Havinghope09 Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 I have been stuggling with what to do about my situation and was hoping posting this would help... Last year during the spring, I decided to come back to church, to become active again as I had been inactive my whole 4 years of highschool. My dad is not a member but my mother is and we had been going since i was about 15 years old, then she became inactive causing me to be as well. I went through high school without knowing the significance of keeping the law of chastity, temple marriage and so on. I broke the law of chastity while i was in high school with a guy that had a huge grasp on me mentally, he was a horrible person and I did not know how to control the situation, being young, niave and also not having a firm grasp on the significance of chastity, being that I had been inactive those crucial years of my life. Now that i am active in the church, I have been attending church for the past year, I have been praying and reading my scriptures and have grown a close relationship with my heavenly father, I am now deeply regretting my past. seeing my fellow members in my ward so pure and getting ready to be married in the temple, I feel so guilty and hopeless knowing that I can not enter into the temple because of my past. Is there a possibility that I can have a temple marriage after seeing the bishop and going through the repentance process? I am more than willing to go through the repentance process and gain worthiness to enter the temple, but my main concern is will that be possible to acheive? Being surrounded by so many good people in my ward, and going on dates with return missionaries, and being surrounded by their Spirit, I have come to see how significant it is to marry in the temple to a worthy preisthood holder and I want that for myself. Everyone at church makes me a better person and Im glad I have gotten my life together I just hope I can acheive a temple marriage and be worthy again..... Please help... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetiepie Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Yes! Of course you can! The atonement and repentance cleanses you and will make you just as "pure" as all those girls you are seeing. So proud of you for coming back on your own and understanding how important marrying in the temple is for your future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 · Hidden Hidden No question -- you can. And the fact that you were so young at the time is a point in your favor. I say take this opportunity to confess, get it off your chest, and look forward to a new life. That's what the atonment and life is all about. The gospel requires sacrifices and you've made one of the more important ones -- giving up something you did in the past and changing your heart. Go for it -- you have a bright future with a clean life ahead of you for the taking. Link to comment
applepansy Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 I Is there a possibility that I can have a temple marriage after seeing the bishop and going through the repentance process?I am more than willing to go through the repentance process and gain worthiness to enter the temple, but my main concern is will that be possible to acheive?Yes!!! of course you can have all those things you want. Nobody is perfect even if they appear to be from the outside. We all make mistakes and have something to repent of. Christ makes it possible to repent and become clean. Take advantage of the atonement. Talk to your bishop. This will not be as hard as you fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Yes. You have nothing to be scared of. Youre gonna be fine. You will feel much better afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havinghope09 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Will I be put on pobation at all? Like Not able to take the sacrament or be released from my calling as an activity co chair in my ward? After I talk to the bishop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Will I be put on pobation at all? Like Not able to take the sacrament or be released from my calling as an activity co chair in my ward? After I talk to the bishopThat is up to the bishop. In your favor, you were young, you've been back at church, you want to repent, you learned why being chase is important.No matter what the imediate outcome, you will be rid of guilt and find joy in the process and find a new and grateful love for Christ and all he has done to make repentance possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havinghope09 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 So should I not go out on any dates with return missionaries until I repent of my sins ? Or should I in order to look forward to something? Suggestions and advice needed please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Don't let the repentance process stop you from dating. See the Bishop ASAP, so you will feel better about things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Yes and good for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havinghope09 Posted April 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Has anyone else struggled with this? Will my bishop judge me and tel his counselors ? Will return missionaries think it is a turn off if I ever do plan on marrying one, and would I need to tell them about my past? Thank you for all your advice by the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Has anyone else struggled with this?Yes, the Church is big enough I doubt people are dealing with issues that at least one other person hasn't dealt with, or at least dealt with something similar.Will my bishop judge me and tel his counselors ?Well technically it's his job to judge you, but something tells me that's not what you mean. He shouldn't judge you in the sense you are implying but people are imperfect. As far as telling his counselors, he could certainly enlist their aid which would require some amount of information sharing such as you are striving to get temple worthy at the moment and could use some extra fellowship or something. It's not like he should be gossiping with them about you though.Will return missionaries think it is a turn off if I ever do plan on marrying one, and would I need to tell them about my past?Missionaries are not some monolithic group that all of them think and act the same way. Some will have their own issues with it and some won't. I would imagine over the course of get to know you required for getting married it would become known you spent time inactive and have since reactivated. I would also imagine that you would get a sense of violating the Law of Chastity in the past is a deal breaker for them as you get to know them, if it is something that they are going to have a problem with and break-up with you hiding it isn't the way to go, find someone who wants you as you are (someone who has been made pure through the atonement of Christ, I'm not implying you are damaged goods and need to find someone who will settle with you). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Do you need to tell any RM you might date about your past... No not at first. The more serious a relationship gets the more important it becomes though, because it is a factor that you don't want coming up after you get married and realize it is a deal breaker. And yes some RM might call it off once they know. But I also have a 14 year old marriage that is going strong as proof that some RM can deal with it and move with getting married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havinghope09 Posted April 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 How long do you think the bishop will make me refrain from certain things in the church? Also, do you think since i was young and was inactive and was not living with teachings of the gospel, and did not live with the teachings of the law of chastity that it will be different for me that of someone who was actively going to church ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 How long do you think the bishop will make me refrain from certain things in the church? Also, do you think since i was young and was inactive and was not living with teachings of the gospel, and did not live with the teachings of the law of chastity that it will be different for me that of someone who was actively going to church ?It'll be different for each person. We aren't your Bishop, we don't