Mission Question

[gem2477]

So, at the risk of losing my recommend, here are my thoughts. The missionaries work hard. In a lot of places, not only do they have to put up with people who don't want to deal with them (and are nasty about it), but have bad weather, outdoors a lot, walking, bad food, etc.

My feeling has always been that when they come to my house, or when I take them out to eat, that's their time to relax. I enjoy hearing about where they're from, what they do in their home towns or their career plans, etc. I let them practice their lessons on me, and I played the kind of music I like during the meal. I figured if they were in a foreign country and the person wanted to play their native music, the missionaries would never tell them not to, well, rock n' roll is my native music and it's my house. I would make a playlist and choose songs without outright drug or sex lyrics.

I make them Easter bags, Christmas presents, and bring little treats. I buy groceries - the right kind of food, not the garbage they usually eat - so that they can keep their health.

Tonight we had our ward dinner and trunk or treat. As everyone was leaving the parking lot, I noticed our 5 elders hanging around the door. I went up to say goodbye and asked how much candy they'd gotten. Well, turns out they'd been cleaning up and didn't get any candy. Fortunately, I still had a ton left (the Lord works in mysterious ways), and was able to give each a big handful. I guess that's terrible. Maybe I should have made them say a prayer and give e lesson on the evils of sugar.

You can't be 'on' all the time. No wonder some of these kids crack. I don't know, y'all. They're in the same age as college kids who commit suicide due to perceived pressure. I'd just rather they relaxed with me. There's plenty of time for work and prayer.

Thank you. I agree completely. Somedays the only thing that gets me through a long work day is knowing I will be in my overstuffed chair watching TV or curled up with a good book.

[gem2477]

"Non-sensical" rules?

1) Just because they are adults doesn't mean that they are all equally strong on their own. Homesickness can be a problem... and calling home won't necessarily help.

2) There are reasons behind every rule. They are either to keep missionaries safe (such as not swimming), to avoid temptation, or to help keep their focus where it needs to be - which is on the Lord's work. Basically, at some point, someone BROKE the rule before it was a rule... so they made it a rule.

3) Missionary life is highly structured. Structured minds with structured schedules help missionaries to focus on what they need. That means rules, study, and schedules to keep.

Your comparison to Senior missionary couples is ill-founded. Why? Because FAMILIES are CENTRAL to the plan... and with senior missionaries, their posterity is actually MORE important than their actual mission calling. Their rules are also more relaxed because they are serving with the ETERNAL companion. They bring a unique spirit to the missionary service that is extremely beneficial. In short, they don't NEED the rules in order to keep their focus where it needs to be.

And since I just gave the lesson on this two weeks ago:

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow Chapter 19: Missionary Work: “To Reach Every Human Heartâ€

1 - so you are saying not being in contact with family and friends helps with homesickness? I would say the opposite is true.

2- There is not a reason behind every rule. That is ridiculous. I know of some insane rules that mission presidents made that made absolutely no sense and sometimes hindered the work.

3- some people don't work well with that much structure, sorry. I am one of those people.

4- So if their family is more important than their mission, why do they call senior couples at all? Leaving for that length of time would hurt their families if what you said is true. You say that they don't need rules - but why is that? That doesn't make sense

[gem2477]

Missionary work is not like going away to school. It is a unique fraternity that one can only hope to experience in its fullest.

Calling family 2x per year is good enough.

Unwind with music? Sure. But it has to be music that is conductive to the Spirit. (Most missions always approve the Mormon Tabernacle Choir... and some missions allow LDS artists.) Basically, it's up to the Mission President.

Personal note: I had a companion that liked a heavy-metal type of music... and because he rationalized that it was 'approved'... I had to endure it. I wouldn't want that experience on anyone else.

Books? Of course. There is the missionary library as well as the scriptures. But usually at the end of a productive day, I just wanted my bed.

TV? No television or computers are allowed in missionary rooms. Why? Do I have to mention it? Sure. Television shows are a distraction enough, let alone what can be done on a computer.

Missionary service work is done and approved at the direction of the Mission President. I did 4 hours per week as a missionary.

