Maturity

[M98Ranger]

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:31-32

There is a lot of good information in the scriptures about how to be "mature." But how does one know when our children have become mature and more importantly how do we as parents help to get them to that point. I would love to hear you-alls opinion on it and especially if you can locate words of wisdom from other smart people before you to collaberate what you say I think it would be very beneficial. (Sources outside of the church are welcome as well obviously, as quotes from apostles and prophets...don't feel like you have to reasearch though. Some of us are busier at times then others. I just thought it would help us to widen the knowledge pool a bit find some sources outside our own minds.)

To start us off, Elder Marvin J. Ashton once said, "Personal conduct is the only true measurement of maturity."

I would say that I am not sure who in a family relationship has the authority to declare someone as mature or an adult. However, it wouldn't make sense to me that self-declaration is the key. Having a teenager or such claim independence or maturity by virtue of their age is in my opinion kind of laughable: (case and point, the age old "I am an adult now." phrase that is often cited as their ticket to being treated as an adult). But if the responsponsibility for claiming maturity doesn't rest with the indidivual then on whom does the responsibility lie?

I think that the answer to the question lies in the constant looking and acknowledgement for positive choices made throughout the childs life. As the child is given the opportunity to make choices and then given encouragement for the positive that comes out of those choices, the self esteem of the child increases and the child is set on a path to make more positive choices. I think that to the individual "achieving maturity" is more of a level of "self-esteem" for ones ability to make adult choices then a "Title" given once you achieve a certain age.

I could go on, but I am going to try to bite my tounge to give others a chance to get a word or two in.

[ALatterDaySaint]

You will know "by their fruit".

Do they yeild mature fruit for their age? Ahead of their age? Or no. That is how you tell if your child is mature. They will behave maturly. I dont get why this is so hard. Seems pretty point blank to me.

[shanstress70]

I have to wonder why you want to deem your child 'mature' or 'immature'. IMO, there are no hard and fast rules. It is a gradual process. Is there a specific decision to be made regarding your child's maturity or lack thereof? I'm usually not in favor of labels.

[prisonchaplain]

There is a lot of good information in the scriptures about how to be "mature." But how does one know when our children have become mature and more importantly how do we as parents help to get them to that point.

I was going to wait until I was mature to get married, but at 31, decided I'd better just go ahead. I could always wait until I grew up to have children.

At 35 I realized THAT wasn't going to happen, so we went ahead and started having them. Now, six years later, I know how to recognize that a 'child' is mature. It's when they have their own children to raise, and are forced to live as an example before them.

[M98Ranger]

All true and good comments. I was just thinking about how parents often want to protect their children or shield their children from being hurt based on the claim that they don't "think that their children are "mature" enough to make the choices themselves". Hence to some parents in the church and out, the issue of how to tell whether one's child can be trusted to make the right decision is particularly poignant as it pertains to child rearing.

[Guest Monica]

sign of maturity:

1Cr 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

[prisonchaplain]

sign of maturity:

1Cr 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

If maturity means putting away childish things, would old age be when you start taking them out again?

[Royalohh]

I can think of many "ADULTS" that do not act as mature as my 14 yr old so I think maturity is really something we gain with time I look back at some of the things i said an did in my mid to early twenties and think I must have been the most immature person around. I look at my Daughter and I would put her up against any other child her age no problem in most cases but there are just SO many things out there and no way for me to help her prepare for them all and I think we as a people tend to fall back on the more immature side of our nature when we are faced with new and unfamiliar things.

I guess what I am trying to say is I don't know when they are if there is a magical age when one minute your immature and the next mature but we have about 18 years or so to prepare them the best we can.

[Lindy]

sign of maturity:

1Cr 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Good thing I never became a man. I still like the childish things......

ohhh PC

Now, six years later, I know how to recognize that a 'child' is mature. It's when they have their own children to raise, and are forced to live as an example before them

I think you may have nailed that one.... it's amazing how fast some "grow up" when they have that responsibility.....

[Marsha]

At 35 I realized THAT wasn't going to happen, so we went ahead and started having them. Now, six years later, I know how to recognize that a 'child' is mature. It's when they have their own children to raise, and are forced to live as an example before them.

Even having children doesn't always mean maturity. I have a married son, with an 1yr old son. Not so mature in my eyes. He still calls wanting/needing help. He makes 3x the money that my 19 yo daughter does. She pays her own bills and never asks for help. No she isn't married, nor has any children BUT has her own apartment (1st) one. I know what she makes, she works for me! :)

She and I have bought all but ONE outfit for the baby, and also duplicated his toys, furniture etc so that he doesn't go without. Maybe that is one of the problems. We have made it too easy. Sad but true.

Marsha

[Ray]

I believe we won't ever be fully mature until we're exactly like God.

And despite what some of us choose to believe here, we still have a LONG way to go...

... except for those of us who are already there, but nobody here is there.

And btw, there is nothing at all wrong with being a child, but somehow being "childish" is bad???

And yes I do know what some people mean, but it still gives good children a bad rep.

[Lindy]

And btw, there is nothing at all wrong with being a child, but somehow being "childish" is bad???

And yes I do know what some people mean, but it still gives good children a bad rep.

Depends on who's acting "childish"....lol

I think we all need to keep that child inside of us.... it helps clear the cloudy days.

But acting childish has to have it's place and time....

[M98Ranger]

I can think of many "ADULTS" that do not act as mature as my 14 yr old so I think maturity is really something we gain with time I look back at some of the things i said an did in my mid to early twenties and think I must have been the most immature person around. I look at my Daughter and I would put her up against any other child her age no problem in most cases but there are just SO many things out there and no way for me to help her prepare for them all and I think we as a people tend to fall back on the more immature side of our nature when we are faced with new and unfamiliar things.

I guess what I am trying to say is I don't know when they are if there is a magical age when one minute your immature and the next mature but we have about 18 years or so to prepare them the best we can.

I really agree with your comment. Thanks.....