Some more HS questions

[Bini]

★☆

I'm not just asking to ask. I'm genuinely interested in the concept of homeschooling. I still have time before consideration becomes action but meanwhile, I want to absorb as much information from various sources as possible. So don't hold back, I want a breakdown of your personal experiences, from the pros to the cons. While I do some reading up on the topic, and await your responses, I'll post some inquiries.

What method of homeschooling is best?

I'm understanding that there are two types of homeschooling: Replicating school system with curriculum and creating free range no curriculum education.

What age do you start homeschooling from the get-go?

My daughter will be a year old before Christmas. I know that some Montessori schools start with children as young as two or three years old. Is this about the time when you start teaching? Or do I wait for the Kindergarten age? That seems like a long time to not teach anything..

What about group homeschooling?

I read online where there are groups that do this. Sounds like it could be the better of both worlds, that being between a school system and 1-1 homeschooling.

How are learning disabilities addressed in homeschooling?

"Learning disabilities" is surely a broad description, and could be anything from mild dyslexia to severe Autism. Having some experience in this area, I understand that it's not uncommon for children to act out, or refuse to cooperate, when a parent is the one giving instruction and teaching. Sometimes, a middleman is necessary to reach and keep the child's interest. I know that this is quite common with children that are diagnosed with Autism. I remember a woman that could not get her son to read or write BUT he would take direction from me without much of a fuss. Would a specialist, or at minimal, a tutor that is familiar with certain learning disabilities be incorporated into homeschooling? Or would you battle it out with your child and keep on truckin'? My daughter is a healthy child, both mentally and physically, doesn't seem to display any signs that would lead us to think otherwise but you just never know what kind of learning difficulties will arise in the future.

How do you incorporate "recess" and "playmates" into homeschooling?

I only have one child. In general, we are a private family, and we don't get out solely to interact with others in playdates. So typically, a day consists of just me and my daughter. How would you incorporate recess and playmates into homeschooling, with an only child? We do attend church but we don't always make it, and it's still about 50/50 that we make it to Sunday School. So in that case, banking on my daughter meeting and making friends in primary isn't the best idea. Family and friends have kids that are alot older than my daughter. The closes in age is about five years.. I really don't want to resort in looking for random playdate groups online to join.. Is that pretty much how it's done, though?

How do you gauge whether your child is progressing and not falling behind or regressing?

That's all I can think of right now.

[Vort]

What method of homeschooling is best?

The two types you mention are more like the two poles of homeschooling, ranging form a virtual duplication of public education clear through 'unschooling', where no schedules are drawn up and no explicit demands made. The vast majority of homeschoolers are somewhere in between. Many start out toward the "regimented" end of the spectrum, then loosen up as they sort of get the feel of things.

For us, homeschooling is not so much an activity as it is a lifestyle. It is just how our family is. All of our children have been readers by age four, because we just naturally teach them how to read during family scripture study (and bedtime reading and such). Learning to read is really the key to good homeschooling, for the obvious reason that a child who can read can teach himself or herself by reading.

And that's really what homeschooling is all about: Directed self-learning. (Supposedly, that's what public education is about, too, but you will be hard-pressed to find many teachers or administrators who explicitly believe this and work toward it.) Make so-called "homeschooling" simply a part of your life, like cleaning the house or shopping or going to Church on Sunday, and you find that educating your children is as obvious and natural as any other part of your life. (Plus, my observation is that homeschooling parents simply enjoy their children more than non-homeschoolers, and vice versa.)

What age do you start homeschooling from the get-go?

We started scripture study with our oldest when he was about two, when we taught him to identify the word "God" by its shape, and then let him "read" that word every time it came up. Then we expanded from there, teaching him to identify a handful of other words by shape, then showed him how the letters made the sound of the word, and so forth. I suppose this might count as "homeschooling".

But as I said before, homeschooling should be as natural a part of your family life as shopping, cleaning the house, or breathing. In that sense, it starts from the moment of birth, when you talk to your child and work to create a bond of love and intimacy. That's the essence of "homeschooling".

Personally, I am not a big fan of formalized instruction for small children.

