heavenly Father....open, honest, and constant communication is the most important key to keeping things healthy and happy.