Bini Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 We have some neighbours that live across the street from us one house over. They have a few young children under the age of ten that frequently roam around unsupervised. If that's how they choose to parent, so be it. The real issue is this. On more than one occassion, these children have come onto our property and tresspassed into our backyard with their little dog. We have a few concerns with this: (a) our backyard gate is closed and it's a bit unnerving to have people open it and let themselves in (b) there is heavy equipment back there that could potentially injure children and © their dog poops all over our yard! We could lock our gate but this would be too much of a hassle, as we frequently allow our own dogs run-time in the backyard, and having a lock to open and close each time we run them out there is inconvenient. Apart from this, we shouldn't have to lock it, these kids shouldn't be back there and especially without permission or supervision! We have talked to the mother about this and she doesn't seem too bothered about the problem. It's happened again since that small talk too.. What's a better approach to this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSJewess Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 It is aparent that the parents of the children and owner of the dog has no interest in resolving the problem, and it seems unlikely that it will change, so the ball winds up in your court so to speak. I know it is an inconvenience, but I for locking the gate and perhaps butting up a np tresspassing sign as well in case these kids have an inclination for climing over the fence. I know you are frustrated and righly so, but honestly it is less of an inconvenience to lock and unlocs the gate then it is to have to clean up after someone elses dog, risk your own dogs getting out due to a gate left open, or a law suite due to injury of the offending children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 We are currently having the same issue, almost. Talk to the kids. Don't lecture, just ask them to please stay off your property. Sometimes a "stranger" telling them to keep off helps. (Not that you would be all mean and scary, you can be perfectly nice and still just because you are a stranger can startle them a bit.) I thought about tacky "private property signs" but decided they just look tacky. Good luck. Let me know if anything works, so I can try it, too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 If you catch the kids and dog in your yard ... make the kids clean up after their dog ... that should keep them away in droves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Ugh.. I was hoping putting a lock on there could be avoided. But it may be the "best" solution for the situation. Just not thrilled about it. Also, I admit that we haven't directly talked to the children about it. Not straight-forward enough at least. The couple times that I've caught them back there, I've just asked "What are you doing back here?" and then I've added "You shouldn't be back here". But they're just little kids. None of the children have really responded much when we've talked to them either.. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 If you catch the kids and dog in your yard ... make the kids clean up after their dog ... that should keep them away in droves.Ahh! I different approach indeed! That's something my own parents would have done in this situation but I'm not sure if I can pull it off.. I guess I'm getting soft. And how exactly do you "make" kids clean up the dog poop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 (edited) Have you talked to the children directly? Treat them like you would a stray dog back there, don't shoot them with a BB gun, just scare them a bit. Go out yelling at them to get, go home, don't come back... maybe throw a stick lol Take the friend magazine approach and bake the mom cookies.... but if I did that I would give them to her just after dark when the kids will be locked up in the house all night.... ok so not sure the friend would print that story.... Edited August 3, 2011 by Gwen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Have you talked to the children directly?Yes and no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Ahh! I different approach indeed! That's something my own parents would have done in this situation but I'm not sure if I can pull it off.. I guess I'm getting soft. And how exactly do you "make" kids clean up the dog poop? Hand them a baggie or shovel and tell them they are responsible for their dog being in your yard so they need to clean up after it. I show dogs and have been known to chase spectators with dogs down at a show and ask them to clean up after their dogs. Of course I am not a bit shy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 And how exactly do you "make" kids clean up the dog poop? With cats you rub their nose in it and throw them out???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 You don't need the responsibility of them getting injured in your yard. If after talking to the kids, talking to the mom again and nothing happens... if you aren't worried about making enemies of your neighbors.... next time they were in my yard I would call the police to escort them home and let the mother know if it happens again you will press charges for trespassing. Which will most likely end up in a neglect investigation but you did warn her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Someday Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 You can get a cheap combo lock for a few bucks. I know it's a hassle, but honestly I grew up with both side gates and the garage door locked. It took a few extra seconds to open the gate - no biggie. Besides, if small children were getting into my yard, I would be concerned about bigger kids wanting to come onto the property and do more than leave their dog poop! Of course, since it seems like mom doesn't care too much (at least that's the impression that I'm getting) you could always clean up the dog's business and gift wrap it for mom! Seriously though, trespassing is trespassing and needs to be dealt with before these kids get older or other kids decide that it would be a great idea to use your property as their stomping grounds. I don't know where you are located, but in most areas parents are legally responsible for their kids. If the kids continue to trespass, then the parents can be held liable. Taking pictures of the kids and their dog a few times and turning them over to the PD might be an avenue IF the problem continues after talking to the kids. