Forgiving Self

[Lindy]

I know that we are told to forgive others....it's a part of who we are as Christians.

Even when we can forgive others ...... how can we forgive ourselves? If repentance isn't required, but we still beat ourselves up over something.... how do we get past that?

[Dror]

*sigh*

Lindy, I wish I knew the answer to that one. Forgiving myself is one of the hardest things for me, too. And yet, God is our judge, not us--we should leave the judging up to Him. Easier said than done, of course (wry smile).

Keep in mind that God loves you. You are His child, and He wants only the best for you. He is very merciful.

Dror

[prisonchaplain]

how can we forgive ourselves? If repentance isn't required, but we still beat ourselves up over something.... how do we get past that?

Before we can love others meaningfully and powerfully, we need to be filled to overflowing with God's love. My love is weak, self-serving and manipulative. The fruit of the Spirit--that's the kind of love worth sharing! Likewise with forgiveness. If I'm in deep despair over my own actions, I seek the face of God and ask Him to reveal the power of his forgiveness to me--to let me sense it, taste it, truly know it. BTW, once I've seen God's forgiveness of me, and then embraced it as my own true reality, I will find it much easier to forgive others--with his forgiveness.

[Lindy]

Thanks Dror.... I know I depend on His mercy sometimes

Thanks PC...... My main problem is I do love others........ because of God's overpowering love for all. I forgive others before I can forgive myself. It's just been compounding lately... and .... yeah.

[Guest Monica]

While you are busy unforgiving yourself, after God has forgiven you, you are too distracted to do the things that God needs you to do. Remember He is building a kingdom and needs every worker possible. Just learn from it and move on.

[Lindy]

While you are busy unforgiving yourself, after God has forgiven you, you are too distracted to do the things that God needs you to do. Remember He is building a kingdom and needs every worker possible. Just learn from it and move on.

You know Monica.... even with problems of unforgiving self... I was always there to help if needed. I'm not a slacker... and I know there is work to be done. Actually, I feel more at peace with myself now than I have in a long time; a lot of inner strength I haven't had in a long time.... I have some good friends who help get me thru a lot. Friends... true friends who don't abandon you when things get rough. Gotta love em! Thanks for the concern though... .....I have learned a lot ..... and it is time to move on.... and keep that peace and inner strength I found within :)

[Josie]

Lindy,

Forgiveness of self is sometimes the hardest forgiveness of all. We generally are the most critical of ourselves and don't seem to know when to let go. You can see that I include myself in that "we".

A dear friend taught me that a part of repentance is to forgive ourselves. If we truly repent, God has blotted out the sin from his view and we need to blot it out from our own view. We remember our mistakes so we can do our best to not repeat them, but there is nothing we can do about the past, but do better in the future. We cannot change a thing in the past, so we have to leave the past in the past and go forward, rather than dwelling in the past and letting it harm the future.

We are taught that we are devine sons and daughters of God. God knew that we would make mistakes. That was the whole idea of putting us on the earth. So we could learn by our mistakes. That is the whole point, is for us to learn and then do it no more. That is what makes us better people.

Part of us learning to love is us learning to love ourselves. When we can love ourselves and accept ourselves as children of our Father in Heaven, then we will have much more love for others. We also find that the more we do for others, the more we love ourselves and the more we can forgive our faults and mistakes and put them in God's hands.

In Oct. 2005 Conference, Elder Bateman gave a wonderful talk on the Atonement and talked about how Christ has felt our pains, our sorrows, as well as the sins we have committed. It was a wonderful talk that taught me much about the Atonement. Christ has already been through it for us, and knows exactly how we feel and think.

This same friend told me that if I truly believed in the gospel and had a testimony of it, I would accept my divinity as a daughter of God, and be willing to love myself and forgive myself, and allow myself to progress and move forward.

The friend said it much better than I am here, but I hope I atleast got the idea across.

[Dr T]

Hi Lindy,

Psalm 103:8-17 The LORD [is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep [his anger] for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, [so] great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we [are] dust. [As for] man, his days [are] as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the LORD [is] from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

You raise a very good question. That's all I'm going to say.

Dr. T

[Traveler]

I know that we are told to forgive others....it's a part of who we are as Christians.

Even when we can forgive others ...... how can we forgive ourselves? If repentance isn't required, but we still beat ourselves up over something.... how do we get past that?

Become more involved in service.

The Traveler