Really Need Help...Long and Detailed Sorry

[mnn727]

i am still confused on if it SHOULD be confessed to the bishop.

if the relationship was sexual, then the answer is yes. To use the old baseball metaphor if you got past 2nd base it was sexual.

My husbands sins did get out through the Bishop, that's why I am worried. He told the EQ President who then told his presidency, which then my husband left.

. . .

And he is going to be released in the next month or two .

Sexual sin is something you need to talk with your Bishop about. Normally I would advise you not to wait, however, hearing these two things, I may wait until a new Bishop is called. I would also discuss with him your need for privacy as you did with us. Having been in a Bishopric there are things I have heard that will go to my grave undivulged to anyone but the Lord in prayer, I never even told my wife.

Details should have never gone to anyone outside the Bishopric, the only thing that should have been told would be if a member is disfellowshipped or excommunicated (to those that needed to know) was that the person was not eligible for: callings, saying prayers, HT/VT Details NEVER should have been disclosed. When you are done you can put away all these questions and doubts.

If you go to a Church court over this there will be: the Bishop, his two counselors and the Ward Clerk.

As far as giving the name of the other woman, I would wait and see if you are asked. It may or may not be better if you tell her yourself that you have been asked (assuming you are). You could also tell the Bishop that you are uncomfortable discussing who the person was and see what he says, it will be up to him whether he believes he needs to know the name of the person. If she is still a member of your Ward I would think he would, if she is not then I am not sure, he holds the Keys about this, not me or anyone else on this board.

I really do wish you well, the process may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Edited January 17, 2013 by mnn727

[synergy13]

I appreciate all the comments and advice and straightforwardness on this board. I am grateful to have such loving bro and sis as you all are in this dark period of my life. I am thankful beyond measure that I have a Savior who willingly took upon Him my sins and horrified at the thought of my disregard for Him that my actions and thoughts demonstrated.

Thank you again.

[BadWolf]

,

I never mentioned he was excommunicated because he wasn't. He took off before any church discipline could take place. He moved three times to avoid bishops. I don't know if he has ever been through one.

I would suspect THIS is why/how things got "out". His own actions. If he kept moving to avoid confrontation, then more, and more, and more people would need to be told.

I can't say that if he'd stayed and dealt with things head on that it wouldn't have gotten out... But, certainly, it wouldn't have had to have been passed on to so many people.

[synergy13]

No actually it got out first, then he moved. Then when my Bishop tried to contact his next Bishop he moved shortly after. Then he and his girlfriend moved out of state where they were married the week after our divorce.

[Justice]

One option is to talk to your Stake President first and tell him your concerns about confidentiality for your kids.

No matter what you decide, I wish you the best.

[pam]

Justice is that really you???

[synergy13]

Again, thank you all. I spoke with my bishop and he was the most loving, compassionate, kind person. I came away knowing my Heavenly Father loves me. Thanks again for all the support on this board.

[Justice]

Justice is that really you???

Absolutely!

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Again, thank you all. I spoke with my bishop and he was the most loving, compassionate, kind person. I came away knowing my Heavenly Father loves me. Thanks again for all the support on this board.

Synergy, I am so glad for you! Glad both that you talked to your Bishop...I'm sure that was hard and took some courage, good job! And that he responded in a way that made you feel loved by Heavenly Father. That is the way it should be! So happy for you.

Thanks for letting us know, I was wondering how you were doing.