know the details of your situation (and we don't particularly want to know the details of your past transgressions) nor are we entitled to revelation to know what you need on the road to repentance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 The bishop's job is to help people truly and sincerely repent. It is not to punish people. When you go to the bishop he will take everything he knows about you, about what you've told him, the severity of the sin and mixed it in with the spirit to ask himself is this a person showing signs of true and sincere repentance? Depending on that answer he will then do what he can to help the process along. In your case you went from an inactive teenager to active church member. That may be enough or it may not. Only the Bishop can say. The difference between someone that was inactive and one that was active is that the return to activity can be a big sign that they are changing and repenting. An active person may need to be restricted from things so that the effort of overcoming the restriction shows the sincerity and effort to change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost123 Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Bible Dictionary: The Greek word of which this is the translation denotes a change of mind, i.e., a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world. Since we are born into conditions of mortality, repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined. Without this there can be no progress in the thing of the soul's salvation, for all accountable persons are stained by sin, and must be cleansed in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. Repentance is not optional for salvation; it is a commandment of God. (page 761) Based on the description you posted, it sounds like these characteristics are something you have come to find out and apply. Well done. You are further ahead than most and I am sure that you are a blessing to your peers as you say they have been to you. Don't you ever let Satan think you are not worthy of blessing the lives of others or receiving the full blessings of the gospel. He is cunning and will make you think that. Just remember he is the father of all lies. An important part of repentance from grievous sins is that we confess to someone who has the Priesthood Keys and authority to be a judge in Israel. That is your bishop. Do not be afraid to go to him. He has been called to help you so that you can do what you need to truly put this behind you and take on the full affects of the atonement. I don't think you have to worry about the counselors knowing. Unless they need to be part of the repentance process, it will stay between you and the Bishop. He will let you know. You can let him know of your concern about this. Seek his counsel. Do not be afraid of the consequences. Have faith and confidence that you are doing the right thing. Satan would make it so that you have fear. Tell your Bishop the full extent of your past wrong-doings so that you know that you have fully confessed. Let him know the process you have gone through in the last while and the realization you have come to. I think if you are honest, fully penitent, and sincere you will find the outcome to be one of the true great miracles in your life (and wish you had done it sooner). Thank you for your example. It is inspiring me to do what I need to do. As far as marrying in the temple. Yes indeed. All blessings of the temple are for all who truly repent. What is even better is that all the blessings of eternal life can be yours too. Live so that you have truly taken on the name of Jesus Christ and that is what is promised. When you consider the grandeur of God's plan, you will be forever grateful. As for bringing up the past with someone in which you are engaged...that is counsel you can ask your Bishop about. Just remember that the Lord remembers your sins no more once you have truly repented. I wouldn't dwell on that part of your life - so when you do bring it up with that special someone - they should know and love you for who you are now - not then. If it is a problem for them, then someone else better is for you. Have courage. Choose the right. Don't delay. You are doing the right thing. Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Once repented of, your sins are in the past. Given this was several years ago, you were not an active member or taught the law of chastity, I'm thinking the bishop will just counsel with you and have you continue moving forward. Probation is a possibility, but given you have been active a year and staying chaste during that time, it will probably be a short period. Repentance and being cleansed in the blood of Christ means you are clean. Many have broken the law of chastity and have returned to full blessings through repentance. Remember, God is a loving God, and his goal is to have you turn to him and live. And that seems to be what you are doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonMama Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Is there a possibility that I can have a temple marriage after seeing the bishop and going through the repentance process?I am more than willing to go through the repentance process and gain worthiness to enter the temple, but my main concern is will that be possible to acheive?Short answer: YES!!!Longer answer: Most definitely YES!!!!Take it from someone who has been through the repentance process twice (and I was old enough to know better both times!) and went on to be sealed in the temple. Don't let Satan hold you back by making you think it's hopeless. It is most definitely not.Talk to your bishop and get this burden off your shoulders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayanna Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 I am so glad that you have chosen to repent and follow the Savior. :) You will feel much joy after you have seen your bishop, and he will have a chance to tell you how precious you are as a daughter of God. Take the next step on the road to forgiveness. Just think how wonderful it will feel to have this weight off of your shoulders! Yes, he will take into account that you did not have the gospel in your life during such a trying period. He will be so glad that you chose to return to the fold after going through so much. About dating RM's...I would say go ahead and date them if there is no danger of being tempted beyond what you are ready to bear. You should love yourself, though, and be confident that you can be sealed to a worthy priesthood holder in the House of the Lord after you have completed this repentance process. If you meet someone who is worth his salt, he will not care at all about past transgressions, he will feel honored that someone that is strong like you has chosen him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBallroom Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 (edited) Remember one thing above all others: What's past is past. The Lord is more concerned with who you are than with who you were, and with where you are than with where you have been. You ARE on the right track and doing the RIGHT things in your life now... Continue making right choices in your life, and the blessings will keep coming your way... Edited April 4, 2011 by MrBallroom Typo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonMama Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 (edited) Do you need to tell any RM you might date about your past... No not at first. The more serious a relationship gets the more important it becomes though, because it is a factor that you don't want coming up after you get married and realize it is a deal breaker.And yes some RM might call it off once they know. But I also have a 14 year old marriage that is going strong as proof that some RM can deal with it and move with getting married.This reminds me, the OP might want to read the book "Charlie", by Jack Weyland. Yes, it's fiction, but probably somewhat typical of people in the Church in just this situation.The Lord is more concerned with who you are than with who you were, and with where you are than with where you have been. You ARE on the right track and doing the RIGHT things in your life now...I love this. It reminded me of this quote from Luke 15:7I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. Edited April 4, 2011 by MormonMama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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