LDSChristian Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 Just so you know, this is about a girl I dated before, not the one I'm dating now. I just thought it would be interesting to share. Ok I graduated back in 09 and this happened earlier that year. Just thought it would be interesting to share. So me and this girl (she was a sophomore & I was a senior but she was 16 & I was 17) & we were in the other room of our JROTC class so I could get her stuff for her uniform because I was an upperclassman. Anyway she made sure I knew her bf broke up with her and that there was a guy she liked but wouldn't look at me when she said it so I kind of got the hint. After we walked out of that room I asked if she wanted to go to a movie sometime. My intention was to go to a movie so we could hang out and see how it worked out. She was grounded that weekend so we couldn't but that's not really the point. Anyway, that Monday, she came up to me with 2 of her girlfriends & gave me a big hug and looked at them and said "This is my boyfriend." I was like "Um, hey". And I was thinking "Did I actually ask her to be my gf?" And I realized I didn't really ask her that, I just asked her to hang out to see how it would work. So I ended up having a girlfriend without either one of us actually asking each other out. It lasted from Feb. of 09 til Aug. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 Teenage puppy love. Very temporary, very naive, very childish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 A guy asked me to go bowling with him years ago after I moved to Provo. I met him that morning and thought it was just a friendly invite, but he showed up with flowers, tried to force me to hold his hand, and later told me, "You don't know it yet, but you have a boyfriend." I responded by not going on another date with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 A guy asked me to go bowling with him years ago after I moved to Provo. I met him that morning and thought it was just a friendly invite, but he showed up with flowers, tried to force me to hold his hand, and later told me, "You don't know it yet, but you have a boyfriend." I responded by not going on another date with him.Him: You don't know it yet, but you have a boyfriend.You: Of course I know that! Mike is great, once you get past the prison tats, how do you know him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 Oh man, that situation was so bad. I had been there less than a week, the guy came over to clean our carpets in our apartment, and I found out we had a mutual friend. He was from my area. He was friendly enough, but then I found myself at a restaurant wanting to crawl out the bathroom window if they had one. That was before everyone had cell phones, I didn't have my brother's number with me, and I didn't know my way around town. Nightmare. To make things worse, he knew my roommates were out of town. I spent the next 3 days hiding at my brother's place until I moved into my new place. Then I saw him on the bus a couple months later and jumped off at the next stop. I had to walk another 45 minutes, but it was worth it. Worst. Date. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeattleTruthSeeker Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 Here is one for you! I met this lady online at one of those LDS Dating sites. We talked on IM and then phone. One night, we were talking on the phone and I asked her to send me a picture. She did, and it was one of those group pictures. Well, I proceeded to ask which one of the gal's she was in the picture. She told me. I was instantly attracted to her and said "I can work with that," We set the date and I showed up. While sitting at an Ihop, her phone rang and she answered saying something to the effect that everything was okay. Later on, I found out it was a "courtesy date" because I had tweaked her nose by saying "I can work with that" and she had had a friend call her to pretend that she was going into labor and the gal would bail on me. This was back in 2006. It is now 2011 and we are married, serving as Sunday School teachers and we have a 15 month old. Our joke, the courtesy date turned into a courtesy relationship, then a courtesy marriage lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 Here is one for you! I met this lady online at one of those LDS Dating sites. We talked on IM and then phone. One night, we were talking on the phone and I asked her to send me a picture. She did, and it was one of those group pictures. Well, I proceeded to ask which one of the gal's she was in the picture. She told me. I was instantly attracted to her and said "I can work with that," We set the date and I showed up. While sitting at an Ihop, her phone rang and she answered saying something to the effect that everything was okay. Later on, I found out it was a "courtesy date" because I had tweaked her nose by saying "I can work with that" and she had had a friend call her to pretend that she was going into labor and the gal would bail on me. This was back in 2006. It is now 2011 and we are married, serving as Sunday School teachers and we have a 15 month old. Our joke, the courtesy date turned into a courtesy relationship, then a courtesy marriage lol.Wow. That's crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 LDS Christian, It is just pure teen hormones. Most kids don't get over it until well into their 20s or 30s. The best you can do is not date seriously until after your mission, and spend the time right now studying and learning about how relationships actually work - so you don't accidentally end up married to someone you just met! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 LDS Christian,It is just pure teen hormones. Most kids don't get over it until well into their 20s or 30s.The best you can do is not date seriously until after your mission, and spend the time right now studying and learning about how relationships actually work - so you don't accidentally end up married to someone you just met! :)Is "hormones" your answer for everything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulsearcher Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Is "hormones" your answer for everything?LOL not sure they are the answer for everything but sure do seem the cause of lots of things. Again respectfully, you really do have to look at the people who are responding. You may not like the answers or the tone, but remember that the people answering you in general are close to twice, if not more, your age. Parents, grandparents, people who've had a vast quantity of life and first hand experience. I know it's hard to listen cause you don't want to be like the rest, you want to be better, the one who can't be tempted or can't fall, but in reality you are human, you have hormones and they can very easily overcome good judgment on any number of things. You are left with a choice. Remember that most of the advice given to you lines up really close if not exactly to that which many prophets and GA's have said and quit being angry and rebelling against the people who care enough to try and keep you on god's path, or keep getting angry and insulted(where no insult is intended) and let all the good advice and informed view points go to waste. It is your choice, just make the best of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Is "hormones" your answer for everything?