Role of the Relief Society President?

[slamjet]

I'm not trying to be critical of the church, although this post might sound like it, but I have a question of what the role of the Ward Relief Society President is. This stems from my work as a facilitator in the ARP program and a discussion I've had with a High Councilman as well as other sisters in the church.

I've come to understand that sisters really have no real comfortable way to deal with any personal demons they may be fighting. For example, a woman in the church who has a pornography addiction, and I've heard this from a few women that are open to talking to me about it, are highly uncomfortable talking to a Bishop about it and almost feel it's inappropriate. So my question is why can't they talk to a Relief Society President and get guidance from them? Is it because they're not the "judge in Israel" or is that not what the calling is designed to be?

It pains me to hear the frustration of these sisters who want to get past these personal problems but have a really hard time taking the first step, which is confession.

[Dravin]

I'm not trying to be critical of the church, although this post might sound like it, but I have a question of what the role of the Ward Relief Society President is. This stems from my work as a facilitator in the ARP program and a discussion I've had with a High Councilman as well as other sisters in the church.

From the CHI concerning the role of a Relief Society President:

Ward Relief Society President

The Relief Society president has the following responsibilities:

She serves as a member of the ward council. As a member of this council, she participates in efforts to build faith and strengthen individuals and families (see chapter 4).

She meets regularly with the bishop to report on and discuss Relief Society and welfare matters.

At the bishop’s request, she visits homes of members to evaluate welfare needs and suggest ways to respond to them (see 9.6.1). In the absence of the Relief Society president, the bishop may assign a counselor in the Relief Society presidency to respond to an urgent need.

She submits recommendations to the bishopric for sisters to be called to serve as leaders and teachers and to fulfill other callings in the Relief Society. In making these recommendations, she follows the guidelines in 19.1.1 and 19.1.2.

She coordinates ward Relief Society welfare efforts during emergencies.

She teaches other Relief Society leaders and teachers their duties, using this handbook as a resource.

She oversees the records, reports, budget, and finances of the ward Relief Society. The Relief Society secretary helps with this responsibility.

Link: Relief Society

So my question is why can't they talk to a Relief Society President and get guidance from them?

They can.

Is it because they're not the "judge in Israel" or is that not what the calling is designed to be?

You can't confess to your the Relief Society President in the same sense as you do to your priesthood leader and she won't be entitled to the same revelation that a Bishop will, and yes it pretty much boils down to it not being within her stewardship to receive such revelation or deal with confession of serious sin. The Relief Society is not a organization intended to be a parallel to the Melchizedek priesthood organization of the Church, it is a an extremely valuable auxiliary to it (as is the case with Primary, Sunday School, Young Men, and Young Women).

Edited October 4, 2013 by Dravin

[Wingnut]

I've come to understand that sisters really have no real comfortable way to deal with any personal demons they may be fighting. For example, a woman in the church who has a pornography addiction, and I've heard this from a few women that are open to talking to me about it, are highly uncomfortable talking to a Bishop about it and almost feel it's inappropriate. So my question is why can't they talk to a Relief Society President and get guidance from them? Is it because they're not the "judge in Israel" or is that not what the calling is designed to be?

It pains me to hear the frustration of these sisters who want to get past these personal problems but have a really hard time taking the first step, which is confession.

This is a huge concern that is shared by members of the Mormon Feminist movement. There are many lonely women out there who might be happier and feel less isolated if this was an option for them.

Last year, we had a 5th Sunday meeting that was led by our stake ARP person, and he said that our stake has three types of meetings: one for spouses/family members of addicts, one for men addicted to pornography, and one for women and men addicted to anything. Not needing it myself, but knowing that there is a great need for it, I asked about a meeting for women addicted to pornography. I think I heard a few people laugh, and the facilitator looked at me like I was crazy for even suggesting such a thing.

[MrShorty]

In my opinion, it depends on what you feel the purpose of the confession is.

If you feel this is a sin that requires confession to a Bishop to receive "absolution" (it's not the right word, because it has a very specific meaning in Catholicism, but I can't think of a better way of explaining my meaning right now), then a RS president is not the right person. I personally am not convinced that this falls under that umbrella, but many do.

If a woman is looking for someone who will "mourn with those that mourn, etc.", then I expect a RS president might be a good choice. For that matter, each one of us has covenanted to support each other in our trials, which could (should?) include helping each other overcome sin. It seems that a lot of addiction recovery programs talk about having an accountability partner or similar. I don't see any reason why a RS president would not be an acceptable, if not a preferable choice, over a Bishop.

In terms of overcoming sin, seek help from whomever you feel will be best able to help you and with whom you feel most comfortable. When it comes to resolving sins that require confession to proper priesthood authority, then use the Bishop.

[Vort]

I'm not trying to be critical of the church, although this post might sound like it, but I have a question of what the role of the Ward Relief Society President is. This stems from my work as a facilitator in the ARP program and a discussion I've had with a High Councilman as well as other sisters in the church.

I've come to understand that sisters really have no real comfortable way to deal with any personal demons they may be fighting. For example, a woman in the church who has a pornography addiction, and I've heard this from a few women that are open to talking to me about it, are highly uncomfortable talking to a Bishop about it and almost feel it's inappropriate. So my question is why can't they talk to a Relief Society President and get guidance from them? Is it because they're not the "judge in Israel" or is that not what the calling is designed to be?

Of course they can talk to and counsel with the RS president. That is one of the reasons she is there. The RS president can offer guidance and counsel and give other help as appropriate. Of course, the RS president cannot speak to any ecclesiastical points of repentance and forgiveness, e.g. she can't impose disfellowshipment or otherwise speak authoritatively to the member's spiritual status. That is the bishop's job.

