switching wards?

[Backroads]

I never said that I dont believe the church is true but why would anyone want to be apart of an organization where someone in power treats you in such a way?

My wife a a very recent convert, I know she believes in the church and before this whole mess happened she had a very high opinion of this man. however, she has issues with trust (like a lot of us do) and this incident and how the stake presidency has handled it has caused her to lose that trust. I think we all know that trust, once lost, is very hard to regain.

I don't think it's the organization's fault or intent that someone in power would do what they did.

I think your wife needs to decide if she has a testimony of the gospel or of the organization of the church with its people.

[Guest saintish]

I don't think it's the organization's fault or intent that someone in power would do what they did.

regardless if its their fault or not, it is the duty of the organization to rectify the situation fairly or they implicitly support the action of the individual.

[Backroads]

regardless if its their fault or not, it is the duty of the organization to rectify the situation fairly or they implicitly support the action of the individual.

So is this a church thing or a spiritual thing?

[Guest saintish]

like i said before i have never questioned the doctrine of the church. I dont agree with how the issue has been handled at the local level. the question becomes what does one do when they no longer trust the judgment of the local authorities but still believes the capital C Church is true.

[Backroads]

All right, though I worry about your wife. Yeah, I think changing wards would be for the best.

[Guest saintish]

believe me I do to. I pray that this wont ruin her testimony and drive her away from the church completely. All i can really do is move forward with faith the best way i know how.

[MorningStar]

If your wife has a temper, someone will tick her off in the other ward and if you're denied the exception, that might make her more angry. I don't know what your living situation is, but you might be better off moving if it's that bad.

[Guest saintish]

thats the long term plan but we are stuck in a lease for another 6 months.

[mnn727]

Again, what would Christ have you and your wife do?

[Guest saintish]

Again, what would Christ have you and your wife do?

well since i dont believe this issue is addressed specifically in the scriptures or in revelation i can only speculate and wait for personal revelation. I have searched out an answer in my own mind. For the time being at least, going to a different ward seems to be the best resolution and one that feels best.

[Madriglace]

OK how to say this so I don't get my face chewed off ... basically what matters here is not the leader and what ever it is he has done. That will be dealt with by much much higher authority .. maybe not in a way or time frame that you might like but never fear it will be handled. What truly matters here is how you and your wife handle yourselves.

To me first would be forgiveness ... hard thing when you have been wronged but if you harbor the resentment it only hurts you ... this guy could obviously care less. Look to your own salvation .. forgive him and move on .. that way you make sure that the problem is not with you.

Next would be to be willing and joyful about bending to the will of the Father ... you live within a ward boundary ... this is where your leaders are, let them fill their callings ... discontinue the jerk and move forward in faith where you are. Life isn't easy, we were never promised it would be but if we live our lives as we know we should and endure to the end and do it well ... WOW! We need to take the higher path in all we do. We have the prime example .. the Savior was obedient in all things .. can we be any less?

If you have carefully prayed and listened and feel that you need to be out of the ward ... then do it the right way ... don't just leave. Obedieance is the key to everything ... no matter how hard it gets if we are obedient we will be blessed and prosper.

Never ever let anyone stand in the path of your salvation ... especially not yourself.

[The_Phoenix]

Ok, so the Church is not true because one guy was a jerk?

Did your wife have a testimony of the Gospel or of the High Councilor?

I'm sorry, but there are going to be people in every situation (Church, job, school, neighborhood, etc.) that are jerks that do something wrong.

Why would you let them control your attitude and possibly even your exaltation?

Was he wrong? yes.

So what would Christ tell you to do?

Pray for the grace to forgive, but it can be a hard thing to do. Besides who listens to HC's anyway?

[The_Phoenix]

If your wife has a temper, someone will tick her off in the other ward and if you're denied the exception, that might make her more angry. I don't know what your living situation is, but you might be better off moving if it's that bad.

When someone is hurt or offended, switching Wards usually does not ease the pain. MorningStar you are correct in your advice before. She needs to stay and forgive. Those with whom we worship will be in heaven with us hopefully as well. We would not think of changing heavens.

[mnn727]

well since i dont believe this issue is addressed specifically in the scriptures or in revelation i can only speculate and wait for personal revelation. I have searched out an answer in my own mind. For the time being at least, going to a different ward seems to be the best resolution and one that feels best.

