Bini Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 My niece is with us for the holidays and she's been great but I think she's a bit bored. She has never said that she's bored but I sense it. I've made an effort to get us out and sightsee all the festivities but there's only so much before you've seen-it-all. Maybe she's enjoying the slower paced life? Ha ha. I was on the phone not too long ago with a girlfriend of mine, and she has a son that is 26 and single. Would it be inappropriate to see if my niece is interested in going out on a date with him? We weren't really thinking along the lines of playing matchmaker (after all she's going to be returning to California) but more along the lines that these two could have fun together, that's all. Is that too weird? Alright, maybe I've been watching too many Hallmark Holiday romance movies.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volgadon Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 My niece is with us for the holidays and she's been great but I think she's a bit bored. She has never said that she's bored but I sense it. I've made an effort to get us out and sightsee all the festivities but there's only so much before you've seen-it-all. Maybe she's enjoying the slower paced life? Ha ha. I was on the phone not too long ago with a girlfriend of mine, and she has a son that is 26 and single. Would it be inappropriate to see if my niece is interested in going out on a date with him? We weren't really thinking along the lines of playing matchmaker (after all she's going to be returning to California) but more along the lines that these two could have fun together, that's all. Is that too weird? Alright, maybe I've been watching too many Hallmark Holiday romance movies..Seems perfectly fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 That depends. If she's 13, then I think it may be somewhat inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 That depends. If she's 13, then I think it may be somewhat inappropriate.LOL.She's eighteen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 She's eighteen.26 is a bit old for an 18 year old. An 8 year difference in age is okay if the girl is 25 & older, and the guy is 33 & older. BTW, I was 20 when I met my 1st husband and he was 27 - from hindsight, I should have been looking for 20-23 yr olds. Are there no 18-22 year olds (both genders) in your Ward? I would go that route, before I would have a 26 yr old male entertain her. From FB, some of the LDS mothers in my realm of friends have been sharing is a teen FB page and basically it says ~ how cute, she is 14 and he is 18, that is not a relationship, that is babysitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selek Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 I would suggest a group date, rather than a one-on-one. Otherwise, it looks too much like matchmaking. And stay away from the Hallmark and oxygen channels until at least new Years Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Thanks for the input. Group date doesn't sound like a terrible idea but I tend to feel like that's more appropriate for young teens and not adults. But saying that, the date is to get out and have some fun, so maybe that would work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 At 18 years old I would say she's old enough to take responsibility for whether she's bored or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selek Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the input.Group date doesn't sound like a terrible idea but I tend to feel like that's more appropriate for young teens and not adults. But saying that, the date is to get out and have some fun, so maybe that would work out.As a general rule, I agree- but this is a "fun" event, rather than a "courting" event, so group activities are still appropriate.Or as one of my daughers would say, "Dad, it's a date, not a 'date' date."Speaking strictly as an over-protective parent, in my opinion, throwing them together on a solo date has a number of drawbacks.First, it looks like "matchmaking", and while the yenta was a dear in Fiddler on the Roof, even they realized what a pain she could be.Second, a group provides "camouflage". There is also safety in numbers. One-on-one the onus is on the couple to make small talk and get to know one another. There are fewer "distractions" and any mistakes are more glaring.The group chatter provides more avenues for socialization and minimizes the apparent magnitude of any faux pas. If he and she don't hit it off, the evening is liable to be awkward and miserable- if they are in a group, they've got other people to turn to to help make the evening enjoyable. Group activities are harder to arrange, but they're also inherently safer on a number of levels.In the interests of full disclosure, I have four daughters ranging from 22 to 15. My oldest is getting married in 21 days. And single dates still make my fingers itch......that reminds me. The shotgun hasn't been cleaned since that feller with the sportcar came round.... Edited December 9, 2012 by selek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Why don't you give her a computer, set her up for an LDS.net membership and let HER tell us how bored she is??? 1) No dating involved. 2) Let her gripe about it, instead of you. 3) She can use the computer for facebook and other time-wasting activities. Well, it's an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2012 Good additional points regarding group dating. I can especially appreciate the point of if they don't clique. Hopefully it would be less awkward with more people around, in that case. Skippy, she is not LDS. Nice girl but soooo not into organised religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted December 10, 2012 Report Share Posted December 10, 2012 Maybe go running with her. Exercise is good for boredom. It fills the time and you get tired so you don't mind having down time when you are finished. My guess is she probably gets bored at home, too. Maybe you can do a craft project together? Maybe collect blankets, food, etc... and deliver it to a shelter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Maybe go running with her. Exercise is good for boredom. It fills the time and you get tired so you don't mind having down time when you are finished. My guess is she probably gets bored at home, too. Maybe you can do a craft project together? Maybe collect blankets, food, etc... and deliver it to a shelter?She doesn't run but watches baby while I do. Great idea about the charity work. Some friends and I did a grocery (food) giveaway during the month of November on Craigslist. We donated to that but this was before my niece arrived. Good ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Bini - you know full well that the solution to boredom is MOVIES!!! Or just give her the keys to your car, google maps, and tell her to go places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Bini - you know full well that the solution to boredom is MOVIES!!!Or just give her the keys to your car, google maps, and tell her to go places.LOLSpeaking of "maps".. How are you liking the Map update on the iPhone5? I've heard a lot of complaints about it but I'm liking it.. That said, I tried to find a Walgreens (not in my neck of the woods) and it SPECIFICALLY told me to take a right turn when I needed to take a left! Messed everything up! Grrr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 LOLSpeaking of "maps".. How are you liking the Map update on the iPhone5? I've heard a lot of complaints about it but I'm liking it.. That said, I tried to find a Walgreens (not in my neck of the woods) and it SPECIFICALLY told me to take a right turn when I needed to take a left! Messed everything up! Grrr.I wouldn't know because.............. I don't have an iphone 5. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Yeah, we didn't give each other anniversary presents this year because we had to replace our 10 year old car... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dove Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 Bini; Your post evokes feelings of dread in me. Mainly because I often feel responsible for other's mood when I am in the position of entertaining them/playing hostess/being with them. And when they seem unhappy, it really eats at me. I feel like their frame of mind is my fault. I would suggest creating a safe atmosphere in order for her to open up and let you know her state of mind/emotions. Maybe she's happy with the way things are and you just don't know it. Maybe she's naturally low key. I don't know. Just do your best, do a lot of listening, and try to get to know her. Most people like to be listened to, regardless. She may really enjoy just going on a walk and talking with you. At least you may get some clues as to her likes/dislikes and can go from there. Best of luck Dove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 Mainly because I often feel responsible for other's mood when I am in the position of entertaining them/playing hostess/being with them.Oh I entertain them. I have them doing dishes and helping with the laundry. The boredom leaves quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dove Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 Suzie; Where's the LOL button when I need it?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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