Just because someone is paying to serve doesn't mean they get special treatment.

I know I'm riling up on these, but I think you have a problem with your testimony of the missionary program and how it is put together. Or you're feeling sorry that missionary work seems to be a 'burden'?

So far, the only missionary standards that are being reviewed are dress standards - to allow a more relaxed attire, such as khaki's (if I'm remembering the broadcast correctly). Nothing about extra-curricular activities.

Yes, but if they are paying for the mission, doesn't that mean that they should be able to chose more things for themselves?

I would NOT be okay with only calling family and friends 2x a year. It would not be good enough for me. I would want to hear a familiar voice in a strange place with people I don't yet know.

[gem2477]

Just because one is an adult, does not mean that one does not, can not, or should not follow rules.

I joined the military out of highschool.

I was an adult.

The rules THERE are so extensive, there's an entire code. Specifically, the UCMJ, or Uniform Code of Military Justice.

Which is radically different than civilian rules.

Here are just a handful of examples:

My fingernails could not be more than 1/5th of an inch past the nail bed

If I were to oversleep I could be fined $1000 and sent to jail for 30 days

If I got black eye (or broken ribs, hickey, etc.) I could be charged with "damaging government property"

My hair could not be longer than my collar OR had to be confined above my collar (no fly aways, no hair bands or clips showing... One has to wrap a section of their hair over their ponytail holder. Oh. No ponytails. Highlights, eccentric colors, shaved areas, appearance of multiple braids... The list goes on. The hair & hygiene rules are actually reeeeeally long.)

No blue pens

Cannot go more than a certain number of miles off base (distance changes with weekend, 72, 96, etc.)

Cannot wear BDUs off base

Cannot call in sick (must get dressed, perfectly in uniform, and report to formation & then medical and only THEN can you go home and throw up in sweats)

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rules.

That millions of adults choose to adhere to.

In order to serve their country.

Missionaries choose to adhere to a far less strict set of rules in order to serve their church.

Being an adult isn't a get out of jail free card.

The stakes raise, not lower.

Q

Yes, the military is a job where you get pay and benefits - not so with missionaries.

[Traveler]

Thank you. I agree completely. Somedays the only thing that gets me through a long work day is knowing I will be in my overstuffed chair watching TV or curled up with a good book.

I disagree - many have endured much more difficulties and proven their mettle strong. Life is not about escaping it but in living it.

My mission president taught me that there is no pressure in life unless there is resistance. And to quote Shakespeare - nothing is as good or as bad as it seams only that thinking makes it so.

One thing I liked about being a scout master is taking children with little in the way of life experience into the wilderness and teaching them that they can live life for days and be happy and fulfilled without ear plugs blasting synthetic noise or sitting in an overstuffed chair watching TV or curled up with a good book. Taking time to smell the roses, seeing real things that are not in book or on a TV screen - or internet terminal and other things - is a good thing.

The Traveler

[skippy740]

Yes, but if they are paying for the mission, doesn't that mean that they should be able to chose more things for themselves?

I would NOT be okay with only calling family and friends 2x a year. It would not be good enough for me. I would want to hear a familiar voice in a strange place with people I don't yet know.

I gather that you haven't served a mission and have had to deal with any of these things.

This is why you have no basis for your opinions.

[Jenamarie]

Yes, but if they are paying for the mission, doesn't that mean that they should be able to chose more things for themselves?

They choose to go or not go. Missionaries know what the rules are going into it.

[skippy740]

1 - so you are saying not being in contact with family and friends helps with homesickness? I would say the opposite is true.

Until you have to deal with a companion who is feeling discouraged... you don't know how to handle such a situation.

2- There is not a reason behind every rule. That is ridiculous. I know of some insane rules that mission presidents made that made absolutely no sense and sometimes hindered the work.

Yes there is. I suggest you check your testimony on sustaining your leaders. Even the law of Moses had a purpose behind it, even though most of it was man-made.

3- some people don't work well with that much structure, sorry. I am one of those people.

I can tell. You like to fight against the established patterns of leadership and other areas of the Church. I can tell that in your posting history.