What about group homeschooling?

Totally depends on how you want to run your family. If you have relatives or very close friends who live nearby and who have same-aged or near-same-aged children, this might be perfectly natural and beneficial. If you're new to homeschooling and want to sort of ride along with someone else for a few weeks or months to see how they do it, then as long as they're amenable to it, go for it. I happen to agree fully with the philosophy that "it takes a village to raise a child".

For us, we attend a sort of homeschooling cooperative, sponsored (interestingly enough) by the local school district. It has worked very well for us, though recent changes have us thinking that we might not use it past this year. But such resources are usually available, and many homeschoolers find them helpful.

How are learning disabilities addressed in homeschooling?

No one knows your child better than you do. With a caring parent, a "learning disabled" child is likely to get the best care and help for his or her problems. In some (rare) cases, there may be a highly specialized disability that is beyond the parents' ability, at least temporarily. In such cases, there are usually government-funded alternatives, including public school resources. Most states (certainly Washington, one of the very best states for homeschooling because of its liberal homeschooling laws) allow homeschooled children access to public resources.

When children do not respond to parental instruction, that is an issue of parental discipline. It is certainly possible (though not likely, in my view) that a parent may be unsuited to instructing his/her child in some area, but when the child simply digs in his heels and refuses to respond to the parent, that is not a "teaching" problem, but a "parenting" problem.

How do you incorporate "recess" and "playmates" into homeschooling?

We don't. The whole idea of a "recess" is a programmed break in an otherwise busy and tedious schedule, such as a court recess. Homeschooling is not that type of tedious activity. Breaks can be taken when needed, rather than scheduled for some certain time. When you need to run to the store, you take her with you. While you're at the store, you talk with her about what you're doing and what she's seeing. When she gets old enough, you maybe ask her, "This one costs $1.97, and this one costs $1.88. Which one costs less?" Or she will ask you why you're buying the more expensive one, and you will teach her about quality, and that paying more for a better product is often less expensive in the long run, or that paying twice as much for three times as much stuff is cheaper in the long run. "Recess" ceases to exist as an independent, programmed play period, and just becomes the rest and reflection that you do while in between tasks you're performing, or periods of time when you kick back from your work.

Of course, some who have a highly regimented homeschool do exactly that, programmed recess. You can do it if you want.

How do you gauge whether your child is progressing and not falling behind or regressing?

Homeschoolers generally learn not to worry about this. I know that sounds weird, because we are conditioned to be competitive, to compare ourselves with "the norm", and to "keep up". But if a child is in a stimulating and interesting environment, learning is as natural as breathing, and you really just don't have to worry about it.

That said, it's not hard to gauge where your child's publicly schooled peers are at when you observe them (for example) at Church. You get a pretty good idea what the general expectations are for any given age. There are countless assessment tests that you can buy or download for free.

Honestly, homeschooled children tend as a whole to be above the schooling "averages", which I think is one reason homeschoolers generally quit paying close attention to how their children are "progressing" vis-a-vis their publicly schooled peers.

The exception to this rule is when your child wants to do something that requires standardized testing or measurement. If your child wants a high school diploma from the local high school, she will have to comply with the high school graduation requirements. If your child wants to apply to a college that requires an SAT or ACT score, she will have to take the SAT or ACT, and test-taking is a separate skill unto itself. Homeschooled children who have never, ever been exposed to such tests will be at a distinct disadvantage when taking them. But this is easily remedied by introducing them to such tests and testing methods, say around age 12, and maybe practicing such test methodologies once a year or so, brushing up just before they actually take the test.

Hope this is of some help. Homeschooling is a huge topic, not something easily discussed in a single posting or thread. For us, it has literally been our way of life, and I cannot imagine doing things any other way. Best of luck to you.

[HiJolly]

What method of homeschooling is best?

I'm understanding that there are two types of homeschooling: Replicating school system with curriculum and creating free range no curriculum education.

It's almost a subjective question. So many variable, you know. We did curriculum based. But we did such a bad job of it that it might was well have been 'free range'. lol.

What age do you start homeschooling from the get-go?

