My missionary has been gone for almost 11 months.

[AlixPaige]

He's been out for nearly a year. 1 Month til a year.

We were extremely close before he left, but not to the point of being overly attached.

Right now, I feel detached with him-- but I still love him.

I think I'm feeling really detached because he is really concetrating hard on his work. I don't think I would feel detached if he wasn't.

When he gets back I want to take things slow.

I just don't think it would feel/be right if I was to kiss him until we had gotten to know the new versions of each other...more sophisticated and mature

what do you think?

[pam]

Is this a different missionary. On another thread you posted in December that he was getting ready to leave. So that would only be 9 months.

[beefche]

I don't know, pam. Maybe it was that other missionary that she received some revelation about?

[AlixPaige]

would you guys leave that alone. please. it never happened. i didnt even want it to happen after awhile. I grew up.

in this post, this is my boyfriend who i am talking about. and yes he has been out for just about 11 months.

[beefche]

Fine, you grew up. But, I'm still left scratching my head about why you are worrying about kissing a guy who is still on his mission and has over a year left. And why are you asking us? When he comes home, that is a discussion the two of you should have. Mature relationships have constant communications about every aspect of their relationship, including the physical aspects. So, let him do his work, you focus on continuing to mature. Once he gets home, give him some time and then you two need to discuss your relationship and where each of you see it going.

[MormonMama]

As a missionary he shouldn't even be thinking about romantic relationships right now. He should be focusing on the Lord's work.

Which might be good advice for you as well. "Forget yourself and go to work," as Gordon B. Hinckley's father told him. Immerse yourself in church service and activities, school if your in school, your job if you have one, etc. That doesn't mean you forget your missionary, but focusing on him and wondering what's going to happen a year from now is no way to live your life.

Forget yourself in work and service for now. Then, as Beefche said, after your missionary gets home you guys can get to know each other again and see where things go from there.

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Alix,

You'd probably have better luck posting in the Youth & Seminary, or the YSA forum. They're more understanding of powerfully emotional teenage infatuation there.

[pam]

Hi Alix,

You'd probably have better luck posting in the Youth & Seminary, or the YSA forum. They're more understanding of powerfully emotional teenage infatuation there.

No the adults would just all go there and post.

[pam]

I think I'm feeling really detached because he is really concetrating hard on his work. I don't think I would feel detached if he wasn't.

Actually this is good news you feeling so detached. That means he IS able to concentrate on his work and not thinking about some girl who is seeing "engagement rings" in her eyes.

[AlixPaige]

Hi Alix,

You'd probably have better luck posting in the Youth & Seminary, or the YSA forum. They're more understanding of powerfully emotional teenage infatuation there.

excuse me? strong teen infatuation. #1 I am not a teen. #2 I am not infatuated with my boyfriend. I love him, but that doesn't mean I am infatuated. We've been dating for 2 years, and we were good friends before we even started dating.

You don't even know me. My missionary is concentrating very hard on his mission and I am concentrating very hard in college.

The reason I posted on here was to see if anyone else supported my decision to wait to kiss him. We kind of rushed the relationship before he left, but when he gets back we want to take it slower. Heck, we might even start all over again.

I guess the only people who actually understand would be the people in my same situation right now.

You're probably some 40 year old man whose girlfriend didn't wait for you while you were on a mission, and I can see why.

Please everyone just leave me alone. I just wanted to see if I was the only one out there who felt like me, obviously I am!

Edited September 8, 2010 by AlixPaige

[AlixPaige]

Actually this is good news you feeling so detached. That means he IS able to concentrate on his work and not thinking about some girl who is seeing "engagement rings" in her eyes.[/QUOT

I am not seeing engagement rings in my eyes. But I am glad I am feeling a bit detached. That means we are both concentrating on what needs to be concentrated on to make a future possible

[pam]

You don't even know me.

That's right we don't know you. Then why ask a bunch of people who don't know you whether you should kiss a guy 13 months from now?

[pam]

#1 I am not a teen

19 was still a teen last time I checked.

[beefche]

Yeah, posting on an internet forum to get "everyone's" support is very mature. And how can we leave you alone if you post a thread asking for people's opinions?

I'm really am curious. Why do you even care what a bunch of strangers think of your decisions? Wouldn't it be better to ask a close friend, relative or advisor their opinion?

[Wingnut]

You're probably some 40 year old man whose girlfriend didn't wait for you while you were on a mission, and I can see why.

Whoa, calm down a little. The people giving you advice and posting on this thread are all older than you with more life experience and perspective. They are all in a good position to help you. Perhaps there has been a bit of mocking, but that also comes from perspective and experience: the fact is that a very small percentage of girlfriends wait for their missionaries, and even less actually marry them later. There's nothing wrong with waiting, or with feeling detached while you do. Most people don't even marry someone they knew before their mission (or before 19-20 years old), so your indignant retort directed at Loudmouth_Mormon isn't really even a good argument. I think everyone here just wants to make sure that you're being realistic and not just seeing hearts and rainbows whenever you think about your missionary.

[pam]

We're going to leave her alone as she has asked. Perhaps when there is maturity in knowing that when you post on a public forum you are going to get different answers we can entertain the thoughts. Thread closed.