*facepalm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 *facepalm*Better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Is "hormones" your answer for everything?It pretty much is for kids at your age, who definitely show they are making decisions without gray matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) It pretty much is for kids at your age, who definitely show they are making decisions without gray matter.Actually I'm not sure his example was so much hormones as it was teenage politics and flightiness. But I suppose the argument could be made hormones had a role in that. What happened after that (until the August) was probably heavily influenced by hormones though, but we aren't told anything about it.For what it's worth even many older relationships go through a hormonal phase of infatuation, teenagers and young adults have a tendency to crank that up to 11. Or maybe it's just not being able to crank the gray matter side of the equation side (cognitive abilities to predict long term consequences are still developing until something like 25 IIRC). My second date with my now fiancée was an endowment session and without concious thought to counter the emotional roller coaster I'd probably have started going on about how I received a sign to marry her because I was all giddy over her during the session (and beyond). Which is the kind of behaviour teens are famous for. Edited February 28, 2011 by Dravin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Actually I'm not sure his example was so much hormones as it was teenage politics and flightiness. But I suppose the argument could be made hormones had a role in that. What happened after that (until the August) was probably heavily influenced by hormones though, but we aren't told anything about it.For what it's worth even many older relationships go through a hormonal phase of infatuation, teenagers and young adults have a tendency to crank that up to 11. Or maybe it's just not being able to crank the gray matter side of the equation side (cognitive abilities to predict long term consequences are still developing until something like 25 IIRC). My second date with my now fiancée was an endowment session and without concious thought to counter the emotional roller coaster I'd probably have started going on about how I received a sign to marry her because I was all giddy over her during the session (and beyond). Which is the kind of behaviour teens are famous for.However, you have the advantage of experience to temper your hormonal urges. You could sit there in an endowment session, get all giddy, and when you're done with the session and the overt giddiness, you can analyze if this is the best thing for you based on past relationships and how you want to proceed based on what your realistic goals are, if it fits in your life's plan, if it works with your lifestyle, and if not one or all are a fit, are you willing, able and even want to make any changes to your goals and plans.A teenager doesn't have that advantage. They only have hormones, a still developing brain and what they want. Very little to temper it with. Which is why they are advised to be very careful and selective in who, how and where they date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) However, you have the advantage of experience to temper your hormonal urges. You could sit there in an endowment session, get all giddy, and when you're done with the session and the overt giddiness, you can analyze if this is the best thing for you based on past relationships and how you want to proceed based on what your realistic goals are, if it fits in your life's plan, if it works with your lifestyle, and if not one or all are a fit, are you willing, able and even want to make any changes to your goals and plans.A teenager doesn't have that advantage. They only have hormones, a still developing brain and what they want. Very little to temper it with. Which is why they are advised to be very careful and selective in who, how and where they date.Oh I agree. That's what I was getting at by my comments about cranking up hormones to 11 or cranking up the gray matter to compensate. I'm just saying that it isn't just a hormonal issue as adults have hormones too, it's hormones combined with underdeveloped brakes so to speak. Edited February 28, 2011 by Dravin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted March 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 It pretty much is for kids at your age, who definitely show they are making decisions without gray matter.So you're saying older people have absolutely no problem with hormones at all? I know a married couple in our ward that has an open marriage. They've been married for more than 20 years. You say they don't have hormone problems because of their age? Hormones isn't an age thing, it's in everyone, you included. No, hormones is not the reason for every teenager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 So you're saying older people have absolutely no problem with hormones at all? I know a married couple in our ward that has an open marriage. They've been married for more than 20 years. You say they don't have hormone problems because of their age? Hormones isn't an age thing, it's in everyone, you included. No, hormones is not the reason for every teenager. Can you define the bolded for me? How is their marriage open? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulsearcher Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Can you define the bolded for me? How is their marriage open?Usually refers to a marriage that is not monogamous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted March 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Can you define the bolded for me? How is their marriage open?They date other people while being married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 I am saying that kids especially have struggles with hormones. That is when the hormones begin raging (and with some, never end). The portions of the brain for proper decision making do not fully develop until a person is about 25 years of age on average. So you have raging hormones and the inability to make a decision, and the results can often be disastrous. That is why the term "puppy love" has long been a term used for youth. It is also why so many marriages formed when kids are very young have a much larger chance to end in divorce - because they are not mature enough.Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ~Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses, 1910Dravin suggested it may be teen politics. However, he did not note that teen politics are all about raging hormones. And as others and I have noted, with an under developed brain at their disposal, they are not as capable of making correct decisions. And when things go wrong, they tend to break out in bigger emotional outrage than adults.Sadly, many adults do not develop their brains, either. And so they continue behaving as teens do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 So you're saying older people have absolutely no problem with hormones at all? I know a married couple in our ward that has an open marriage. They've been married for more than 20 years. You say they don't have hormone problems because of their age? Hormones isn't an age thing, it's in everyone, you included. No, hormones is not the reason for every teenager.Sounds to me less like a problem with hormones and more like a case of stupid. But that's sometimes the issue with teenagers, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted March 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Sounds to me less like a problem with hormones and more like a case of stupid. But that's sometimes the issue with teenagers, too.As well as older people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 (edited) However, he did not note that teen politics are all about raging hormones..Well, I did note hormones are/can be an aspect of it: But I suppose the argument could be made hormones had a role in that. Edited March 1, 2011 by Dravin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JustAnotherGirl Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 So you're saying older people have absolutely no problem with hormones at all? I know a married couple in our ward that has an open marriage. They've been married for more than 20 years. You say they don't have hormone problems because of their age? Hormones isn't an age thing, it's in everyone, you included. No, hormones is not the reason for every teenager.Haha. You have a good point. I've been married for over 15 years and hormones STILL cause problems! AK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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