My daughter will be a year old before Christmas. I know that some Montessori schools start with children as young as two or three years old. Is this about the time when you start teaching? Or do I wait for the Kindergarten age? That seems like a long time to not teach anything..

We started when our oldest was 5. We had wanted to put him in Kindergarten but the local school district didn't allow non-vaccinated kids. No waivers or anything. So we home schooled.

BTW, if you homeschool and try to socialize your kids (or team teach) with other homeschoolers, you'll run into this a lot. They're there because they don't fit the mainstream ANYWAY.

What about group homeschooling?

I read online where there are groups that do this. Sounds like it could be the better of both worlds, that being between a school system and 1-1 homeschooling.

Loved it.

How are learning disabilities addressed in homeschooling?

"Learning disabilities" is surely a broad description, and could be anything from mild dyslexia to severe Autism. Having some experience in this area, I understand that it's not uncommon for children to act out, or refuse to cooperate, when a parent is the one giving instruction and teaching. Sometimes, a middleman is necessary to reach and keep the child's interest. I know that this is quite common with children that are diagnosed with Autism. I remember a woman that could not get her son to read or write BUT he would take direction from me without much of a fuss. Would a specialist, or at minimal, a tutor that is familiar with certain learning disabilities be incorporated into homeschooling? Or would you battle it out with your child and keep on truckin'? My daughter is a healthy child, both mentally and physically, doesn't seem to display any signs that would lead us to think otherwise but you just never know what kind of learning difficulties will arise in the future.

In our experience, practically everything is incorporated into homeschool, if you make it so. In our case, our fourth child had a fairly profound learning disability - and we needed help. So we sent him to public school, along with his younger siblings, because once we engaged with the public schools, we stayed engaged.

My wife then joined the PTA and eventually became a member of the State board. She's done now, but no one can say she didn't give it all she had.

How do you incorporate "recess" and "playmates" into homeschooling?

I only have one child. In general, we are a private family, and we don't get out solely to interact with others in playdates. So typically, a day consists of just me and my daughter. How would you incorporate recess and playmates into homeschooling, with an only child? We do attend church but we don't always make it, and it's still about 50/50 that we make it to Sunday School. So in that case, banking on my daughter meeting and making friends in primary isn't the best idea. Family and friends have kids that are alot older than my daughter. The closes in age is about five years.. I really don't want to resort in looking for random playdate groups online to join.. Is that pretty much how it's done, though?

Do the playdate/studytiime groups anyway. Your child needs to interact with varying types of personalities.

How do you gauge whether your child is progressing and not falling behind or regressing?

Have an idea where they should be. The schools have curriculum you can review, by grade level. So do homeschooling groups. Ask your child's Primary teacher if your child seems less prepared than the other kids. There are lots of ways to this, but isolation doesn't seem like it would help much if at all.

Just my opinions, of course.

HiJolly

[NeuroTypical]

What method of homeschooling is best?

I'm understanding that there are two types of homeschooling: Replicating school system with curriculum and creating free range no curriculum education.

Well, those are more appropriately thought of as the two extremes of a wide range of styles and methods. And you get to pick where on the range you want to appear. And you can change if you like.

What age do you start homeschooling from the get-go?

Children start 'learning' in the womb. Playing with babies is teaching them, as is laughing with toddlers and telling stories, coloring, scribbling, playing in the mud, making macaroni pictures, etc, etc. If you are asking when do you start sitting them down with pencil and paper, well, that depends on your children, their attention spans, and what's on the paper. Maybe what you're asking, is when do you start taking attendance and tracking progress and whatnot? For pre-K kids, we basically grabbed our kiddo's yearly doctor checkup list, as it was looking for ability to form words and tell colors and whatnot. Nothing formal - but looking for indications that something was delayed or missing.

What about group homeschooling?

We've always done some sort of homeschooling co-op, and we've tried three. Last and this year, the kids do one day of co-op, and one day of public school offered as a homeschool outreach thing. They won't learn to write 1d/wk, but this is how they get their state requirements like history, art, social studies, etc.

