Bini Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 Neither are wives but I'm only talking about husbands here, specifically, my husband. So it's been said time and time again (here on LDS.net too) that men aren't mind readers and when you want to get a point across to your husband sometimes you need to just come straight out, say it and not dance around the issue. Well I've always thought of myself as a straight shooter. When I want something or feel a certain way, I let my husband know, and for the most part I think I've always been pretty forward in this regard but apparently I'm not always as direct as I think I am..A few nights ago DH and I were sitting in the living room finishing up a game we'd recorded. There wasn't much left of the game, so I get up and tell DH that I'm going to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. My intentions were that I'd do this and then rejoin him on the sofa. Well I get done cleaning up, come out of the bathroom and notice that the lights are off and DH has already climbed into bed. I knew he couldn't have fallen asleep so fast, so I nudge him and tell him that I thought he was going to wait for me to finish up the game. He then points out that I never said that and since I was getting ready for bed, he figured he'd call it a night too.Then yesterday, I got into the shower and noticed two bars of soap in there. A brandnew bar and a worn down one. I don't like "clutter" in the shower (but DH is attached to his bars and won't transition to bodywash) so as soon as I was done, I ask DH why there's a big soap and a little soap in the shower. You know what he says to me? Because the little soap used to be a big soap, that's why there's a big one and a little one in there. I laugh about it now but I didn't find it very funny at the time. So then I asked him WHY he didn't throw the old bar of soap away because he knows how I hate clutter in there. He looks at me and says, "Why didn't you just say that?".So ladies, it seems that my communication isn't as great as I thought it was! And as it's said, there's always room for improvement, right? Anyway, just wanted to share some of my own experiences and say that sometimes we aren't always as direct as we think we're being. Bottom line: husbands aren't mind readers! Quote
prisonchaplain Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 Ah...but if I really loved my wife, I would be able to read her mind--or I'd at least try harder, right? :-) Quote
annewandering Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 I would just as soon mine didnt read my mind. ^^ Its easier to take things back you say than what they see you think. Quote
Jennarator Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 Ah...but if I really loved my wife, I would be able to read her mind--or I'd at least try harder, right? :-)Yes, exactly. JK! Quote
Bini Posted January 23, 2012 Author Report Posted January 23, 2012 LOL @ PC! Anne, strangely, my DH is able to read my mind when I'm not even expecting him to! Quote
Dravin Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 Ah...but if I really loved my wife, I would be able to read her mind--or I'd at least try harder, right? :-)That's okay, if she loved me she'd be able to read my mind and know I can't read hers, and thus, though disappointed by resorting to such a crude communication medium, speak her thoughts.The joys of "If you loved me..." it cuts both ways. Quote
Bini Posted January 23, 2012 Author Report Posted January 23, 2012 The joys of "If you loved me..." it cuts both ways.I know a couple that have used this line.. Quote
Jennarator Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 I know a couple that have used this line..Seems to me that couple, needs to get a clue. Miscommunication start more fights. Quote
Dravin Posted January 23, 2012 Report Posted January 23, 2012 I know a couple that have used this line..Nine times out of ten when someone is using that phrase in a serious manner they need to be slapped. Quote
Martain Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 This reminds me of what I once heard taught regarding the differences between men and woman. For example eyesight: As a general rule, women's sight nerve receptors are spread in a wider pattern than men which gives them great peripheral vision. As a general rule, men's sight nerve receptors are concentrated in a central cone which gives them great tunnel vision. Compared to women, men's peripheral vision isn't so hot... So the story I heard goes like this. Man and woman walking down the street. Woman sees another woman via peripheral vision. After a while the man turns his head and looks at the other woman. Woman is upset. She thinks he not only was looking at the other woman all along but that he then, in an even greater offence, he turned his head for a direct glance and that the truth was that while he sensed something in his peripheral vision, it wasn't until he actually turned his head that he saw the other woman, realized it wasn't something he should be checking out, and turned his head back away. Total time woman has seen other woman: 8 seconds Total time man has seen other woman: 1 second Or so the story goes. I shared this at work and received much derision from my female co-workers over the subject =) Quote
prisonchaplain Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 That's okay, if she loved me she'd be able to read my mind and know I can't read hers, and thus, though disappointed by resorting to such a crude communication medium, speak her thoughts.The joys of "If you loved me..." it cuts both ways. It's not about fairness, justice, 50-50, equal treatment, or any such silliness, brother. Perhaps you missed the first day of Successful Husbands' School. Here's a refresher:The rules of successful husbanding:1. She's right.2. If you ever discover that she's wrong refer to rule #1.3. IT NEVER CUTS BOTH WAYS!Now, I realize that this is an LDS site, and these notes came from my Evangelical school, but I was led to believe this lesson crosses all denominations, and indeed all religions. Quote
Dravin Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 It's not about fairness, justice, 50-50, equal treatment, or any such silliness, brother. Perhaps you missed the first day of Successful Husbands' School. Here's a refresher:The rules of successful husbanding:1. She's right.2. If you ever discover that she's wrong refer to rule #1.3. IT NEVER CUTS BOTH WAYS!Now, I realize that this is an LDS site, and these notes came from my Evangelical school, but I was led to believe this lesson crosses all denominations, and indeed all religions. While it's great fun to joke about and I admit there is a nugget of truth contained in the joking if I had honestly believe such was what it took to be married I probably would have remained single. She's my help-meet not my tyrannical overlord. Quote
prisonchaplain Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 Maybe it's just that I needed more help than you did... Quote
Dravin Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 Maybe it's just that I needed more help than you did...No it's just the nugget of truth, about how harmony is more important than 'being right' (except possibly with circumstances of morality), is inflated for humorous effect. I'm just not in the mood for the humor at the moment. Quote
beefche Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 I'm just not in the mood for the humor at the moment.Because I'm being a tyrannical overlord? Quote
Dravin Posted January 24, 2012 Report Posted January 24, 2012 Because I'm being a tyrannical overlord? Yes dear. Quote
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