Broken Family Broken Ideas

[ctr2961]

I have come from a broken home where abuse, control, negativity, and distrust is common. Now I have been divorce twiced with both of my ex's in fear and tears of me. I left the church because the church keeps focuses on family first. I hear the word families, and I associate it with abuse. I hear the word of love and I assoicate it with control.

Can anyone recommend any books or literature on how a family is truely supposed to be?

I have been going to counseling about this and my social anxiety, but I am noticing that I still don't have a normal concept of family. I talk to my bishop and he is unsure what to say.

Robert

[Guest]

The scriptures would be an excellent place to start. Jesus spoke a lot about how husbands and wives should be to each other. The Book of Mormon speaks of our roles as parents. The Doctrine and Covenants will tell you how to be a righteous priesthood leader.

[Connie]

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

[ctr2961]

I am having problems with understand the scriptures and the family proclamation. Sunday school has always been hard for me to understand the lessons about the scriptures. I do fall in tears when I read the family proclamation and remember what I have done.

I was looking for something written more by recent prophets and leaders. I am looking for a preceptive of how to overcome my abusive and negative behavior and become a good father and husband.

Something like "Standing for Something" by Gordon B. Hinckley. This book was given to me recently and I remember why I want to be in the church.

[Windseeker]

Here are some books I highly recommend

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family

Amazon.com: Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family (9780380711345): Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish: Books

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

Amazon.com: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families (9780307440853): Stephen R. Covey, Sandra M. Covey: Books

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Amazon.com: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (9780802473158): Gary D. Chapman: Books

[mrmarklin]

I have come from a broken home where abuse, control, negativity, and distrust is common. Now I have been divorce twiced with both of my ex's in fear and tears of me. I left the church because the church keeps focuses on family first. I hear the word families, and I associate it with abuse. I hear the word of love and I assoicate it with control.

Can anyone recommend any books or literature on how a family is truely supposed to be?

I have been going to counseling about this and my social anxiety, but I am noticing that I still don't have a normal concept of family. I talk to my bishop and he is unsure what to say.

Robert

Couseling is a good option. I have a very good friend who went through two wives before he realized he needed to find out whether it was him or her. A lot of it was him and he was able to change (with help) and is now married for over 25 years.

It can happen.

try this book out by Dr Laura Schessinger: Bad Childhood Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood. HarperCollins. 2006

Edited September 13, 2012 by mrmarklin

[ctr2961]

Thanks for the books listings, I have the Stephen Covey Family book already. I have been going to counseling for the last 3 years after my 2nd divorce.

The counseling works only for a small part and I still repeat the same mistakes because I don't know what to do.

I am looking for more doors and learning material to relearn ideas of a family and be a better person than being a negative user.

[Windseeker]

Hey one more book I would recommend

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life: Martin E. P. Seligman: 9781400078394: Amazon.com: Books

I have been divorced once and I'm doing everything I can to make things different. But old ways of thinking are difficult to overcome. This book should help you in all aspects of your life. Using cognitive techniques you can do this.

That one by Dr Laura is looks good too.

[annewandering]

If you are not finding solutions and understanding in your counseling then get a new counselor. They are not one size fits all.

Abuse is not easy for most people to overcome. You were abused for many years at a critical lpoint in your development and learning. Trying to x out the old and relearn things your family should have taught you is not going to be a short journey.

Learn about the true love of Christ and it will help you very much. Once you take that truth into your heart it is going to be easier to learn to trust again.

Christ and counseling can change your life.

[Martain]

There once was a point in my life where I was enduring afflictions so painful as to lead me to cry out to the Lord in prayer to bring me home so I wouldn't have to continue to suffer. I was very broken and even the therapy I was going through seemed to make little to no difference.

Then my therapist spoke of someone she had gone to see and what she spoke of intrigued me. The technologies are is called Zyto/Evox. The principle of why I recommend them to you is based on the idea of each person having a stress bucket. The size vary from person to person but when ever the stress exceeds the capacity of the bucket... life gets bad.

Even though it didn't remove the cause of my suffering, it did help me resolve other unresolved issues to where the pain (stress) it causes me more easily fits into my bucket and the overflows are less often. I walked into their office praying for death and now I no longer feel that way.

I'm positive it would help you and if you want more info, simply let me know and I'll share more about how it worked.

Feeling for your sorrow,

Martain