It all depends on what is available in your area. Here in homeschool-friendly Colorado, they're everywhere.

How are learning disabilities addressed in homeschooling?

In my opinion, in far, far superior ways to how they're addressed in public school. Our high-functioning CP kid gets weekly one-on-one PT through a team of highly-trained specialists funded by our medical insurance. Placing her in school, she'd have PT done through the couple of people the district hired to cover six schools, who have never heard the term "benign congenital hypotonia" before in their lives. You will learn how to make a 401 plan or an IEP plan, which basically is an agreement on how the school will navigate through the paradoxical and occasionally nonbeneficial morass of federal and state laws, and what they will and won't do for your kids.

This is not a slam on public schools. This is a reality of what schools can accomplish with available funding and within government rules. The folks on the special ed team in my district are wonderful dedicated people who manage to wring miracles out of the situation they are in. It's just that mom and the team of docs at peds rehab are better at it

In homeschooling, you are Mom. That means you learn diagnoses, learn what it all means, learn what works or doesn't for you and your kiddo, and you put the treatment into play. You will learn to argue with doctors, and your doctors will learn to respect and trust your opinion. You don't have to learn it all tomorrow - you learn over years as you go - and that's ok.

How do you incorporate "recess" and "playmates" into homeschooling?

It depends on how structured you decide to be. There are families that use alarms and stopwatches and whatnot, who do daily prayer at 7:55AM, then online stuff until 8:45, then 15 minutes of play time, etc.

Our family does it this way: "I'll make lunch after your math is done." "You can go knock on the (homeschooling neighbor's) door after you do your reading." "No evening Netflix shows until your daily stuff is done." "You can play on mom's ipod after dad grades your math test and goes over it with you." I was been completely against this style when I first heard about it. But now it's what works for wife and kids, and me too.

Your results will vary, and change over time.

One word of advice, new homeschooling mommies can burn out and get destroyed if they decide to live and die by a timetable. Whatever program you implement needs to have plenty of slack in it for sickness, family emergencies, traffic jams, surprise sleep-over opportunities, etc. The monthly and yearly goals are more important than the weekly and daily goals.

Socialization is important. Friends and playdates are important. But don't discount socialization with random people you meet during the day.

How do you gauge whether your child is progressing and not falling behind or regressing?

Yearly child checkups for early years. There are tons of developmental calendars and whatnot available. During regular K-12 school years, your public school probably has state or federal grade-by-grade milestones published on a website somewhere. The Well-Trained Mind has everything laid out year-by-year. And every year, we deviate from it a little more, and that's fine.

Again, you pick it up over time. You don't need to know it tomorrow.

That's all I can think of right now.

Here's how to know if you'll succeed at homeschooling:

* Do you like spending lots and lots of time, every day, with your kids? With very few breaks? Do you have sufficient energy levels to do this?

* Can you endure repetition?

* Can you see the world through your kid's eyes, and alter your method appropriately?

* Can you learn new things just seconds before teaching them?

* Does someone have the patience in your family to keep records and attendance and make and track goals?

Then you'll do fine.

Edited August 30, 2012 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[Vort]

LM brings up the topic of parental burn-out. This is a real thing that can happen to YOU. One way to guard against it is to realize that the idea of spending 7-9 hours a day schooling your children is ridiculous. Public schools do that because they pretty much have to, but you're not getting a solid hour of instruction for every hour the kid is in school.

In our experience, two hours per day is more than enough to "keep up" with what's going on in the public schools. That's not to say the learning only occurs for two hours per day, just that that's about how much real learning time you need (actually, more like an hour per day) to replicate public school learning. So don't worry that you're not spending enough time schooling the kiddo. You probably are.

[applepansy]

Whichever form of education you choose for you daughter remember its never too early to start teaching them. You've probably already started. When you hand her a cup you say Cup. When you see a pretty flower you tell her the color of the flower. Constantly talking to your child (not baby talk) will prepare them not only to ready early but to communicate very well.

Playtime is also learning time.

I'm sure you're already doing a lot of teaching. Add whatever education works best with your style of teaching.

