I Wish I Could Stop Looking At These Message Boards

[pushka]

Hi everybody...well, it's 4.09am here in the UK and here I am again reading this message board, and occasionally tuning into Concerned Christians (not posting, just observing their remarks for contrast). I've been doing this today for most of the afternoon, evening and night!!

My daughter who is aware of my supposedly agnostic stance is quickly becoming convinced that I'm about to become some sort of Born Again Christian or LDS member!! LOL. I have to reassure her that this is not the case, but I do wish I could work out why religion (Christian in particular) has always been an obsession of mine.

Even when I was at a Catholic school and was sent to Lourdes on a pilgrimage I returned with an air of 'spirituality' which made other children at the school mock me, as I carried around my book of the story of St. Bernadette.

I don't feel as if I'm waiting for some great revelation that's gonna turn me back to Christianity/LDS beliefs, (I'm certainly not a clone of Joseph Smith in his search for the correct religion!), so what is it that makes me feel compulsed to return to these forums day after day, night after night?????

At least I haven't carried on tuning into Belief.net for the last year or so, but the idea keeps lurking that I may have to return there soon, to explore my religious roots (Catholicism, which I feel I know next to nothing about after having read some of the posts over there) and to explore other religions again too....

Oh my poor eyes...no wonder I've recently been given Reading Glasses by my optician....

[StrawberryFields]

so what is it that makes me feel compulsed to return to these forums day after day, night after night?????

Pushka,

I have thought about the same thing with message boards...basically they fulfil a need for some of us.

When is that need?

Loneliness?

Afraid to go outside?

Addicted to the computer?

Like to turn off people at will?

Have a multiple personality disorder?

We make friends here and want to hear how they are doing?

We like to hear ourselves "Talk" LOL

What do other's think?

[pushka]

Hi SF, thanks for your reply. I have felt many of the things you listed at one time or another. I suppose the thing that puzzles me the most is why it is specifically Religious message boards that I am attracted to, not just as an occasional thing, like a few times a week, or even once a day, but for hours on end virtually every day...

I have had interest in other message boards from time to time, music ones for instance, but even they have paled against my interest in the religious ones I've been visiting for the past 3 years...

Fortunately I have recently been introduced to a couple of centres in the UK where I can go out and meet more people and become skilled in other activities such as crafts and artwork, plus extending my computer skills but in company instead of alone...this has helped me to generally spend less time at home on my computer, at least during the day!!

[StrawberryFields]

I have had interest in other message boards from time to time, music ones for instance, but even they have paled against my interest in the religious ones I've been visiting for the past 3 years...

I forgot to say that you might come here looking for answers to questions and to feed your hungry spirit.

[Seraphim Moonshadow]

I admit to my addiction. I admit to my insanity. I admit that I could use more food. I admit posting is a relief. I admit this is keeping me from bed! Eh, I must just love you guys.

[shanstress70]

Hi Pushka,

I have been really interested in religion (all of them) for 10 years or so... my husband would say obsessed! Like you, I don't know why. I think my interest is more sociology than anything else, and MB's really let you see that side of it.

What makes people so sure of their beliefs, the path that led them to those beliefs, how religious beliefs add to one's life, how different people can be so sure of such differing beliefs, and how adamant people can be about them, etc.

However, as a side effect of this peering into others hearts, I have learned so much about my own spirituality and beliefs.

[Dr T]

Hello, I'm Dr. T. and I'm a webaholic.

[StrawberryFields]

Hello, I'm Dr. T. and I'm a webaholic.

I am too....Is there a place we should meet for meetings.

[Dr T]

Hey Strawberry,

I was trying to think of an on-line board where we can hold our meetings. (lol) I typed in "webaholic.com" and there is a site with that name! (it's for sale $2,300)

Let it be known that our first meeting was called to order at 9:06 am (Pacific Standard Time).

The first step:

We admitted we were powerless over message board posting--that our lives had become unmanageable.

[pushka]

LOL Dr T. Thanks for bringing some much needed humour into this thread.

I felt very silly and self conscious today when I woke up and thought about having made this thread. I was thinking about some of the things that SF mentioned, about being lonely, needing to hear oneself speak...perhaps that's why I've been posting more this week, the need to be heard. I feel very self indulgent because of this tho, and apologise to anyone who feels this thread is just a waste of bandwidth!

Shanstress, I think you might have hit the nail on the head about why I visit religious boards more than others...because they do go deeper into our psyche than other types of MB. I too am interested in sociology and psychology and I think, anthropology (although I haven't taken any lessons in that one!!) so religious message boards do cater to my thirst for knowledge and understanding of myself and others very much.

I think I was beginning to worry too much about the effect of visiting these message boards too much recently, because of my daughter's comments...perhaps I'm afraid of being drawn into a religious belief again? afraid of being afraid to live my life freely because I read so much about what God wants of us on these boards. Hope that helps to explain why I felt the need to address the subject at least.

Now, back to those webaholics.anonymous meetings...:)

[Dr T]

Hello Pushka,

...perhaps I'm afraid of being drawn into a religious belief again? afraid of being afraid to live my life freely because I read so much about what God wants of us on these boards.