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Warn the kids directly. Explain the consequences. Warn the mother and more forcefully explain the consequences. The police aren't the only ones to call. Animal control might be a better choice first. The dog is out of their yard. Most cities have a leash law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fadedleaf Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I believe the results depend on how you want to approach the other party. I don’t want to make reiterate what others have been saying, but I would called the police the next time they trespass. What would happen if one of those children fell off a piece of heavy equipment located in the back yard? You might be sitting on your couch watching TV (assuming you can’t see your backyard all of the time) and notice the EMS pulling up. The next thing that happens is the paramedics are pulling one of the kids back to the truck in a gurney because he / she broke their leg. I’m not sure what the laws are in your state, but I’m sure that is something you don’t want to happen. Yes, call the police the next time it happens. If it were me I wouldn’t make a second attempt to talk to the neighbor - that’s not your responsibility or problem. For all you know the reason those children are trespassing is that the mother is passed out on the sofa (just speculation I know). In my own opinion the “good neighbor” policy expired after the mother ignored you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Parent's that ignore their kids are the first ones to sue if something happens to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruthiechan Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 These children need LOVE. Not fright, or warnings, or the police. Egad. Who are they going to learn how to properly behave from? Not their parents. That means it falls to you. Next time you see them in the yard invite them in for cookies and milk. See if their dog and your dogs can get along, if so, you can let them all play together. When the dog poop comes up, just hand them a scooper and baggy and politely ask them to pick it up. They need to see how good people treat each other. Be polite. Be courteous. Show love and affection. These are not terrible people trespassing on your property. These are God's children in need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 They may be God's children, but their parents do not see the way we do. Correction would be met with disdain and blame because it will reflect directly on their parenting skills. Any injury on your property will be met with demands and a lawsuit. The best thing to do is defend yourself. But then again, I live in SoCal, your region may be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipplecutBuddha Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 1. Next time the kids are in your yard. confront them. "This is my property and I don't want your dog pooping on my lawn" Then ask them to clean up behind their dog before they leave. 2. Confront them again, repeat the message from #1 and follow with "I will discuss this with your mother." Then have them clean up behind their dog again. Talk one more time to their mother and tell her you will have to call the police to protect your property from trespassing if her children return. 3. Confront them again. "I asked you not to come back. I talked with your mother, and I have photographs of you trespassing. I will call the police right now." Then call the police, right in front of them. There's being a nice neighbor, and then there's being the neighborhood sidewalk. You don't need to tolerate being walked on against your rights. We are to forgive as often as the offender sincerely repents. In the lieu of repentance and/or apologies, you have a right to defend your property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I really would make calling the police the last thing I did, an act of desperation. For all we know yes the mother may just be neglectful but she may also suffer from depression or something that is preventing her from parenting properly (or caring like the rest of us would). I would start with assuming they haven't been taught basic manners (when I was a kid if we didn't know them we weren't even allowed to cut across someone's lawn on a corner lot to save a few steps). I would talk to the kids and see if they couldn't be taught directly. I would not invite them in or feed them without the mother's permission. The biggest issue here is the inability to protect yourself when someone trespasses. Those kids could say anything once they get home and it's your word against theirs. If they get sick (have an allergy you don't know about) you are responsible. Unfortunately there is to much risk in that. You also open the door for bigger issues.... once you invite them in then in their minds you are friends, they have a right to access your back yard and your home. If these children don't understand property they most likely don't understand knocking either, they will assume permission. Give them a firm talking to and send them home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 If you have a friend who is a police officer, ask him to swing by the neighbor's house and talk with the kids. Sometimes that is enough to shock both kids and parent into doing the responsible thing. Also, it gives the police a chance to ensure the children are not being neglected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I agree with Gwen. Sometimes a caring adult who intervenes is a firm but loving way makes a life changing difference in the lives of children. The dog...well animal control :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Hand them a baggie or shovel and tell them they are responsible for their dog being in your yard so they need to clean up after it. I show dogs and have been known to chase spectators with dogs down at a show and ask them to clean up after their dogs. Of course I am not a bit shy.I'm not shy either. But with how children are these days, I'm pretty sure those kids would just laugh and run away.. Which is why I was asking how you "make" someone do something that they're not going to want to do or do period. It's a good approach though. Like I said, my parents would have done it and 20-some years ago, I think kids would be afraid NOT to abide by an elder's instruction. But these days kids just don't seem to mind as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 These children need LOVE. Not fright, or warnings, or the police. Egad. Who are they going to learn how to properly behave from? Not their parents. That means it falls to you. Next time you see them in the yard invite them in for cookies and milk. See if their dog and your dogs can get along, if so, you can let them all play together. When the dog poop comes up, just hand them a scooper and baggy and politely ask them to pick it up. They need to see how good people treat each other. Be polite. Be courteous. Show love and affection. These are not terrible people trespassing on your property. These are God's children in need.I don't disagree that these children need love. All kids need love, regardless, if they're awful little monsters. And I'm not saying that these kids are. It's apparent that they're simply neglected and because of this, they find their own entertainment and get into trouble. However, I disagree that it falls to me and my husband to become surrogate parents and to teach them what's "proper behaviour" because they're not our children. Being a good example is one thing but taking on a role such as what you're referring to is another. I think inviting children into your home that you are not close to, nor are you close to their family, is potentially risky. Especially when the children are not accompanied by a parent. I think this can open doors to false allegations of all sorts of things and that's something that my husband and I certainly don't want to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Great suggestions from everyone. I don't want to post "NO TRESPASSING" signs all over our property. We live in a nice area, despite this menacing problem, and I'd hate to post those tacky signs everywhere. But like many of you mentioned, a lock, may be our only option at this point. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if these kids crawled over the top of our gate and fence. They're both maybe 3-feet high. It's just not that hard to jump, really. But it is an option to reconsider at this point. I also like the idea of taking "evidence photos" of when we catch them in our backyard. I have actually done this before when I worked with a HOA trying to enforce a "no pet policy". Having solid evidence does work in your favour when it comes to legalities. @ Slamjet: I wanted to "Laugh" at your post of the barbed-wire fence but I could only "Thank" you.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.