Rabboni Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished.Hm. How many have you interviewed?And, of these, how many started using pornography/mb after they were married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Why do I have a feeling that "withholding sex from them" in Rabboni's context means, "Isn't as readily available to sate their sexual desires as their hand or pornography?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished. I guess you haven't talked to many porn addicts' wives whose husbands withhold sex or aren't able to be aroused by their wives anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished.You should start hanging out with a better class of married men, methinks. Quite a few of us - even repentant porn users - have basic understandings of fundamental notions like "choice" and "accountability". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished.Just how many married men have you talked to about their struggles with masturbation and pornography? And why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabboni Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Just how many married men have you talked to about their struggles with masturbation and pornography? And why?Multitudes, in my capacity as a priesthood leader.And you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Multitudes, in my capacity as a priesthood leader.And you?Oh boy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Multitudes, in my capacity as a priesthood leader.And you?Why do you ask? Did I make a claim somewhere about being privy to the masturbatory/porn consumption habits of multitudes of men? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 (edited) Multitudes, in my capacity as a priesthood leader.And you?For myself: Many, many, as a recovering addict.If you are a priesthood leader, I'm sure you've dealt with many porn users who were caught red-handed and tried to blame their wives.If you're doing your job properly, most of them will ditch that line of argument pretty quickly. I suggest you familiarize yourself with the topic, and quickly. Otherwise you're doing your congregants an enormous disservice. Edited September 15, 2012 by Just_A_Guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martain Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 I hear of those who, being addicted to alcohol, seem convinced that they will always desire to drink and the best they can do is to never actually do so.I hear of others who, being same gender attracted, seem convinced that they will always feel such attraction and the best they can do is never actually act on such feelings.Then there are those who, being addicted to pornography/masturbation, are convinced that they will always desire these things. What, is the power of Christ Atonement so limited as to be unable to change our hearts to where we no longer even desire to sin? Where does such an idea come from if not the Devil? Certainly not the scriptures for there we find the opposite taught instead.As we repent of our sins, giving up every impure thought and act, the Holy Ghost will change our hearts so we no longer have even the desire to sin.(Reference)Mosiah 5:2 And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do bevil, but to do good continually.Alma 13:12 Now they, after being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God, could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence; and there were many, exceedingly great many, who were made pure and entered into the rest of the Lord their God.The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real and it has the power to change your heart to where you no longer even desire to look at pornography or masturbate. This power is unlocked when, with sincere and wholehearted repentance, we turn to and trust in our Savior Jesus Christ.He Heals the Heavy Laden DALLIN H. OAKS - Of the Quorum of the Twelve ApostlesI can tell you this my brother, in regards to the power of the Atonement, I speak from personal experience./Martain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someldsdude Posted September 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 Martain, I appreciate the link to the talk. Very good talk and I have read it thoroughly. Unfortunately the article does mention that sometimes the savior may not take away all such desires. "But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.". I just trying to fully understand this process, as it appears that such weaknesses are given so we can remain humble. I find it hard not knowing if such desires will be fully taken away or not, I don't wish any man to have desires to look at pornography. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb789 Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 Martain, I appreciate the link to the talk. Very good talk and I have read it thoroughly. Unfortunately the article does mention that sometimes the savior may not take away all such desires. "But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.". I just trying to fully understand this process, as it appears that such weaknesses are given so we can remain humble. I find it hard not knowing if such desires will be fully taken away or not, I don't wish any man to have desires to look at pornography.This is a good point - sometimes, though our hearts are in the right place, and we rely on the Savior and thus receive forgiveness of our sins and the helping power of His grace, the desires themselves do not, at least immediately, cease. Remember, even Nephi lamented how easily he fell to sin (after having many revelations and personal visitations!), and Paul spoke of his "thorn in the flesh", he himself being an elect of God.The power of the Savior is that he can heal us and make up the difference - yet, this does not mean we get to a point, before being resurrected, where we are without flaw or mistakes. I don't think, until one is resurrected, this is even possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martain Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 True, but isn't it his decision to make rather than yours? Do you know for certain one way or the other what his will is in regards to healing you of this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb789 Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 True, but isn't it his decision to make rather than yours? Do you know for certain one way or the other what his will is in regards to healing you of this?I cannot speak for others, but for myself I've certainly felt the Spirit indicating that in time, with patience and diligence, such a weakness can be overcome. But to think it can be overcome immediately is not the case. I've felt the Spirit on many occasions confirm that God is understanding of our weaknesses - and that often he will not immediately remove them, so that we can learn humility, reliance on the Saviour, and patience. This really is a never-ending process - we will never get to a point, until resurrection, where we aren't having to work on something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All_Apologies Posted September 23, 2012 Report Share Posted September 23, 2012 Dear SomeLDSDude:So many people suffer with sexual addictions. I suffer from a sexual addiction. So many times I tried to stop on my own. But I could not. I was powerless. But there is hope for us. There is a solution. For the past couple of months, I've been attending Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. They are so wonderful. This program helps people who are addicted to stop with the help of their Higher Power (God) and with the help of the fellowship. This program is helping me so much. Maybe you would like to become involved with SA also. Maybe it would help you. Here's how you can find meetings:Meeting SearchAlso, addictionrecovery.lds.org has a 12-step recovery program. There are probably meetings in your area. Prayers sent up for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All_Apologies Posted September 23, 2012 Report Share Posted September 23, 2012 Martain, I appreciate the link to the talk. Very good talk and I have read it thoroughly. Unfortunately the article does mention that sometimes the savior may not take away all such desires. "But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.". I just trying to fully understand this process, as it appears that such weaknesses are given so we can remain humble. I find it hard not knowing if such desires will be fully taken away or not, I don't wish any man to have desires to look at pornography.SomeLDSDude, I learned something very strange in my recovery from sexual addiction. So many times (SO Many), I begged God to take this away from me. He did not. Then I realized......God is a gentleman. He will not take away my agency. He will let me choose to do evil things. Remember in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Savior asked Heavenly Father to let the cup pass from him. God did not let the cup pass from the Savior. But the Savior also said, "Not my will, but Thine be done." And God sent an angel to strengthen Him. I've learned one thing I need to do is surrender my right to lust. Not only that, but I have to surrender Me. Part of me, my addict, needs to die in order for me to really live. And I daily surrender my will to God's will, praying daily to know of His will for me and to have the courage to do His will. It is so hard. But I'm making progress, though I don't have perfection. When we stop acting out, sometimes if feels that we are going to die. Seriously. It can feel that way. But one minute at a time, one hour at a time, 24 hours at a time, we can stop acting out. And we find that not feeding the addiction does not kill us! :)Lust, by definition, does not satisfy. It creates cravings that make even more lust. And eventually you feel as though you're starving to death but haven't died. But there is hope...May you find it. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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