taking my grand daughter to church

[debi56]

My oldest son is not active and his wife is not a member. Their 11 year old daughter was going to church with a friend for a while but their friendship dissolved. Even though they live in a different ward, I decided to invite my grand daughter to church with us. The problem I am having is that she doesn't want to wear a dress, and she thinks the sacrament is treat time. She has not been baptized and I am pretty sure she went to church with her friend wearing street clothes and also partook of the sacrament each time.

I am not quite sure about how to approach the topic of the sacrament with her or should I just let her take it? She has no dresses,she hates dresses, but I will take her out to buy Sunday clothes.

So I am quite perplexed about this. Someone help me please!

Thank you.

[KrazyKay]

I think you should do a FHE lesson with her about the Sacrament - make sure to include the scriptures that talk about the Sacrament. I like going to the lds.org site to get past magazine articles when planning my family's FHE. There is also a lesson in the CTR lesson manual. I'm used to answering questions on yahoo answers, lol. So I automatically went to lds.org and got the links. But these should help if you choose to invite her to your house for a FHE lesson.

list of friend magazines about the sacrament: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Search

the primary CTR lesson: Primary 3: Choose the Right B Lesson 33: The Sacrament Reminds Us of Our Covenants

[applepansy]

An 11yo is old enough to see what is happening around her. How other children her age act and dress, etc. Was the friend taking her to an LDS ward? The goal for taking her to church is to learn about Christ and His expectations for us.

We live in a recreational area. We often have people attend church in shorts and flip flops. We also have an alcoholics camp within our ward boundaries and they come to church in whatever they have. What they wear improves with time. What we wear to church is not as important as being there in the best we have.

The best thing to do it teach your grand-daughter the importance of respecting Heavenly Father's house. Teach her the significance of the Sacrament. Teach her about Christ. Then let her choose. She is past the age of accountability. An 11yo thinking a small piece of bread and a swallow of water is a treat seems a little young for her age. It won't hurt her to take the Sacrament but she's old enough to understand why we take it.

Personally, I would explain the expectations and then let her decide. "Sweetheart, I would love for you to come to church with me. This is what will happen when we are at church. You will attend a Primary and Sunday School class with kids your own age. They wear Sunday best clothes which includes a dress for young ladies. At your age children are expected to act reverently. When we are in Sacrament meeting we think of Christ and listen to the speakers. We partake of the Sacrament which is sacred and not a treat. It would make me very happy to have you come with me." Or something similar depending on the child. You know her, we don't.

Best Wishes.

[NeuroTypical]

I guess the question on top of my head: What are her parent's wishes?

[classylady]

My husband and I take my grandson to church every Sunday. He just turned 8. My husband and I have purchased his Sunday clothes throughout the years. My grandson's father is LDS, but not active. He doesn't want his son to get baptized yet.

I think it's wonderful that you want to take your granddaughter to church. In my situation, I feel like the only religious teachings and values my grandson is going to receive is from us. I'm just doing the best I can, and pray that the values instilled in him will last throughout his life.

Teach her about appropriate dress for church. If you granddaughter doesn't like to wear dresses, will she wear a skirt with leggings? Take her shopping with you, and let her choose something that she likes.

[SQUARE]

As long as she is wearing somewhat modest clothes, Who cares what your Grand Kid wears to Church?. If she dose not feel comfortable now let the spirit work on her, and in her own time she will come around. The important thing is that you take her to anything with the Church that you can. This will better her chance of getting her own testimony and understanding and most importanlty to feel the spirit at these activites. Let us not judge. When you see new investigators first come to church they usually are pretty casual. As time goes on you will see them slowly dress more appopriately, to the point that they will be wearing sunday dress. This takes time. You do not want to scare your Grand- Daughter off. If she feels comfortable in pants/shorts or whatever then that is fine. As far as the Sacrament, just tell her once the importance of sacrament and that we to take the sacrament in remembrance of Jesus Crist respectively. Then let her know that she can take the sacrament if she chooses to do so under those conditions. And then leave it at that. She will come around. Please keep taking her.

[MarginOfError]

This is the perfect time to recognize that you have far less influence on your daughter than her peers. Let her come in whatever she chooses to wear. As she makes friends with the other girls her age, she'll naturally make different choices about dress to blend in a little better. The important thing is making sure she feels welcome and accepted. People don't feel accepted when you try to change them as a condition of acceptance.

As for Sacrament, again, don't worry about it. As she learns more about the covenants it represents, she'll develop more respect for it. Remember, she's not had as much time to learn about and incorporate this stuff as her peers. It's okay if she responds a little differently than what you would expect.

[Mute]

I don't know what your ward is like, but the bishop I had said he didn't care what I came in. He said my regular clothes were just fine because I said I didn't like wearing suits. In my personal opinion, I'd probably let her wear what she wants but she isn't my grand daughter. Do what you and her parents think are right.

[debi56]

Thank you so much for all your answers, it really helps alot. I guess the one thing I am concerned about is that I always thought it was wrong if you take the sacrament without being baptized once a person is past the age of accountability. As far as I know her parents support whatever. I think you are all correct with your opinions. Thanks once again.