[applepansy]

LM brings up the topic of parental burn-out. This is a real thing that can happen to YOU. One way to guard against it is to realize that the idea of spending 7-9 hours a day schooling your children is ridiculous. Public schools do that because they pretty much have to, but you're not getting a solid hour of instruction for every hour the kid is in school.

In our experience, two hours per day is more than enough to "keep up" with what's going on in the public schools. That's not to say the learning only occurs for two hours per day, just that that's about how much real learning time you need (actually, more like an hour per day) to replicate public school learning. So don't worry that you're not spending enough time schooling the kiddo. You probably are.

Which is why most home schooled kids are better educated and have no trouble getting into BYU and other expensive Universities.

My Aunt homeschooled before homeschooling was popular and ended up in a law suit with the school district. She persevered and her children just younger than me qualified for BYU. I don't know how the younger ones did but they are all successful. (She has 11 children and homeschooled them all.)

[Bini]

★☆

Each response was very insightful. Thank you.

Other than this forum and a couple FB friends, I don't know many people that are supportive of homeschooling, and I wish I did because I'm in the midst of doubters. It doesn't matter much what others think but the dilemma is that my husband is not convinced that homeschooling is viable for us. His reasoning is a mixture of being skeptical of the unknown (especially since we both know little about homeschooling), and being concerned with my ability to teach. I've been known to have control issues, and when stress levels are high, I tend to have poor coping skills. I'm understanding that homeschooling is a lifestyle, more so than a scheduled lesson plan but because DH is gone a lot during the day, the teaching will primarily be left to me. So certainly, considering personal limitations is important, as I know that I'm not immune to being "burnt out" - been there, done that.

On the same note, and addressing LM's pointers..

Here's how to know if you'll succeed at homeschooling: * Do you like spending lots and lots of time, every day, with your kids? With very few breaks? Do you have sufficient energy levels to do this?

* Can you endure repetition?

* Can you see the world through your kid's eyes, and alter your method appropriately?

* Can you learn new things just seconds before teaching them?

* Does someone have the patience in your family to keep records and attendance and make and track goals?

1. Yes I can endure repetition but in a homeschooling environment I don't know how thin my patience will wear, to be honest.

2. Yes.

3. Depends on the subject but then again, I get to pick what I want to teach, right? My strong suits are Language, English, and any Arts..

4. Yes.

Do I have a chance if numbers 1 and 3 are "maybes"?

I can already envision myself doing the "free range" education. But I'm a really free-spirit that way. I rarely follow manuals, and tend to wing stuff as I go. Not sure how good a characteristic that is, especially, when it comes to putting your child's education in your hands.. Well, you have given me food for thought, and I'm really pondering your personal experiences and advice. I really want to do this, and I wish more people in my life would take homeschooling seriously, or at least be supportive to the idea when I share my thoughts on it. I have some time yet to become informed on homeschooling with my husband, which will ultimately be the difference between it happening and not happening. Any suggestions in how to convey the "essence" of what homeschooling is without reading books or blogs on it? DH is just too busy to sit down and read through articles and blogs of homeschooling parents. Maybe there's something on YouTube that you would recommend that covers what homeschooling is for dummies?

Thanks again, and I'd love to hear from more homeschooling parents. Maybe if there's any mothers that are doing it or have done it. How did you cope, or how are you coping?

[Bini]

★☆

Missed your response, Apple! Yes, I try to do all that. Talking to her a lot, and talking with her about all kinds of things. My sister wants to teach her sign language, which is a great idea but I was told by (brace yourself) a specialist that if you teach sign language before speaking, the child will slow the flow on using words, and choose to use hands instead. I have actually witnessed this very case myself but of course, that doesn't make it set in stone for every child.

[NeuroTypical]

Do I have a chance if numbers 1 and 3 are "maybes"?

Yes. Of course, you need a support system. And of course it's not something to do alone. We're not too many years away from finding a non-us way to continue teaching math, for example.

Any suggestions in how to convey the "essence" of what homeschooling is without reading books or blogs on it?

