john doe Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Sorry for letting Pam derail your thread, Bini. I don't have any advice other than to echo what someone else said previously (I don't know who, I didn't go back and look) that sometimes it's easier to love your in-laws than it is to like them. One of the biggest problems I observe in different family relationships problems is that many times when someone thinks they are being funny, the person on the other side of the conversation thinks that a joke is a personal attack on them, when that is not intended at all. Family members often say and do things to each other that they would never think of saying or doing to their friends. In my family, when I can't stand to be around certain people I will limit my interaction with them until they show that we can share the same space without them being offensive. If they continue to be offensive, I build more of a wall between myself and them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Sorry for letting Pam derail your thread, Bini. Again I rest my case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Trust your instincts, Bini. Sometimes, there isn't anything concrete you can point your finger to. I was uncomfortable about leaving my children alone with one of my own brothers. I don't know why I felt that way, but I did. He just seemed to be overly "fond" of children, and it made me uncomfortable. My younger sister, just this last year, told me she had felt the same way. We didn't have anything concrete to point to, we just had that "uncomfortable" feeling. She never allowed her children to be alone with that particular brother either. All of our children are older now, (adults, or nearly adults) so we don't worry anymore. But, I often wonder why we had these particular feelings. I don't think my brother has ever harmed any children, but he was molested as a young teen, and he "outed" the guy. We will never know. Perhaps, if he had the opportunity, something might have happened. But, my sister and I, (unbeknownst to either of us) had the feeling not to allow him to be alone with our young children. We still associated with him, just didn't allow him to be alone with our children. I don't know how that helps you. I would still associate with BIL, but try your best to be civil, and trust your instincts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks. ^ I needed that. I will follow my gut instinct and I'd never allow my unfavourable BIL to babysit for us. Now I'm a bit nervous though about our Christmas party coming up.. DH and I have arranged MIL to watch baby for us that whole night. I expect that she'll be 1-1 with baby all night but I know my BIL will be home as well. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of him handling my daughter. So far, apart from me and DH, MIL has been the only other person that does stuff for baby, like diaper changes.. If MIL gets caught up with dinner or something and needs to put baby down, I'm now a bit paranoid that BIL will offer to care for her during that time. How would one even approach that issue? I don't think there's any way around bringing this up without hurting feelings. @ Pam. Thanks for derailing my thread! JUST KIDDING! I love that this forum is fun :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 PS. Who is that guy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 GIve him movie tickets and maybe dinner, just good for one night only. Then maybe he will be gone most of the waking hours..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) He looks like this guy to me. Coincidence? I think not. Edited December 9, 2011 by pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Actually. Now I see it. I do recognise him.. I'm still waiting for a sequel to that movie. I loved it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 In thinking about this, unless he has cooties, he isnt going to hurt the baby. Later on, who knows. Never let him alone with the baby and make him keep his hands visible. Does he have cooties? I am thinking he might! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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