You don't believe Christ would tell you to forgive?

Come on, you can't be serious?

[Wingnut]

Something about turning the other cheek?

[Guest saintish]

You don't believe Christ would tell you to forgive?

Come on, you can't be serious?

forgiveness and wanting to be around someone are two different things i believe.

[Guest saintish]

Something about turning the other cheek?

i remember watching a very interesting documentary on that very subject. some scholars believe that Jesus meant that you should bring someone down to your level and not let them slap you again. it had to do with the whole right hand dominant thing and that in order to slap someone on the right you would backhand them but if they were to slap you on the left it would be a palm slap which meant you were there equal... now back to your regularly scheduled program.

[Guest]

forgiveness and wanting to be around someone are two different things i believe.

Yes. But, I don't think it goes to the extent of needing to move out of a ward family. Not in your particular case anyway. I mean, avoiding them at the halls, avoiding being put in charge of the same activities, or something to that extent, maybe.

I mean, if your daughter was sexually molested by some guy in the ward, then yeah, I would move out of the ward in a quickness, forgiveness or no.

[Guest saintish]

this is part of what makes it so difficult for me because personally i would have no problem going to the same ward. I think it would make him more uncomfortable than me. However its not just about me. My wife WILL NOT go to the same ward as him, be it her stubbornness or temper or whatever. that being the case i think it is best that we go to a different ward and let her learn to forgive in her own time (as she is definitely the most innocent one in this case) then not go to church at all.

[Jennarator]

I grew up in a ward where my ex-aunt lived. I knew what happened and all the lies she told my cousins (her and my uncle's kids.) That was hard, but is wasn't anything to move out of the ward over. My mom was even RS pres and they were really not getting along. When my mom was called to be RS pres the first thing the bishop asked was is that going to be ok knowing she would have to be RS pres with my ex aunt in the ward. Things got tense but we survived, knowing what lies were going on and knowing what gossip she was spreading. Funny thing I live in a different stat, now, and moving into her ward! Life is strange, but we live with it. Forgive, and don't let the hard feeling dwell in your heart.

[MorningStar]

One thing you need to consider is people are going to probably ask you in your new ward why you don't go to the one in your boundaries. What will you say? Will you guys repeat the story and allow it to fester? For you to have home teachers and visiting teachers, someone will have to go out of their boundaries to do that for you. I think this should only be done in extreme cases like abuse.

[Guest saintish]

Actually we live right across the road from the ward boundary. we have been going to the other ward for a few sundays and no one has questioned where we live or asked what ward we are 'supposed' to be in. If it ever came up I suppose i would say that there was a conflict with a member of our assigned ward and leave it at that. Its not really anyones business why we go to the ward we go to.

[mnn727]

Sorry, I just don't see it. Forgiving the guy doesn't mean you have to be buddies.

What he did while wrong was not life threatening: nobody has cancer, nobody is bleeding and the fire department is not on its way.

Time for your wife to learn to forgive and get on with her life.

[Guest saintish]

Sorry, I just don't see it. Forgiving the guy doesn't mean you have to be buddies.

What he did while wrong was not life threatening: nobody has cancer, nobody is bleeding and the fire department is not on its way.

Time for your wife to learn to forgive and get on with her life.

so what do i do in the mean time? do you honestly think its fair for me to force her to go to a place where she doesn't feel comfortable? we all have our own issues and i don't think anyone has the right to force us to address them on anyone else's time table except our own.

this thread has spiraled off topic if anyone recall the original thread was asking how/ whats involved in switching wards and not what my motivations are for switching.

let me lay out the bottom line for everyone who has a comment about my motivations and not the original topic. We are NOT going to the same ward as that man, we will do one of three thing: 1. be switched to another ward, 2. go to another ward without having our records transferred there, or 3. not go to church at all until 1 or two are possible.

If you would like to comment on that fine. its an open forum but as far as im concerned i've got an answer to my ORIGINAL question and have no further need to hear people comment on what is or isnt a big deal to THEM, since you have not been in the situation.

[Dravin]

do you honestly think its fair for me to force her to go to a place where she doesn't feel comfortable?

She's your wife not your child, why would you force her? She's a grown woman capable of making her own decisions.