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I have been dating a girl for almost 6 months now and things started off amazing. After a couple of months in we began to have issues with the law of chastity (heavy petting) and we got that cleared up with our bishops and then things got better after that. Recently we have began to have some issues with touching each others butts under clothing and I touch her boobs under clothing as well when we are making out. Sometimes I'm the one that initiates and other times it's her so it goes both ways. I have been hurt and so has she but with my kind of personality how I see it is to forgive and then work towards proving that it wont happen again. She has a lot harder time forgiving me because she says that if I truly loved her that I wouldn't do it to her. She has started to work through some depression that she has had since she's been home from her mission and she says that I shouldn't put her this kind of thing since she is going through that. I haven't intentionally tried to do any of this and I haven't intentionally gone into a situation with it on my mind to do these things. What can I say/do to help her understand that I do love her and that it wont happen again? She's taking some time to think things out but I need to know how I can help her realize that I'm sincere in my apology and that I will do everything it takes to make it right.

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Actions speak louder than words. Quit putting your hands where they don't belong.

If you really just can't help yourself, stop being in situations where you have the time and privacy to get to that point.

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My first thought was does she reverse these feelings when she initiates? Does she not really love you? Does she apologize to the extent that she expects you to?

You said she is struggling with depression... is she receiving counseling? If not she may want to consider it. Not just for the depression but it seems she has some misconceptions about the body and sexuality. That could lead to problems for her later when "it's ok".

If you do get more serious and decide to get married I would suggest considering some pre-marital counseling. Based on what you describe there are some red flags you need to address. Not just what is happening (need to behave yourself) but more the reaction to what has happened.

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You situation is a little more severe than mine was (from what you wrote). I remember when I wrote on a comments board, everyone was like that seems like a red flag(because the way I wrote it, I would agree now) but I ended up getting married and best decision of my life.

she says that if I truly loved her that I wouldn't do it to her.

:huh: Thats a very false statement. Its because you care for her you do those things (depending if its a sincere relationship or purely lustful one which may be how she is looking at it). However, its also true if you care for each other you will do all you can to be worthy and wait till marriage. I struggled with heavy petting while dating for over a year. It wasn't until we were engaged we had motivation to stop. Because we had something to look forward to (a light in the tunnel to release our emotions). We did date 2 years though almost as I wanted to make sure my emotions and our relationship was in the right place (get over the "love" stage of something new).

Talk to her. Be open about it. Get her to realize you are not using her "for lustful things" but you care. How to do that is a difficult question to answer :lol:. Remember how she deals with her problems now will be the same for marriage. So make sure you guys can have an open relationship even if you do get at each others nerves, or problems occur (which are normal).

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Its because you care for her you do those things (depending if its a sincere relationship or purely lustful one which may be how she is looking at it).

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

:D, it does make no sense.

I mean to say there could be two reasons for the statement.

1) She thinks the guy is only in the relationship to get some action.

2) She thinks "if you care for each other you don't sin with heavy petting" which is partially false.

Whether someone is sinning together has nothing to do with how you care about each other. It has to do with self control and their desire for sexual activity (more so for Guys). People who care for each other could be very obedient or very disobedient. But if you care for each other you will also try to find a way to work at it even if you keep failing to be worthy of each other if they also have a strong belief in the gospel.

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