4- So if their family is more important than their mission, why do they call senior couples at all? Leaving for that length of time would hurt their families if what you said is true. You say that they don't need rules - but why is that? That doesn't make sense

It makes perfect sense for those who have served. Families are inspired and blessed by having missionaries serve - regardless of age. They are respected, loved, and discussed as to how they are serving. This helps grow one's faith and testimony within the family. Other blessings may not be so transparent and even be obscure.

I suggest that you do a little homework: Look up the word "sustain" and learn what it means to sustain your leaders.

[Dravin]

The point is why are the telling an adult that they can't talk to their family?

Because experience is that it interferes with focusing on the work. The point is to separate themselves and focus and constant calls home interfere with that. I'm sure you disagree, but that's the point. You seem to be operating under the idea, quite silly, of, "I'm an adult, nobody gets to tell me what to do!"

Can't an adult have enough faculty to know if what they are doing is inhibiting their missionary work themselves?

Each individual missionary lacks the collective experience of the organization, thus rules, because it's more efficient than each missionary reinventing the wheel. What I find interesting is when Eowyn pointed out they are adults and they know what they are getting into you minimize the potency of their faculty, here you showcase it.

1 - so you are saying not being in contact with family and friends helps with homesickness? I would say the opposite is true.

I would say he's correct based on my experience as a missionary.

2- There is not a reason behind every rule. That is ridiculous. I know of some insane rules that mission presidents made that made absolutely no sense and sometimes hindered the work.

That you don't agree with the reason behind a rule doesn't mean there isn't a reason behind a rule. A rule saying, "Don't wear purple ties." because a hypothetical mission president thinks they'll provoke the mole people into attacking the missionaries has a reason behind it.

Yes, but if they are paying for the mission, doesn't that mean that they should be able to chose more things for themselves?

No. Maybe if a mission was a vacation I could see that, but you seem to be incorrectly trying to apply, "I'm the customer, I have it my way."

I would NOT be okay with only calling family and friends 2x a year.

Then you could discuss with leadership if an exception can be made to accommodate you, and if the answer is no then you get to decide if you are going to go on a mission or not.

Edited October 25, 2013 by Dravin

[skippy740]

The point is why are the telling an adult that they can't talk to their family? Can't an adult have enough faculty to know if what they are doing is inhibiting their missionary work themselves?

Nope. These 'adults' are LEGALLY adults... but that does not mean that they are fully matured.

[Guest]

I'm not allowed to have my cell phone on me at work, because phones were proving to be too much of a distraction and employees were abusing the privilege. I think that's pretty standard for a lot of jobs. That doesn't mean we're being stripped of rights, it means they have to have rules to optimize focus and efficiency.

[skippy740]

So you are saying breaks are not necessary for well-being? Or to help you perform better in your work?

Your view of missionary work sounds like you think it's slavery in the name of the Lord.

Missionaries submit their will to the Lord and the mission rules, but they are not doing endless work. It's not like working a hard laborious job for 12 hours straight.

Sometimes they teach (and can sit down).

Sometimes they are in a zone conference with their other missionary elders and sisters.

Sometimes they are on a preparation day (it's preparation day, NOT "p'-day.) :)

Sometimes they are on exchanges with other missionaries for a break from their companions and for zone leaders to check up on skills.

Sometimes they are giving service - within the community or within the ward.

Sometimes they are going out on splits with others with the ward.

Sometimes they are on bike, and sometimes they are in a car.

Sometimes they SING as they tract! (I did this.)

I studied for missionary awards to become the best missionary I was capable of becoming. I memorized the discussions, various scripture passages, and read the "missionary library". All this greatly helped.

Your view (and most other people's views) of missionary work make it sound boring, tedious, torturous, fasting and praying 24/7, and no personality at all whatsoever.

I had FUN for my missionary service. It wasn't a sacrifice. I was well blessed for my service. Yes, it was hard work, but it was a great journey.

For me, I did leave when I was older - 21. I was ready then. I wasn't in the right frame of mind at 19. Maybe that had a function of my experience.