Where you at one time "ultra-religious"? If so, what does that mean? Why is your daughter reacting to that? What do you mean by "afraid of being afraid to live my life freely?"

That's all the questions I have for this "Group meeting of WBPA (Wed Board Posters Anonymous)." :)

[StrawberryFields]

I still feel that there is no need to fret over this. I do believe that message boards serve their purpose. I am grateful to be able to hear my self speak on occasion.

I have found that if you believe that you are at the computer too much or others see that you need to make yourself take breaks and strike a balance. Balance is very important in our lives...without it, our lives feel out of wack.

Take time to step away and greet your life.

[pushka]

Hi Dr. T. I suppose I was seen as 'ultra-religious' during the years that I attended the LDS church, in that I tried my best to follow their practises much more than I did any of the RCC practises, that I was aware of. This annoyed some of my friends at school who thought I had become arrogant, and also my family who thought that I placed the church above them in importance. It is possible that I became obsessed with it, as I do tend to have an obsessional character.

I was speaking to my brother about this obsessional behaviour towards religion, politics, music and other interests that I've followed in the past, and he said it was obviously part of my make-up, but he seemed to be hinting that there might have been more to it than just obsessional behaviour as far as my religious activities were concerned, unfortunately our conversation was interrupted, we were speaking by phone, so he didn't get to finish his comments. I haven't had the courage to ring him about it since, and that is why it has been on my mind so much recently.

My daughter reacted the way she did because she's basically an agnostic/atheist herself. She has been brought up in the RCC, but never forced to attend church...we did attend occasionally when she was younger. Also she is aware that there are lots of teachings in religions that she and I both disagree with, such as the belief that homosexuality (the act) is sinful, and various other dubious, to us, teachings, so she would believe me to be hypocritical if I suddenly started preaching about Jesus or attending church and claiming to believe in the Bible and other scripture. I think that this covers the part about being afraid to live my life freely too, because if I was part of a religious organisation that condemned things that I thought were okay I would be very stressed, torn between their beliefs which I felt were okay for me and the ones I felt were not, and my need to commit completely if I was to attend any church in particular.

[shanstress70]

I think that this covers the part about being afraid to live my life freely too, because if I was part of a religious organisation that condemned things that I thought were okay I would be very stressed, torn between their beliefs which I felt were okay for me and the ones I felt were not, and my need to commit completely if I was to attend any church in particular.

Which is why you could always look for and choose a church that coincides with what you believe to OK or not OK. Easier said than done, I know, as I'm going through that task myself. (BTW, now it's looking like Methodist may be the best fit for me.)

Or you could just focus on your own beliefs and not worry about an official church or religion. I think God cares about what's in our hearts and how we treat others and try to make this world a better place... everything else is just 'fluff'.

[pushka]

Shanstress, I think again that you've hit the nail on the head about how I'd prefer to live my 'religious' life.

I do have respect for many of the teachings in the Bible, and some LDS teachings too, and for Jesus, and I do try to incorporate much of this belief/attitude into the way I view the world, respond to people and events...although I do have a rather cynical side to me occasionally which is out to cause trouble!!

Thanks for your useful comments everybody, you've made me think through this dilemma very much today.

[BenRaines]

Christian or otherwise if we all lived the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" The world would be a much better place.

Ben Raines

[shanstress70]

Christian or otherwise if we all lived the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" The world would be a much better place.

Ben Raines

Soooo true, Ben!

[pushka]

I agree too Ben!

[thebomb7652000]

I agree also.

[Ray]

Or we could also follow the Platinum Rule:

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

[Dr T]

I've never heard that before, Ray. Is that yours or common? I might be more out of it than I thought...

[pushka]

Or we could also follow the Platinum Rule:

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

Hmmm, living in the 'real world' that could easily be abused I think...just thinking of somebody saying 'well he wanted me to do it to him, so I did'. Perhaps I'm being cynical again! LOL. B)

Hey! I can use the full posting facilities again...my pc is being nice to me at last!!! Yippeee...

[StrawberryFields]

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Or we could also follow the Platinum Rule:

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

Hmmm, living in the 'real world' that could easily be abused I think...just thinking of somebody saying 'well he wanted me to do it to him, so I did'. Perhaps I'm being cynical again! LOL. B)

Hey! I can use the full posting facilities again...my pc is being nice to me at last!!! Yippeee...

We could learn to be "In the world" not "Of the world" :)

[Ray]

I've never heard that before, Ray. Is that yours or common? I might be more out of it than I thought...

I heard that “rule” from an instructor I once had in a class on Customer Service, and he was relating it to the way we should work with people in all the communications we have with them.

And basically he was trying to help us to see that we should be trying speak to people on their level, instead of simply telling them things we see and might take for granted at our level.

Or in other words, in what were called “Moments of Truth”, different people perceive things differently, and they also have different expectations and reasons for perceiving and wanting their "needs". So what we should do is help them to see the things they can do at their level, while offering the things we can help them to get or help them to see at our level.

And btw, the instructor also made it very clear, as we already knew, there are times when we have to say "No", but even then we should be trying to help them to see the reasons we cannot "agree".

[Dror]

Well, now, there are worse things than becoming a "Jesus freak."