Tithing / Limited-use recommend / Husband's income

[lmh3]

I'm a new member and am looking to get my limited use temple recommend to do baptisms at the temple. One thing is stopping me from setting up the interview with my bishop though and I'd like your input. I'm a stay at home mom with no income of my own. My husband supports me entirely, but since he has become active again in the church he has not yet resumed paying tithing. So when I am asked if I'm a full tithe payer, I'm not sure if it's a yes because technically I have none of my own income, or not. I realize if we really looked at my husband's money as "his" then perhaps I wouldn't have any guilt about it. But the truth is that I do feel partially responsible for the tithing not being paid because I know if I had sat down to figure out the numbers (his income is a bit complicated with mileage reimbursements, etc) and made the push then it would've been done, yet for some reason I didn't and just assumed he'd take care of it.

The missionaries did mention that the interview is similar to a baptismal interview, and that made me wonder if there's a difference between interview questions for different recommends, since I know the regular recommend interview includes things not in a baptismal interview. The limited-use recommend would have a tithing question though, yes?

Anyway, just not sure how I should answer that question. Are there any other stay at home spouses here? When you answer the tithing question do you consider whether or not it's been paid from your spouse or do you feel comfortable saying yes because really you have no income so you're not responsible for it?

Sorry for the long post, I'm just feeling rather conflicted! Yes I've prayed about it but I'm still stuck.

[Vort]

Explain the situation to your bishop.

[Guest SquidMom]

Vort is right. But in my opinion, if you are stay at home mom, your husband's income IS your income. It belongs to whole household and I think it should be thought of as a joint responsibility as far as tithing. There have been times when my husband and I have had to switch roles of stay at home parent and financial provider. We never thought of it being my money or his money, because we were both working, despite only one actually earning an income. Stay at home parent is a full time, 24/7 job. When both parents are working,(according to families that I know, anyway,) tithe is figured on total household income and made in a single payment.

I have no idea of the "official" rules of it. So, yes, explain to your bishop. Talk to your husband, too, and maybe he will sit down you to get it done, if only simply to ease your mind.

[lmh3]

I have told my husband about this dilemma and he, not wanting to be the one stopping me from getting my recommend, said "It's not your fault I haven't payed it, and you don't have a job so you're good." I think he's just trying to not let me feel guilty about it. But I told him I do feel partly responsible, so we have plans to sit down this evening and work out the numbers. I think I answered my own question when I wrote the post, and that's that I'm not a full tithe payer. After all, we do share finances in every other respect so why would it be "our" money except when it comes to tithing. I should've taken more responsibility for it.

We'll still explain it to the bishop, as he was hoping we'd make it to a new member trip to the temple on Friday. I think it's weird that he encouraged us to go, but I guess he doesn't keep a list of who's paying and who's not on the top of his head.

Anyway, thanks for your replies :)

[mnn727]

If you have 0 income, you pay 0 tithing but are considered a full tithe payer.

Your Bishop will tell you this.

[jayanna]

When I was active and staying at home, but my husband was not active and working...2 bishops told me that I could only pay tithing on my income which was 0. I attended the temple with a limited use recommend for 4 years while waiting for my husband to get the priesthood. When I was earning income I paid tithing on my income (well for a couple of years I accidentally paid too much because I had a home daycare and didn't know what I was doing with all of that), and was not expected to count his income at tithing settlement.

I did eventually give up waiting on him to walk the line and went to the temple for my own endowments. Best decision I ever made. He saw this huge change in me, my joyful countenance, and wanted to go too. He did get ready and went to the temple about 10 months after. That is just us though, really the Spirit will tell you when to go for endowments, you will feel it. It is great, like being in heaven.

[BadWolf]

From a legal standpoint... A SAHM (or SAHD) income IS their spouse's income.

- Taxes

- School Aid (FAFSA)

- Federal Aid / State Aid (WIC, welfare, etc.)

I haven't been able to go to school for a year, because until my divorce is final, my income counts as my soon-to-be-ex-husbands. We've been sep for over a year, and Im only JUST being able to (Well, come Jan 1) start applying for aid.

Nice thing about the church, they're not including my STBXH's income as mine (ESP since I make 5% of what he does, that would be tricky!), and I know one other person with a totally abusive spouse who does not allow her any access to their money (yes, legally she has 100% access, but practically, through no choice of her own... She's not able to access family funds... She could if she wanted to be beaten for it... But the bishop isn't asking her to take a beating to pay tithing. Currently she's trying to save up enough to leave him.).

Which, to me, is a key distinction. Through mutual agreement my ex and I each had an allowance that was "ours" to spend as we pleased. BUT we never put our 'allowance' money as our income. That was a budgetary decision.

I obviously cannot speak for your bishop, nor would want to!, but unless its an abuse situation or other extraordinary circumstance, I would be surprised if your household income wasn't counted as your household income.

[idahommie]

As a stay at home Dad, with a non-member wife, my income is about 7% of my wife's income. I pay tithing on my income, I am considered a full tithe payer. I do continue to encourage my wife to pay tithing(she does make donations on our behalf and pay fast offerings). It's been a struggle to get my wife to attend church with us and even to allow our children to be baptized, so baby steps do work.