Looking for some advice about what to say

[Mal1980s]

Well this subject came up in class and I didn't know what to say. Somehow the subject of dating turned in to one about wet dreams. And somebody asked me what is the churches stand point on wet dreams. Is it a sin to sleep while your thoughts are in a lustful state of mind. I kinda got stuck and didn't know what to say so told them I would get back to them.

[NeuroTypical]

God built our bodies to work the way they do. It's no offense to Him, when they work the way they're designed to.

[Tarnished]

The question really comes down to this, “Can you control your dreams? Can you control what you dream about?” Chances are you probably can’t, even those people who lucid dream (where you are able to control your dreams to a point) often can not control what they dream about. I would not consider wet dreams as sinful as you can not control what you dream about. But I wouldn’t dwell on them after you wake up. I have known people who have been given blessings to have respite from wet dreams. And with those people I know it has worked, as long as they were following the gospel and doing what they should they did not have wet dreams. For the most part though I would not view wet dreams as a sin.

[Guest Alana]

We are to let virtue garnish our thoughts unceasingly. The tricky thing about thoughts is that they can pop into our head without our permission sometimes. What counts is if you entertain them or not. In dreams we seem to loose control of if we allow those thoughts stay or not.

Sometimes I have violent dreams when I'm frustrated with something. That doesn't mean I go to sleep imagining doing violent things to someone I may be frustrated with. You mentioned being in a lustful state. It's a natural thing to have sexual urges. Doesn't mean you have to encourage and dwell on them when awake.

Perhaps we'll be accountable for our dreams when we can control them. But then again, if we could really control them, I wouldn't keep having the dream about the giant spiders coming out of the dryer vent...

So in short, no, I don't think having 'wet dreams' is a sin. Falling asleep while entertaining lustful thoughts? Sure.

[Gwen]

dreams can be very interesting. some ppl can choose what they will dream about by what they ponder before going to bed. some can choose to stay asleep or wake up from a dream depending on how much they do or don't like it. some can lucid dream and have full control. some ppl have no control what so ever. some never remember dreams. others remember nearly all dreams.

our bodies are what they are. the question is was it an "innocent" dream or did they ponder things before going to bed that triggered it, did they chose to stay asleep rather than wake up cause "this isn't my fault right?". the issue is what you do with what you can control. each kid will have to evaluate their dream with their own heart. make it a matter of prayer if you need to. take action where you can, don't beat yourself up where you can't.

in the end it's just a dream... personally i like to see where there is deeper meaning in them.

something else you may not want to mention but might want to ponder in case the question comes up. when the body is full of hormones and the wet dreams start sometimes gender isn't the brain's biggest concern. it's not uncommon at all for teens to have same gender dreams. that is in no way a good determining factor to if you are or are not gay. it simply means you are hormonal, might mean you are more comfortable with your own gender so that is where the expression comes out first. don't make it more than it is. take your time to learn yourself without all the pressures from the world.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I see no accountability for having a wet dream. It's well known in psychology literature that people have involuntary stiffness during their sleep, and I suspect this prompts the dreamwork. In my view, it's natures way of easing the tension without holding the man accountable.

[Gwen]

so serious question lol

i've always heard the physical explanation for guys and wet dreams. there is no physical reason for women to have them. but girls have sexual dreams just like guys do. are the girls more accountable for their dreams than the guys cause there is a "reason" for theirs? why do girls have them? do wet dreams end after a guy no longer needs that form of physical release?

[FunkyTown]

I dunno about everyone, since this isn't something guys will sit around and talk to other people about. I can only give my own experience, and I can say that I haven't had a wet dream for a very, very long time. Longer than I can remember, to be honest.

As for dreams about sex without the wet 'release'? Guys have them, too. I certainly do. I don't think you're responsible for what you dream about.

Otherwise, I'm going to be responsible for causing armageddon. I've definitely dreamed about that.

I'm pretty sure I've dreamed about doing bad things, but mostly I dream about flying. Demons are a recurring theme, too. I'd have to say I'm not responsible for those dreams.

so serious question lol

i've always heard the physical explanation for guys and wet dreams. there is no physical reason for women to have them. but girls have sexual dreams just like guys do. are the girls more accountable for their dreams than the guys cause there is a "reason" for theirs? why do girls have them? do wet dreams end after a guy no longer needs that form of physical release?

[Guest mirancs8]

I can't imagine a man could stop himself from having a wet dream but who am I to say I don't see it as a sin at all. It's natural for men to have wet dreams.

[Bini]

I agree with everyone else. I don't think you're held accountable for that stuff. I've killed people in some of the bizarre dreams that I've had and that seems far worse than sex. But Funky's armageddon totally trumps even that. I mean.. annihilating the entire world? Holy schmoly..

[Bini]

I can't imagine a man could stop himself from having a wet dream but who am I to say I don't see it as a sin at all. It's natural for men to have wet dreams.

Yeh don't know how common it is though. When I was married to my ex, he never had one. My husband and I have been together three years, he's never had one.

[Dravin]

Is that something you've specifically asked Bini? You may or may not have, but it wouldn't necessarily be known to you if he did have one (of course I'm not saying it would be impossible for you to notice). Actually even if you had asked its not necessarily something he'd admit. [This whole section is rhetorical in nature. I'm not looking for responses. It is just my way of pointing out he may not be inclined to announce them to you or admit them. Or of course it's possible your perception is indeed accurate.]

As far as the OP, nope. I don't feel guilty when I have a dream about stealing a car, being violent or any number of things that should I do them when awake would definitely classify as sinful. I don't see how sex would be a special case.

Edited October 17, 2010 by Dravin

[Guest mirancs8]

Yeh don't know how common it is though. When I was married to my ex, he never had one. My husband and I have been together three years, he's never had one.

Well, he may not have told you he had one. It's usually not an announcement he wakes you up in the middle of the night to tell you, "hey baby just wanted to wake you up and let you know that I had a wet dream." Then he cleans up, comes back to bed, give you a nice big wet one and goes back to sleep.

I think most of us women are in the middle of a dream session (you know laying on the beach waves crashing...) so we probably don't notice him slipping out of bed. Now it's another story if he's to tired to climb out of bed and in the excitement of it all decides he wants to spoon and you feel a something something... yeah you know what I'm getting at ladies

[Whynot]

If one goes to Leviticus you can find every sin listed. Can't say I've seen it listed there, or anywhere else in the Bible. Is it listed in the book of Mormon or D&C?

[Just_A_Guy]

No; in point of fact during one sermon recorded in the Book of Mormon the teacher (King Benjamin) tells his audience that there are too many sins for him to list, at least in that setting. See here.