Some advice on girls

[TStevieRob]

Short and sweet- how do I get out of the "friend" zone? Seems like it always happens to me. I go to a YSA ward. Im (generally) not afraid to ask girls out, I think Im pretty good on dates, but I dont know, that's how it seems like it always ends up.

Also, a random tidbit. I dont think a girl should ever turn down a chance at a first date. No matter whom the guy. Whats the worst that could happen to you? Get a free meal and make a new friend?

[annewandering]

Flowers? Something romantic that you would not do or say to a friend? Romantic eye contact? Touching. Not groping mind you. I am not expert but those would seem to be a start anyway.

[Bini]

About turning first dates down..

It does happen and right or wrong, you may actually be dodging a bullet if the girl says no. Someone on here in another thread made a statement along the lines of: if you don't like blondes, then don't date my daughter. If you think about it that way, it makes great sense. If a girl has already made her mind up about you (like I said, right or wrong) and doesn't want to give you the time of day — she's not worth YOUR time. This isn't to say that by giving someone a chance, you can't learn to appreciate/admire/love that person but personal preference is a powerful thing and rarely wavers.

As for transitioning from friendship to relationship, there's so many ways to go about this. You can be less subtle and more aggressive, like Anne suggested, or you can be really straight forward and ask point blank if she'd be interested in becoming more than friends. I met my husband in Las Vegas on Superbowl weekend and that was the first time we'd met. Before he went back up to SLC and I returned home, he asked me if I'd date him exclusively. I said yes, not really thinking it'd work out since we we're more than 4 hours away from each other at the time. He came down every weekend to see me! Now that's being proactive!

[LDSgirl]

Also, a random tidbit. I dont think a girl should ever turn down a chance at a first date. No matter whom the guy. Whats the worst that could happen to you? Get a free meal and make a new friend?

I feel that you are a good person, but when you ask what's the worst thing that could happen to a girl for turning down a first date........well, one big thing that comes to my mind is becoming a missing person or being found in a shallow grave in the woods!

I don't date strangers and I feel safer starting out with a group date and gradually getting to know a person. Rightly or wrongly, we all make decisions based on first impressions. Sometimes we turn down a first date because we feel that we don't have anything in common and we don't want to encourage this person by giving them a false hope. I try to decline in a way that expresses a thank you for asking, but .......(PS: when I decline, I try to let them know that it is fine to ask, but that I have other interest).

Then there is another group of people that your inner-self tells you to be leary of.......as a potential source of danger, immoral character or just plain old abusive behavior!

[jayanna]

my hubby says, to get out of the friend zone, don't wait too long...let her know quickly, do something more than "friendly" send her flowers, etc... let her know that you are interested in a romantic relationship with her...if you are a friend for too long you could end up a friend forever.

Be calm, and confident

[Madriglace]

With all due respect ... girls shouldn't turn down a first date???? Do you ask every girl you meet or do you choose the ones that interest you? The street goes both ways.

[James_Fryman]

my hubby says, to get out of the friend zone, don't wait too long...let her know quickly, do something more than "friendly" send her flowers, etc... let her know that you are interested in a romantic relationship with her...if you are a friend for too long you could end up a friend forever.

Be calm, and confident

I actually let myself fall in the friend zone first, get to know them, and then see how things progress from. Its not hard to get out of the friend zone lol.

[Guest]

I didn't date - so yeah. I turned down every invitation. What's the worst that can happen? Wasting time trying to figure out if the guy's pretending to be somebody he's not.

How to go from friendship to relationship? Well, from experience, my husband who has been my friend for almost 2 years asked me if I'd be interested in marrying him... that's one way to do it.

[Gramajane]

friends first is totally best---

it is way easier to go up the ladder to boyfriend, girlfriend

but so much more pain to break up!

Trouble being, that I get the impression you just want "A" girlfriend/boyfriend-- and have not really had those special feelings about the few that really stand out for you?

Girls want to believe/know that they are totally special-- and if you don't see the girl you are asking to spend time with you, as at LEAST more interesting than the others (at this point) then why in the world ask her out? Group dates are where you find the few who you want to know better.

Friends and more friends are great-- they are the ones who invite you to parties and may just have another friend for you to meet, or a cousin etc! Charlie Brown said "I need all the friends I can get."

Friend is one step up from aquaintance, and then there are close friends and best friends. Hopefully who you marry with be a BEST friend-- so you have FUN and LOVE all your life long!

[bytebear]

I really think that when you find a compatible mate, you just know it. Or rather, when you know it's wrong, you know it, and no need for a second date. So, just keep dating. Most will be dead ends, but when you both know you click, you will move forward. Don't bother trying to make things work when it doesn't click right away.

[FunkyTown]

Short and sweet- how do I get out of the "friend" zone? Seems like it always happens to me. I go to a YSA ward. Im (generally) not afraid to ask girls out, I think Im pretty good on dates, but I dont know, that's how it seems like it always ends up.

Also, a random tidbit. I dont think a girl should ever turn down a chance at a first date. No matter whom the guy. Whats the worst that could happen to you? Get a free meal and make a new friend?

Normally, and you can ask anyone on here, I'm the first to jump up on the bandwagon and say 'Any man can attract any woman'. I believe it.

Here's the problem: You've admitted you're a new convert suffering PTSD and smoking weed to overcome your difficulties.

You need to work on you first before you get in to a relationship and, when you do, it'll have to be a girl who can be patient and will walk through the difficulties someone dealing with PTSD will have.

Just let yourself be in the friend zone for now.

[karlaa]

yea, i would also say flowers though i am tempted to say somth else.. also, something sweet would not sound bad at all.. karla