Dating For Those That Are 35+ Years Old

[Guest Username-Removed]

For the last 7 years I've dated off and on and one things for sure, I'm not very successfull at finding someone thats right for me. Its pretty important to find someone thats spiritual. I can imagine being with someone like that and sharing spritual experiences, going to the temple etc etc. But in all my years of dating and even one marriage, I've yet to find someone that has those same characteristics that I find important.

1) Is it that the people I seek dont have them?

2) Or, is it that they dont reveal that?

3) How do I find a potential future partner thats also interested in the importance of the spirit and the gospel in thier lives?

Any ideas?

[pam]

I have the same question as well though more generalized. I find it difficult at my age to even find ways of meeting or dating people. Without the "bar scene or the "internet relations." I understand where you are coming from WordFlood.

[Guest Username-Removed]

I dated a nice lady last week. We went out to TGIF for dinner. We met through a mutual friend. She is an educator here in Utah, but she didnt seem interested in finding a partner as she talked a lot about her career, and moving away as well traveling a lot. That seemed to engulf the three hours of conversation we had - I think I spoke about 4 or 5 minutes! LOL. But I did have a really good steak!

[pam]

I dated a nice lady last week. We went out to TGIF for dinner. We met through a mutual friend. She is an educator here in Utah, but she didnt seem interested in finding a partner as she talked a lot about her career, and moving away as well traveling a lot. That seemed to engulf the three hours of conversation we had - I think I spoke about 4 or 5 minutes! LOL. But I did have a really good steak!

Hey a good steak is always good.

[Canuck Mormon]

I found that it's hit & miss in the over 30 dating scene. I dated people that family & friends set me up with, nothing Tried going to singles events, lame Even was on an internet site for about 2 years Then out of the blue, I get a :) from this woman on an LDS dating website. That was last July. We are getting married this coming July. The only advice I have is, Keep trying because you never know where you'll find "the one"

Good Luck and have fun in you search

[Gwen]

a couple of thoughts (although may not be helpful) that i had when reading this. though i must say i've never been in the dating game as a sa.

one thing to keep in mind is what women are told by society today. they should have a career, being a wife and mother isn't good enough. i found when i was in the singles some of the ysa sis would focus on what they were doing in school and such in conversation cause they a ) thought being a wife and mother was a given or B ) have been pressured by the world to have other things to say (almost shame for wanting "only" that). as for the sa sis, i found a big part of the reason they focused on the work and such, is they are not ysa anymore and have had to focus on that. they have to provide for themselves, they have finished school and need a place to live and food to eat, due to having not gotten married (or being divorced) they were required to make future plans and goals. they wanted to talk about that, as well as it's what they know. when you have established a life for yourself you want to make sure the person you are marrying is aware of your desires and goals, not have to give that part of you away to be married. most of these sis had no idea that the message they were sending the guys was they weren't interested in finding a husband, most of them were very much interested.

as far as the importance of the gospel in their lives....look at how they live, what is the priority (may take more than one date to find that out). i was stake ysa rep for awhile and i found when my priesthood counterpart would find a girl he was interested in (given we were not in ut almost always required travel to date) he would stop taking care of his chruch responsibilities. he would stop helping plan, he would skip activities. understandable that he was traveling on the weekends to date and court, but he dropped the ball. she couldn't attend the activity he was responsible for? i got left with a lot of the work, most often with no warning that he would not be there. it was hard and frustraiting. i joked a lot about how useless the preisthood are when the have a girlfriend. but i was somewhat serious. so that became a priority of mine, would the guy i was dating put his responsibilities first, at least make proper arrangments not just drop the ball and leave town for the weekend. one of the things that attracted me to my husband. he would tell me, i can't come there i have this responsibility that weekend, but you can come here if you like. sometimes i did sometimes i didn't. if i commented that i had a responsibility he would make efforts to come visit me or no visit that weekend, he enouraged me to fullfill my responsibilities.

[Guest Username-Removed]

ALmom,

I dont have any issues with people that put a high priority on thier career. But, if there is going to be a match for me, that person would have to put the gospel first. The reason is because thats how I do it in my life, and I would want to share my personal goals with someone that has the same goals. Im not interested in dating someone that plans on traveling the world with thier career 50%-60% of the time away from home and no chance of me being there. That being said, I did that for a while myself for two years, Its not my goal at all now. Like I said, this is not looking down on them, but I have found that I must look for someone that matches my own self or it will be a disaster!

