Fallout from the new missionary ages

[Guest Doctrine]

"Marriage resumes"?

Is this a Utah thing? 'Cause I have never met a guy who said they only wanted to marry a return missionary.

I am a convert so the whole thing about return missionaries was new to me.

but alot of girls were saying they will only marry a return missionary.

I served a mission after being one year in the church, and when i got home I said to the girls I only want to marry a return missionary too.

If iam going to be judge like that then i will judge the same way.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

So yes i married a return missionary. and she is wonderful

[carlimac]

Return missionary was number two on my list, after a college education*. After the announcement, my wife and I had discussions about how we have failed to instill in our daughters the importance of missionary service, and that we really need to begin to prepare them now. With this new change, I am even more glad that I chose a wife with missionary experience, because she will be able to relate to my daughters on this topic in a way that I never can.

*My goal was to hit 6 or 7 of my top ten. I got 9 out of 10 with my wife, having only missed #1 (which may yet still change).

I bet #1 was "blonde". Yes that can change!

[Vort]

I bet #1 was "blonde". Yes that can change!

Funny. I always thought my wife would be a brunette. I loved dark hair. When I dreamed about my future wife, she always had dark hair. Then I married a blonde, and I look back in amazement that it never occurred to me that my wife might have blond hair.

[carlimac]

"Marriage resumes"?

Is this a Utah thing? 'Cause I have never met a guy who said they only wanted to marry a return missionary.

No, I don't think it's just a Utah thing. I think all throughout the Church and even beyond girls are encouraged, sometimes in subtle ways and some not so much, to develop a sort of resume (not written but it becomes a sort of mental list) to attract the opposite sex. In the world it's focused more, of course, on looks and mannerisms. In the church the focus is on developing spirituality, talents, smarts, radiant wholesome looks, home making skills like cooking and childcare abilities. I can see "returned sister missionary" as a potent resume padder.

[carlimac]

I feel exactly the same way. I've seen so many of my girl friends post on Facebook "Definitely going now!" "Guess this is an answer to whether I should go or not! Starting my papers now!" And it actually kind of worries me.

For the most part, since the time that I've received my patriarchal blessing, and because of some of the things written in it, I've been preparing to go on a mission when I was 21. I'm 19 now and still my tentative plans (further discussion with the Lord may be required) for going in the Spring still alarms me and I'm even slightly worried as to whether I will be prepared spiritually, mentally, and physically for this change in time frame.

While I'm not saying that the Lord won't help those who he's called, and probably many of these sisters have been preparing for a while, or are even stronger and farther and further ahead of me on their spiritual journey,it is frightening to think of so many of these girls jumping into missions thinking it'll just be a lot of happy, warm, fuzzy moments for a year and a half only to be shocked as to how it really is. Last year, before all of this, we already had one sister come back after 3 months because she couldn't handle the rejection.

I'm sure many of these sisters are strong, but I'm not sure if they've completely thought things through. Just because the minimum age was changed, doesn't make it a requirement.

Does anyone else have thoughts on this?

I wrote a little piece on Madame Brooks blog yesterday but she didn't leave it up. (She doesn't like me because I oppose her vehemently) In it I described the realities of my mission. Yes there were many fun, envigorating and spiritually uplifting experiences but the grueling, lonely, frustrating, and downright hard outweighed them. I made a list to try to show all these sad, sad women who got married early that maybe they didn't miss out as much as they thought they did. I think they have glorified missions, but not having been on one, they don't know what it's really like. If they've read about the hard stuff, they don't want to acknowledge it.

Now this isn't to discourage you, and mind you I was in an unusual situation being a welfare missionary 30 years ago (I was a nurse) and we didn't have a very definite job description so we were flying by the seat of our pants a lot of the time. We were supposed to teach stuff we had no experience in (how to be a RS president, how to conduct a correlation meeting, how to get people in very dirty living circumstnces to improve the sanitation of their homes and nutritional value of their food on 0$ (and do it all in Spanish). So it was pretty frustrating at times. Anyway, I listed lots of the agonizingly hard things for these feminists with their heads in the clouds to read and consider. I'm frustrated she took it down. But oh well. I'm not going to try anymore on her site.

I agree. Most of these 18-19 yr old girls really aren't going to be sufficiently prepared for the rigors of the mission if they intend to go in a few months. Many will adapt and come through with flying colors. But for many it's going to be a very rude awakening! I think now that the cats' out of the bag with this new policy, there needs to be some deliberate and intensive preparaton courses specifically for women taught right away.

Edited October 11, 2012 by carlimac

[classylady]

I agree. Most of these 18-19 yr old girls really aren't going to be sufficiently prepared for the rigors of the mission if they intend to go in a few months. Many will adapt and come through with flying colors. But for many it's going to be a very rude awakening! I think now that the cats' out of the bag with this new policy, there needs to be some deliberate and intensive preparaton courses specifically for women taught right away.

I'm thinking whether 19 or 21, most missionaries have a rude awakening to the rigors of missionary service. And that includes both men and women missionaries. I remember at my missionary farewell, my older RM brother spoke, and he said "I think if classylady realized how hard and difficult this is going to be, I don't think she'd be going". A mission is difficult whether male or female. Both male and female missionaries have returned home because they couldn't take it. All prospective missionaries, regardless of gender, need to be prepared.

I wouldn't trade my missionary experiences for anything. I loved my mission. But, it was sooo disheartening at times. It was hard on me both physically and emotionally. But, the spiritual experiences I had, and the love for the people I served, far outweighed the difficulties of the mission.

[carlimac]

I'm thinking whether 19 or 21, most missionaries have a rude awakening to the rigors of missionary service. And that includes both men and women missionaries. I remember at my missionary farewell, my older RM brother spoke, and he said "I think if classylady realized how hard and difficult this is going to be, I don't think she'd be going". A mission is difficult whether male or female. Both male and female missionaries have returned home because they couldn't take it. All prospective missionaries, regardless of gender, need to be prepared.

I wouldn't trade my missionary experiences for anything. I loved my mission. But, it was sooo disheartening at times. It was hard on me both physically and emotionally. But, the spiritual experiences I had, and the love for the people I served, far outweighed the difficulties of the mission.

I agree. I'm just especially concerned about the young women who are getting swept up in the enthusiasm and are perhaps not really good candidates for missionary service. It's certainly not my place to judge the sincerity of anyone but my own daughters. I just know how susceptable girls especially can be to peer pressure. Not even pressure, but the intense desire to be a part of the cool crowd. And right now, girls serving missions has become the coolest thing to do. Just my perspective.

[dahlia]

This is a little OT but everyone seems to use this film, Downfall, for some type of parody. If you ever want to watch a great movie about the last few days of Hitler, this one's it. Now back to the regular topic.

M.

I've seen the movie. And you're right, it is excellent. I used another Hitler parody in class the other day (Hitler, as "Downfall" producer, orders a DMCA takedown) and urged the students to watch the original.