[Leah]

because these things would help missionaries well being.

and because they are adults.

What does being an adult have to do with it? There are mission rules. When you go on a mission, you follow the rules. There are rules everywhere, why should a mission be any different?

Are you under the misapprenhension that when you are an adult, there shouldn't be any rules?

[Leah]

well, there is pressure. a ton of it. both on the mission and before.

I've never been blessed for obeying non-sensical rules. if threre were a reason, senior couples would have those same rules.

This post makes no sense whatsoever.

[Guest]

The point is why are the telling an adult that they can't talk to their family? Can't an adult have enough faculty to know if what they are doing is inhibiting their missionary work themselves?

You know, that's what they all say at my work!

"Why is our internet access cut off? Don't you think your employees are adults and know better than to go on lds.net on their work hours?"

Each job have its own requirements that require certain rules to be followed - working at the grocery store, you can't have visible tattoos or this scruffy look at a lot of young people sport nowadays - it's either you are clean shaven or have a well-trimmed mustache/beard. No goaties. No visible piercings aside from regular ear piercings - not one of those ginormous holes that makes your ear hang to your shoulder. You can't call family unless it's an emergency during work hours. No music or reading or phone calls. While you're at work.

Resident doctors are on the job for 72 hours straight. In this 72-hour shift, you have to follow hospital policy. There's no downtime - or if there's a rest period you are very limited in what you can do within that time.

Etc. Etc.

The job of a FULL-TIME missionary is 2 years of 24/7 work. 18 months for the women. You don't have an 8-5 job. TWENTY-FOUR/SEVEN. That's the job. Even your Prep day is still On-the-job. Even when you're sleeping you're on the job. You are expected to perform as required as a representative of Jesus Christ for 730 days straight. No distractions are allowed during that time that could make you lose focus on the work. And because you're an adult, you're expected to understand this when you accept the calling. If you don't think you can handle it, then don't sign up. If your work is just boring and no fun, then you're doing the job wrong.

"Ohh but the peer pressure to go on the mission is sooo bad..." Hey! You're an Adult! We're treating you as one and not a teen-age kid!

Edited October 25, 2013 by anatess

[Just_A_Guy]

The point is why are the telling an adult that they can't talk to their family? Can't an adult have enough faculty to know if what they are doing is inhibiting their missionary work themselves?

You might be surprised at what many "adults" don't have enough of. The simple fact is that, while these missionaries' hearts are in the right place--their brains haven't fully formed yet.

And FWIW, experience is that pretty much every mission-specific rule we had (and we had a lot of 'em, and I hated most of 'em) was a direct response to some disaster or other that could have been averted had the rule been in place--and observed--earlier.

[skippy740]

This looks like a fun time to me:

Basically, your missionary service is whatever you make of it... so make it a good one if you decide to serve.

Edited October 25, 2013 by skippy740

[Guest]

So you are saying breaks are not necessary for well-being? Or to help you perform better in your work?

A regular job has breaks so you can pee and eat and do nothing. That's it. You can't just go get drunk somewhere then come back to the job. Even if you're a timecard kind of worker where you don't get paid for breaks.

So, I have no idea what you mean when you say Breaks. A missionary's job is 24/7. Breaks are on the job... that is - when they're on break, they're still missionaries and have to represent Christ. So, they can't just do anything on breaks. But, they have a lot of things they can do on breaks. In fact, unlike regular 8-5 workers, they can take a break anytime they want if they need to rest.

I think you're idea is that if they're not free to do ANYTHING then they're not on break. Wierd outlook of a break but hey, if that's what you mean by break then no, missionaries don't get breaks. They are missionaries 24/7.

[Guest]

Thank you. I agree completely. Somedays the only thing that gets me through a long work day is knowing I will be in my overstuffed chair watching TV or curled up with a good book.

Which is fine. Because your work is only responsible for you 8-5 (or whatever hours they pay you for) so the work rules (you can't watch TV while you're at work, I'm sure) only apply from 8-5.

But, if your employer is responsible for your night time, then their rules extend beyond that so if they have a rule that says you can't watch TV in your overstuffed chair, then it's either you find another way to unwind besides watching TV or you quit your job.

Example of this is professional NFL players. They are the responsibility of the franchise during NFL season. So, they have to follow NFL rules from September to December - or if they get to play-offs, even longer even while they sleep. Of course, NFL rules are different than missionary rules.

[gem2477]

You might be surprised at what many "adults" don't have enough of. The simple fact is that, while these missionaries' hearts are in the right place--their brains haven't fully formed yet.

And FWIW, experience is that pretty much every mission-specific rule we had (and we had a lot of 'em, and I hated most of 'em) was a direct response to some disaster or other that could have been averted had the rule been in place--and observed--earlier.

So why are they missionaries if their brains haven't fully formed? What's the point of letting them be ambassadors if they are just going to go crazy and can't think for themselves?

[Guest]

1 - so you are saying not being in contact with family and friends helps with homesickness? I would say the opposite is true.

In my experience, being in contact with my family gets me involved closely with family affairs. There are times when I have to take days off from work so I can take care of family business, otherwise, I won't be able to concentrate on my job for worrying my head off over family affairs.

This, among others, is the reason a missionary is required to leave their family behind when they go on a mission. Girlfriends too.

2- There is not a reason behind every rule. That is ridiculous. I know of some insane rules that mission presidents made that made absolutely no sense and sometimes hindered the work.

Contrary to what you believe, EVERY SINGLE RULE did not just randomly get written into existence. There is ALWAYS a reason behind it. You may think the reason is stupid, but there is always a reason. And at all times, a rule is put in place to eliminate a problem to shape a behavior. So, if you take out that rule, the problem will still exist. So, everytime you want to take out a rule, always try to find out the truth of why the rule is in place so that you can address the problem in a different manner before you take away the rule.

3- some people don't work well with that much structure, sorry. I am one of those people.

If this is something you can't change, then don't become a missionary.

The mission field is great training ground for real life. Every single job has a structure. Even McDonald's has a structure. If you don't know how to adjust your life to deal with this structure, you're not going to go far.

4- So if their family is more important than their mission, why do they call senior couples at all? Leaving for that length of time would hurt their families if what you said is true. You say that they don't need rules - but why is that? That doesn't make sense

They have rules - but the rules for senior couples are different from the 18-25 missionaries.

Most senior couples have children. The rules allow for them to keep in touch with their children because the spiritual calling of being a parent trumps that of being a missionary. On the other hand, you can't be an 18-25 year-old missionary if you are already a parent. So your family doesn't trump your mission.

[gem2477]

Which is fine. Because your work is only responsible for you 8-5 (or whatever hours they pay you for) so the work rules (you can't watch TV while you're at work, I'm sure) only apply from 8-5.

But, if your employer is responsible for your night time, then their rules extend beyond that so if they have a rule that says you can't watch TV in your overstuffed chair, then it's either you find another way to unwind besides watching TV or you quit your job.

Example of this is professional NFL players. They are the responsibility of the franchise during NFL season. So, they have to follow NFL rules from September to December - or if they get to play-offs, even longer even while they sleep. Of course, NFL rules are different than missionary rules.

Yes, but NFL people don't have to be at the game 24/7 for two years straight 14 hours a day.

[Leah]

Yes, but if they are paying for the mission, doesn't that mean that they should be able to chose more things for themselves?

I would NOT be okay with only calling family and friends 2x a year. It would not be good enough for me. I would want to hear a familiar voice in a strange place with people I don't yet know.

So you are saying that going on a mision is all about your needs and wants? If so, you have no clue what serving a mission is about.

[Guest]

So why are they missionaries if their brains haven't fully formed? What's the point of letting them be ambassadors if they are just going to go crazy and can't think for themselves?

Because... the mission field is a treasure trove of knowledge and experience that aids in the proper forming of immature brains...

That is, if... THEY FOLLOW THE RULES.

[Guest]

Yes, but NFL people don't have to be at the game 24/7 for two years straight 14 hours a day.

And that's because it's not in the job description.

I don't get the point.