am currently investigating the church

[denise5189]

Hello!

I will start my story from the beginning. Two years ago, two young men knocked on my door. Now, normally, i was one of those people who did not answer or very politly said no thank you, not interested. Something, that day however, made me interested, so i scheduled a day to meet with them. They came and i liked what i heard, even went to church with them! Now, i was 9 months pregnant, father was not in the picture, plus a mom of two other AMAZING children, life was just at that point...depressing, and i let it get the better of me, and slowly, quit talking to the missionaries. Now, I feel like I am missing something spiritually, have hunted through churches and couldnt find it, my heart always led me to the lds church, and those missionaries, so i contacted the missionaries again, and went to church on sunday, it was wonderful! I feel so happy! My son ho is nine loves it and reads the book of mormon nightly. I am afraid...however...of how my non lds family will view this. My mom says she supports me in all that i do, even said she would come to my baptizim if i choose to be baptized....i am just afraid this will change...or even my friends for that matter...altho i dont have many since my views are somewhat different. I also smoke...and i know this will hold me back from baptism......i pray nightly....i know heavenly father is listening and wants to help me.....i am just unsure of the first steps to take here.....is there any help/advice/opinions? Also what can i expect from the missionaries during this time? They seem very, standoffish, or even pressuring...towards me...could be my qnxiety thats making it appear that way too lol...who knows! Thanks in advance to anyone who has a word of help here....i am also doing this on my phone so plz disregard type-os lol....thanks again!!

[Lakumi]

I too am investigating, though I went there by my own accord. I do get the same feeling of slightly pressuring towards me, but it could be just me (I don't think they understand the sheer scope of terror I feel)

I have my own vices that either I should give up or don't want to give up (things I disagree with the church about, and wonder if I should join, I can't just change who I am and what I believe) I would just be joining the church to be a lousy Mormon, and what's the point of that?

I do know the missionaries like, teach you, then there's an interview process.

What I advice is go there a few times, really get a feel for the atmosphere and the people.

Can you see yourself spending every Sunday, at least, with them?

[denise5189]

I understand what you mean by terror....thats where i stand.....im scared...its not an easy decision to make, and altho my heart leads me to it, its a scary change from the norm. I think we probably all some sort of vice, and i know mine are unhealthy and i do eventually want to see myself smoke free. I do plan on continuing to go to the church, as well as meet with missionaries, thats great advice....from one investigator to another....i wish you luck on your journey...wherever it may lead you :)

[bytebear]

My advice is talk to the missionaries about your concerns. Also, attend church. Get to know your fellow church goers. You will find a huge net of friends there. And pray and maybe even fast to help give you strength. It sounds like your mom is going to be supportive, and I think your friends and family will see a change in you (or maybe already have seen a change in you). Some will try to scare you away, but I am guessing that most will see you happy, and that will be something they can't argue against.

Good luck and God bless you.

[Lakumi]

My advice is talk to the missionaries about your concerns. Also, attend church. Get to know your fellow church goers. You will find a huge net of friends there. And pray and maybe even fast to help give you strength. It sounds like your mom is going to be supportive, and I think your friends and family will see a change in you (or maybe already have seen a change in you). Some will try to scare you away, but I am guessing that most will see you happy, and that will be something they can't argue against.

Good luck and God bless you.

I could never do a fast, without a steady stream of water and other liquids I get incredible pains (mostly in my head)

then I get irrational... some people can gain positives from it, I just go ape:lol:

[pam]

I could never do a fast, without a steady stream of water and other liquids I get incredible pains (mostly in my head)

then I get irrational... some people can gain positives from it, I just go ape:lol:

Some people can't do a fast because of medical issues.

[Lakumi]

Some people can't do a fast because of medical issues.

I never got anything diagnosed but all I know, is that I can't go without fluids (food is a tad easier, but still I get... I donno, spacey)

[TalkativeIntrovert]

I think "spacey" is the goal - to let the spirit in :)

I am surprised the missionaries seem standoffish, I can understand pushy at times. It helps to have an understanding that the missionaries are young boys who have probably not been out of home before, they are all at various stages of their mission from just stepped out the door to ready to go home. Each f them also has a unique personality and view on things.

I suggest being honest with them about how you feel. That you are searching, you are willing to learn but you are not happy to have undue pressure. We have had a couple of instances in our home where we have had to tell over-exuberant missionaries to back off. That is rare, and I look back and see it for what it is - they are so full of the spirit they can't understand why we weren't jumping into the font :) Mostly they are excellent young men doing the best they can to spread the gospel.

As for smoking, ask the missionaries if there some quit programs in your area, a few years ago the missionaries actually ran some group with the general public, which I found unusual but also inspired! I am sure you know that it wont be easy to give up, but you CAN do it. Just think of the temporal blessings alone of giving up - more money, better health, example to your children, etc - these all matter regardless of whether you decide to join.

As a first step, have you read the Book of Mormon? Can you read it with your son - I think that is a great place to start.

[Lakumi]

No when I say spacey, I mean delusional and will change emotions on a dime.

It feels like the room is moving, swaying

Is that what letting the spirit entails? if so it is a terrible feeling to endure waiting for it

sobbing in a crumpled mess on the ground then screaming for the crickets to shut up is certainly not the best time to ask God serious questions

[TalkativeIntrovert]

I took spacey to mean roomy/vacuous/empty. In the case you describe Lakumi, I suggest a doctor!

[Lakumi]

I took spacey to mean roomy/vacuous/empty. In the case you describe Lakumi, I suggest a doctor!

that's only when I am deprived of water:lol:

okay I understand what you mean, I think...yeah I understand

[denise5189]

Im spacey enough as it is lol....im sure no one, especially God wants me spacier but spacey can mean so many terms, and i get what youre saying for sure!! Sometimes I have questions, and it seems that they arent avoiding them per se, but like they are avoiding me? Idk...makes no sense because then I could go on about how i do feel pressurized at times so to speak. I do understand that lds or not, these are young boys, and no one is perfect by any means, i think their intentions are very good, and upon reflection i think this can be something to do with my personality, anxiety, and worry. I am meeting with then again on saturday, and they are bringing another member of the church, so that might help a little :) regardless of which path i choose, i DO want to quit smoking, i want to feel healthier, and show my kids that smoking really isnt the right thing to do, but having more goals to reach through quitting, silly to admit, might help as well. I did ask the missionaries about a quit smoking program, they said there is one, so im curious to see if that would help. As for reading with my son, i do think thats a good thing, and i think thats something i will start doing with him, we are both learning and growing, so why not do it together!

[dahlia]

I don't know if all wards have this, but we have a smoking cessation program. You might ask your missionaries if your ward has such a program.

As a convert myself, I knew of investigators who smoked. Even with the smoking, they still came to church, which I think is helpful. Don't let imperfections stop you from attending church and feeling the spirit just because you still have to work on the smoking.

[Quin]

Nicorette rocks.

I chewed gum while I worked, so that was no good (because I was still smoking, all the gum did was make me want to smoke), and patches were awful, but switching to the lozenges when I quit for real did the trick. Not saying true for all, just that I found what worked for me. I'm ADHD, so ill probably be on Nicorette forever, or close enough. Most people only have to pay through the nose for a few months. Switch, and then gradually lower the dose & frequency. I also got half shanghai'd into a quitting smoking blessing. Which, quite frankly, was amazing.

I was a single mum as an investigator (still am, in point of fact, Men are awesome but I have no desire to be dating them in the near future)... "My" missionaries were former army, AirForce ROTC, and older siblings in large families. They were totally comfy with me. Some of he later ones (as a member/new member) get VERY nervous until they get to know me.

There's rules about single females. To protect the missionaries and to protect the single females. (Like no meeting alone, or inside). Add in boobs (nursing), sex (where the kids come from), not wanting to be offenive about either, and being afraid of other people's kids, etc. as many young men are... Much less newer missionaries, only children, etc. ...

... And you end up with "they're more afraid of you than you are of them!"

It does come out fairly "stiff", or standoffish. And then they know at, and try and overcompensate... And you get the exact mix you're talking about.

Not that there's anything wrong or scary about YOU (or me, or whomever)

They don't want to do anything wrong. And while its stereotypical that Mormons are big families, a LOT aren't. They're not used to nursing, diapr changes, talking at normal levels during nap time, that kids aren't breakable, etc.

Q

[denise5189]

Even tbough i smoke, i am not allowing that to deter me from my faith, rather it be lds or any other. I think we all have our own battles we have to fight, and no matter what religion, we all are not perfect, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes i feel like the outcast of many things due to me being a single mother, almost as if people think i intended to be single with three kids lol. And then you add smoking on top of that....can make ya feel like the black sheep if ya know what i mean. Anyways, missionaries told me they will discuss with me the seven day smoking cessation program tomorrow, does anyone know anything about it? I do want to quit, but i am very nervous about it...old habits die the hardest...and i think this one will have a harder time dying.