I Am Such a Mean Father

[slamjet]

So I went back to the Midwest to visit with my 4 kids. Well, we went to SAMs Club to get the weeks groceries. After shopping, we all had Icee's.

This is where my deviant self kicked in.

I pull out the new "gold" dollar coin from my wallet and said "The first one to get a freeze-brain headache wins this dollar." They first looked at me like I was nuts, a look I'm used to. Then they saw the "gold" dollar coin. I then said "GO." I now had four kids (2-13yo and 2-9yo) sucking desperately at their straws then, all at the same time, they real back, heads spinning and start declaring victory while in a state of a cold headache. It was HILARIOUS! Even mom was laughing. The looks on their faces were priceless.

My baby girl won, but I pulled out three more "gold" dollar coins and gave each one. Sad part, to them, it was fun.

St. Peters is never going to let me in for this one.

[jayanna]

You're so lucky, my kids would've held out for 5 bucks at least!

What a deal.

[talisyn]

I am soooo doing this when my nephews come to visit this weekend!

[PrinceofLight2000]

One time, my dad's family and I took a trip to Cape Cod, and they always go to Provincetown. It's tradition to have one big dinner at a restaurant called the Lobster Pot during the week we are there. I got some blackened tuna sashimi, and it came with way more wasabi on the side than I could handle, so I had quite a bit left over. I paid my uncle five bucks to down the remaining tablespoon and a half of it and, it was the best five bucks I had spent on our trip!

His face was absolutely priceless (the guy is completely bald and turns red as a cherry, we thought he was going to explode), he couldn't see or breathe for the next ten minutes. When his meal came he was even more annoyed because what he ordered had wasabi in it as well. We were all cracking up.

Then, there was another time where I was staying with them at their house in Vermont. Apparently a couple weeks before then, my grandmother had been staying with them. She's a little odd, and she decided to "save space" in their refrigerator by mixing about 5 different bottles of hot sauce together, all of varying heats, and I think one had even been a less powerful additive.

Coincidentally, they had just had a lot of leftovers worth of Chinese catering from a party, and there was some strong Chinese mustard left. I told my uncle I'd give him a dollar if he ate it, and so he did. There wasn't much left and it was really easy. Then he asked me if I wanted my dollar back, and I said of course. Here comes the fun part. Out from the fridge he pulls a bottle of Frank's Red Hot. At this point I'm thinking, "Oh, this'll be easy, it's just Frank's." Little did I know it was the insane death mixture my grandmother had made. I took the impression that they had thrown it out after they found out what happened. Nope!

So, my uncle gets out a shot glass and pours about half a shot's worth of this stuff for me to drink. I downed it, and it didn't really hit me till about ten minutes later. My mouth was burning pretty badly, and it felt like my stomach had contracted into a brick of lead. Everything was burning, I was sweating like crazy, and I'm fairly certain the different hot sauces had varying starts and finishes, which pretty much nuked my digestive system.

Then he told me what it was. I proceeded to semi-freak out, and demanded that he took the same punishment I had because there was no way that was worth a dollar. Being the nice guy he is, he decided to suffer with me. I ended up taking it a lot better than he did in the end. Fortunately it didn't kill me on the way out, but it did him. I'm pretty sure he blew up their bathroom the next day.

Edited September 23, 2010 by PrinceofLight2000

[prisonchaplain]

Reminds me of the time my father promised me a dollar if I could be quiet until we got to our destination (about 2-hours), during a road trip. I made it and was so proud of that daughter. I never realized til years later that this was probably the best return on money my dad ever experienced!!! :-)

[talisyn]

My nephews and oldest daughter are very competitive and very loud on trips. In order to save my sanity I managed to get them to play the 'who can hold their breath the longest' game. It's free, quiet, and on good days someone will turn purple

[PrinceofLight2000]

My nephews and oldest daughter are very competitive and very loud on trips. In order to save my sanity I managed to get them to play the 'who can hold their breath the longest' game. It's free, quiet, and on good days someone will turn purple

It's all fun and games until someone passes out.

[pam]

Kind of a different twist to these kinds of stories.

I grew up in San Diego. At the time the closest temple was the Los Angeles temple. So when the adults went to do a temple session it was pretty much an all day affair.

Anyway, a girl I grew up with was assigned to watch her younger brothers and sisters while her parents went up to LA to the temple.

One of the younger sisters swallowed some bb's. My friend (the one watching them) told her that if she moved at all, the bb's would start exploding inside her stomach. That poor girl sat there for several hours not moving because she was afraid that it would happen.

[PrinceofLight2000]

Kind of a different twist to these kinds of stories.

I grew up in San Diego. At the time the closest temple was the Los Angeles temple. So when the adults went to do a temple session it was pretty much an all day affair.

Anyway, a girl I grew up with was assigned to watch her younger brothers and sisters while her parents went up to LA to the temple.

One of the younger sisters swallowed some bb's. My friend (the one watching them) told her that if she moved at all, the bb's would start exploding inside her stomach. That poor girl sat there for several hours not moving because she was afraid that it would happen.

First skit only. Edited September 24, 2010 by PrinceofLight2000