[Just_A_Guy]

I don't think you can divest the bishop of his scriptural role as common judge in Israel. But I would think it would be strongly advisable for a female dealing with sexual sin, to have a third person present during her confession to the bishop. It's tempting to have this role default to the RS President, but I'm not sure it's really fair to expect that of someone who is already so burdened (Just_A_Girl is currently in an RS presidency and it's giving me a new perspective on some things). Maybe we need a new calling in the Church, for a "mother confessor" to accompany women to these kinds of meetings with their bishops?

I wonder whether we might want to work towards a bit of a cultural shift in the Church, in which a strong addiction recovery program (one for males and one for females, maybe with extra male/female groups specifically for porn or sex addiction where there's an LDS population that warrants it) would be built up in each and every stake; and where members struggling with sexual sin would be encouraged to go to the group first, find a sponsor there, and then bring the sponsor along when the member finally feels ready to go and confess to the bishop.

Skippy, didn't you say not too long ago that some significant changes are in the offing for the ARP? Do you have any "inside info" on this that you could share?

Edited October 4, 2013 by Just_A_Guy

[slamjet]

My stake has a dedicated female pornography addiction group and we had a couple of sisters attending for a while, but they moved or moved on so now the group is in a holding pattern. It really is a shame because there has to be a need for it just on statistical grounds; I know men aren't the only one with this addiction.

But I would like to tell a sister that she should feel free to talk to her RS President as a first step but what I'm reading here is that it's no better than her talking to a good friend first. I guess I was expecting or hoping that the RS Pres would have a clearer ministerial stewardship than just being an administrator and/or friend. Or am I not understanding it?

[rameumptom]

RS Presidents are the bishop to the sisters in a ward. The only thing they are not, is judge in Israel. IOW, they cannot handle any disciplinary actions. However, a wise bishop will ask a RS president to assist in helping such people, when that woman has requested such assistance. I don't see anything wrong with a woman taking her issues to her RS president, who can often smooth the way for her to talk about any serious sins with the bishop. Along the way, she can counsel and comfort as needed.

[Vort]

RS Presidents are the bishop to the sisters in a ward. The only thing they are not, is judge in Israel. IOW, they cannot handle any disciplinary actions. However, a wise bishop will ask a RS president to assist in helping such people, when that woman has requested such assistance. I don't see anything wrong with a woman taking her issues to her RS president, who can often smooth the way for her to talk about any serious sins with the bishop. Along the way, she can counsel and comfort as needed.

No, the RS president is not a "bishop to the sisters". This is a mischaracterization.

It would be a better approximation to say that she is the equivalent of the elders quorum president or high priests group leader. She is in no sense a common judge in Israel, and has no Priesthood authority or calling over temporal matters -- though it seems bishops almost always make heavy use of the RS president in discovering a family's needs.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Confessing to a prudent, discrete and understanding individual instills more hope than merely presenting an issue to an authority figure. Not all Bishops or Relief Society Presidents, possess the mentioned characteristics, regardless of who called them. However, depending on the position, they do have a differing tool belt.

Whatever needs confessing maybe more important and more hopeful than who it is confessed to, as the callous of burden and shame can finally begin to heal. Confession is one of the first steps in the repentance process, so who is usually less important than should.

Edited October 4, 2013 by Praetorian_Brow

[slamjet]

...

Whatever needs confessing maybe more important and more hopeful than who it is confessed to, as the callous of burden and shame can finally begin to heal. Confession is one of the first steps in the repentance process, so who is usually less important than should.

I have no disagreement with this (it's step 5 in the 12 steps) however, I'm coming from the direction of getting guidance through the repentance process. But what it's sounding like is that the Bishop is the only one who can really do that. For some reason, to have as the only option the Bishop for an embarrassed sister to initially go to for sexual indiscretion issues seems to be a topic worthy of tackling, if it's not already being done so.

I think that a balance or compromise would be to have a sister make an initial contact with the RS Pres who can help, start and initially guide the sister on the road of repentance until the sister becomes comfortable enough to go to the Bishop, allowing the RS Pres to accompany her and act as a type of mentor.

But then, it's just me and my idea, nothing more.

[dahlia]

I think the idea of a 'mother confessor' is a good one. Personally, I would not approach my RS leaders with personal problems because they are too young to have enough life experience to deal with them. Maybe in a ward with larger numbers of mature women with various experiences it wouldn't be a problem; I might go to them. But, I can't talk about work to people who've never worked or adult child issues to people with toddlers. And telling me to 'pray on it,' is not going to help.

[Guest]

I'm sure if a woman ever felt too uncomfortable to go to the bishop herself, her RS pres or VT or any friend would be able to sit in with her. That it might not occur to her to ask doesn't mean it's not allowed. Also, I happen to know that RS presidents do a great deal of counseling and helping along in the "repentance process". No matter how much someone might want them to or thinks they should, though, they do not have the priesthood authority to see the entire process through.

[NightSG]

The only title someone needs in order to listen to your problems is friend. Just remember to listen to the Spirit before acting on any counsel they give you, and go to the bishop to confess anything that requires such.

[Vort]

I would also point out that counseling with a Relief Society president is not the same as talking with a friend, in that a Relief Society president, by virtue of her calling, has the right to receive revelation to help and bless those she serves. My family was a recipient of the blessings of just such a revelation while I was growing up, when a perceptive and spiritual Relief Society president offered help to our family, even though she did not know my mother particularly well. She just felt that we were in need.