The purpose of educating kids, is to create capable, mature, moral, well-adjusted adults who are willing and able to pursue their own happiness and contribute positively to their communities and relationships, and unleash them. It is the parents responsibility and duty, regardless of what parts of it they outsource to someone else.

DH is just too busy to sit down and read through articles and blogs of homeschooling parents. Maybe there's something on YouTube that you would recommend that covers what homeschooling is for dummies?

Yep - here you go:

You do need hubby to agree and be supportive. You do not need your friends or neighbors or extended family to agree. Our relations all think we're nuts.

Edited August 30, 2012 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[applepansy]

★☆

Each response was very insightful. Thank you.

Other than this forum and a couple FB friends, I don't know many people that are supportive of homeschooling, and I wish I did because I'm in the midst of doubters. It doesn't matter much what others think but the dilemma is that my husband is not convinced that homeschooling is viable for us. His reasoning is a mixture of being skeptical of the unknown (especially since we both know little about homeschooling), and being concerned with my ability to teach. I've been known to have control issues, and when stress levels are high, I tend to have poor coping skills. I'm understanding that homeschooling is a lifestyle, more so than a scheduled lesson plan but because DH is gone a lot during the day, the teaching will primarily be left to me. So certainly, considering personal limitations is important, as I know that I'm not immune to being "burnt out" - been there, done that.

On the same note, and addressing LM's pointers..

1. Yes I can endure repetition but in a homeschooling environment I don't know how thin my patience will wear, to be honest.

2. Yes.

3. Depends on the subject but then again, I get to pick what I want to teach, right? My strong suits are Language, English, and any Arts..

4. Yes.

Do I have a chance if numbers 1 and 3 are "maybes"?

I can already envision myself doing the "free range" education. But I'm a really free-spirit that way. I rarely follow manuals, and tend to wing stuff as I go. Not sure how good a characteristic that is, especially, when it comes to putting your child's education in your hands.. Well, you have given me food for thought, and I'm really pondering your personal experiences and advice. I really want to do this, and I wish more people in my life would take homeschooling seriously, or at least be supportive to the idea when I share my thoughts on it. I have some time yet to become informed on homeschooling with my husband, which will ultimately be the difference between it happening and not happening. Any suggestions in how to convey the "essence" of what homeschooling is without reading books or blogs on it? DH is just too busy to sit down and read through articles and blogs of homeschooling parents. Maybe there's something on YouTube that you would recommend that covers what homeschooling is for dummies?

Thanks again, and I'd love to hear from more homeschooling parents. Maybe if there's any mothers that are doing it or have done it. How did you cope, or how are you coping?

Yes you have a chance! You have control. When you patience runs thin, and it will, then you change what you're doing and its easier to change things up when its just you and your child or children.

You get to pick what you teach and you graduated from high school right? Therefore you have the elementary math skills you need to start. When your child gets to a level you don't feel comfortable with you enlist help from other home schooling parents, or other resources. There are even online classes for children who move faster than parents can keep up with.

You won't know until you try. You have a few years to decide if you want to formally home school. Your daughter is young. Teach her what you can now, she's not too young to learn. Even toddlers learn to count quickly, say their ABCs and colors. Just start... the very least you'll do is give her a good start before Kindergarten.

[Bini]

★☆

LM, great video! Wasn't quite what I was thinking but the message was well received, and clear.

This ventures off topic a bit but I just wanted to add some more thoughts. Our society has really developed into a "technical" one. What's interesting to me, considering the "old days", is that a profession wasn't achieved through fancy education but through lifestyle or life experience. Young girls became nurses by experience, not by attending nursing school. They would shadow a more experienced individual, and learn hands-on what a nurse did. There were no texts books. In war times, many girls volunteered to help, and gained their medical knowledge through daily duties of tending to the sick, wounded and dying. I understand that this isn't how our world functions today, especially with all the legalities that are involved, and the fact that we're in a sue-happy society. My point, more or less, is that there's so much that can be taught outside of a structured environment. A lot can be learned, and perhaps a real passion can be developed, versus just doing it and going through the motions.

[Vort]

Yep - here you go:

Somewhat more supportive than this version: