Need Help!!

[Chrissy3818]

Okay so I did break up with him or more over told him I needed 2 weeks to think and process this. I broke up with him because I thought God was telling me to. Maybe he was so I could figure or what I am figuring out now.

This happened again with my last relationship after the Guy broke my heart I thought God was telling me he was the one I am going to marry. I got a yes. The same way I felt with God telling me to break up with my now boyfriend.

I think my fears our making it seem like what God is telling me when maybe it's the last thing I want to hear so I feel like God it's telling me that.

Would God really tell me I'm to break up with someone who is an awesome guy or tell me I an gOing to marry the last person I want to.

I also pray if I'm going to marry the Guy I just dumped and when I think clearly I feel we'll be together for a long time. When I'm surrounded by fear I Feel like it's not possible. That God wantsto make my life complicated.

Does God really care who you marry or who you're with as long as they fit you and are good for you?

If there are any red flags I'd know it's time to end it. But there are none. Maybe satan and my fears are over powering God. Does God really who your with? Doesn't he you choose. Why am I so based on God knows who I'm suppose to be with and it's only that person. How can I live in the moment and just realize these are my choices to make and not his.

[mnn727]

Does God really care who you marry or who you're with as long as they fit you and are good for you?

.

In my opinion NO, God doesn't get involved in that area, we are expected to be wise servants not need to be commanded in all things. I think there are probably hundreds or even thousands of people we could marry and if we were true to our Covenants and worked on the marriage would have a very happy marriage with any of them.

I think its just wishful thinking by the person that says "God told me to marry you (or break up with you)" and shake my head at the manipulation going on when someone says that.

Edited July 18, 2013 by mnn727

[EarlJibbs]

... This happened again with my last relationship after the Guy broke my heart I thought God was telling me he was the one I am going to marry. I got a yes. The same way I felt with God telling me to break up with my now boyfriend.

I think my fears our making it seem like what God is telling me when maybe it's the last thing I want to hear so I feel like God it's telling me that.

Would God really tell me I'm to break up with someone who is an awesome guy or tell me I an gOing to marry the last person I want to.

I also pray if I'm going to marry the Guy I just dumped and when I think clearly I feel we'll be together for a long time. When I'm surrounded by fear I Feel like it's not possible. That God wantsto make my life complicated.

Does God really care who you marry or who you're with as long as they fit you and are good for you?

If there are any red flags I'd know it's time to end it. But there are none. Maybe satan and my fears are over powering God. Does God really who your with? Doesn't he you choose. Why am I so based on God knows who I'm suppose to be with and it's only that person. How can I live in the moment and just realize these are my choices to make and not his.

Fear doesnt come from God. Remember this. So if you are making decisions based on what you think may be inspirational fear. It is most likely not Heavenly Father. This is advice for me also, as I am afraid to say yes to a nwe job, and I was starting to think that the fear was from Heavenly Father, which it wasnt. Fear can make us alert, but we should not make decisions based off of them.

My strong personal opinion is that God has given us our guidlines to be married, but not to whom. There is not one person or "soul mate" out there just waiting for you or them to be snatched up by their true love. make your decision on marrage and then let God know your righteous desire to marry that person. I dont think you need to ask "is this the right person?" Rather, "this is what I am going to do, but I submit to your will"

With that said, I am married to the one person I cannot live without. Not because it was predetermined, but because we made it this way. Best of luck.

[Anddenex]

Does God really care who you marry or who you're with as long as they fit you and are good for you? .

Yes, I believe, through the counsel of our prophets and apostles that God does care who we marry. I also believe, we are all unique individuals and some of us have received specific counsel regarding prayer and praying concerning a young man/woman upon we we like and are considering as an eternal companion. Does God answers these individuals prayers? Yes.

Example, please note - this experience seems very uncommon, nonetheless, if God didn't care this wouldn't happen. A friend of mine had been dating for sometime, and one day he went on a date with a young lady. She had also been dating a young man seriously and were about to be engaged. He prayed, knowing the Lord would answer his prayer, and while she was on her way with this other man to tell his parents of their engagement, she received a dream. How hard this must of been for her to receive such a prompting, end the relationship and then marry my friend. She ended the relationship as a result of a dream which was the result of my friend's prayer to God.

It would be nice if we all had such faith, and if we all received such answers, but for the majority of us we don't. In light of this, I would recommend these words from President Kimball, and Elder Packer (The first quote is from President Kimball, the second from Elder Packer):

“‘Soul mates’ are a fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price” (“Marriage and Divorce,” p. 146).

“While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love. If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based. You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you. You are to do the choosing. You must be wise beyond your years and humbly prayerful unless you choose amiss” (Eternal Love [salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], p. 11).

[Gwen]

So I'm gonna share what isn't the most popular opinion. I am by no means saying it is everyone's situation or experience. I am not saying it's what I think you are experiencing.

This was my experience, that's it.

I seriously dated a great guy who met all the "qualifications" one would be looking for. All my friends were "planning the wedding" and even my parents were supportive. We both prayed about marriage, not together and didn't talk about the fact that we were going to pray about it beforehand. I got my answer, he wasn't "the one". We were meant to meet and date but nothing more. He called me up for a date and said we needed to talk. I just knew what he wanted to talk about. He got a similar answer, we were not to take the relationship any further. That was our last date and I was devastated.

Some time later I met another guy. He was nice, fun to talk to but didn't really fit "my list". And yet things just kept growing. There was a bit of an age difference and he had been married before with a son. At 20 that's not really what I was looking for. Every time I tried to back off I was pulled back, not really sure why. I decided that he was like the other, there was something I was supposed to learn from dating him so I went from there. I never directly asked if he was "the one" because I didn't really want to know. I got a very clear answer anyway. After I accepted the answer my feelings for him grew very quickly. That's when I figured out why I had to know the first guy. I needed the experience of learning that what seemed good to me may not be what the lord wanted for me. I needed to hear a no and learn to trust it. I also needed to learn that there is a lot we don't know and had to trust god on that unknown.

That lesson has come back to me many times over the last 12 (almost 13) yrs. It hasn't been easy. The things I saw as red flags did cause problems for us and not always easy to overcome. There were times that I desperately wanted something and was told firmly "no". There were times that I felt like I was in an arranged marriage, this wasn't who "I" picked, it was who god told me I was going to marry. But we are making it work and have amazing kids.

Like all marriages it's work, no matter how you go about the choosing you will have to work at the relationship.

Though I don't think everyone has the experience I did I do think god cares who we marry. There is way too much counsel in the scriptures and from latter day prophets on the subject for him not to care. In fact in the scriptures god arranged marriages all the time, not a new concept. lol

[Gwen]

God brings ppl into our lives for all kinds of reasons.

You have to figure you out before you are ready for marriage. All marriage is work and there will be hard times to overcome. Get yourself straight and the rest will work itself out.

[Gretchen]

I've been in a simaler situation. I met a guy, grew very fond of him, but had major issues that I had to work through, and decided it best to avoid guys for a while.

Perhaps if you tell him how you've been feeling, that you are fond of him, but have things you need to work through before you want to get in a relationship, he will understand. Perhaps he was brought back into your life so he could help you in some way, but that does not mean you won't occasionally need your space.

[estradling75]

Zurie I just combined your 4 different threads asking basically the same question... It makes things easier for other posters when everything is together.

Please use this thread for further discussion/updates. Thank you