[Gwen]

word,

i didn't mean to insuinuate you had issues with anyone. my thinking was that maybe some of the women you meet do have those priorities but aren't communicating that very well. "she didnt seem interested in finding a partner as she talked a lot about her career..." the assumption being made based on her choice of conversation is what got my attention. not that she is right for you or not, or that the assumption is right or wrong. but a situation i've seen come up time and again. women sending messages by their choice of conversation that they have no idea they sent or intended to send. that is all i was trying to say there. maybe she isn't sending the message she wants to send. by all means find the one that is right for you, not a decision that should be made in haste.

[Guest Username-Removed]

ALmom,

Just so you know, not that it really matters, we had met in church and talked for about an hour. Then we also had about 6 hours of telephone conversation as well over two weeks. I came to my conclusions rather well.

At dinner I presented some spirtual conversation, and her eyes glazed over! LOL When she talked about her career, traveling the world, and moving to the east coast ASAP, and then she said, "just letting you know .... " and then spending $50 on a nice dinner and she wouldnt even shake my hand at the end - thats obvious to me! Its possible she didnt realize the signals she was sending. But I think not!

Afterall, thats why we date isnt it? My point is, if its that hard to find out if someone is spiritual, then isnt that in itself a pretty strong signal?

This has been my issue all along. Seems as though the people I date are interested in other things and very few have spiritual concerns. Where are they? Perhaps, when I finnally get my temple recommend, I will find some there - thats what my bishops tells me.

[Maureen]

Maybe your future marriage companion's first husband isn't dead yet. Just kidding, I just gotta take those jabs once in awhile.

But seriously - I've noticed that many women have a tendency to be extremely subtle, so subtle their hints go right over the fella's head. Next time you're at a singles function or you're home teaching single women take note of what they say and do. They could be sending hints that they really want to date you, but they can't just tell you that directly; that would be too easy and straightforward. Pay attention, close attention!

M.

[Dr T]

first date and you were laying out your ideas of marriage with this woman? Sounds like a big deal to jump into with such limited time together. She may have been scared off.

[Guest Username-Removed]

first date and you were laying out your ideas of marriage with this woman? Sounds like a big deal to jump into with such limited time together. She may have been scared off.

HA! Nope, not at all. I never mentioned marraige at all - In fact, I hardly said anything! 3 hours of dinner conversation that was dominated by how important her carreer was and moving from place to place all over the world.

Nevermind! Sorry I brought it up!

Marriage conversation???? Where did you get that out of what I posted???? HAHAHA ... BAHAAhaahaha

Maybe your future marriage companion's first husband isn't dead yet. Just kidding, I just gotta take those jabs once in awhile.

But seriously - I've noticed that many women have a tendency to be extremely subtle, so subtle their hints go right over the fella's head. Next time you're at a singles function or you're home teaching single women take note of what they say and do. They could be sending hints that they really want to date you, but they can't just tell you that directly; that would be too easy and straightforward. Pay attention, close attention!

M.

M.

Its possible, but doubtfull. Thats the problem with these forums - you guys werent there!! so perhaps this was a mistake to have brought this up.

Later ...

[wiley]

Maybe your future marriage companion's first husband isn't dead yet. Just kidding, I just gotta take those jabs once in awhile.

But seriously - I've noticed that many women have a tendency to be extremely subtle, so subtle their hints go right over the fella's head. Next time you're at a singles function or you're home teaching single women take note of what they say and do. They could be sending hints that they really want to date you, but they can't just tell you that directly; that would be too easy and straightforward. Pay attention, close attention!

M.

I think Maureen is on the nose here. I know it is a little cliche to say, but it takes a lot of practice for us guys to recognize the hints and signals. And they can be very, very subtle. We many times just have to take a blind leap at something that might or might not be a signal of interest. Of course, you have to be careful, cause you'll look like a creep if you misinterpret that signal. [*SIGH*]

I got married in my late 20's and my wife and I debate at times what was going on while we were dating. It's fun to go back and get her inside thoughts as to what she was feeling or thinking during this event or that. Believe me, I have been surprised on many occasion. I had no idea what my wife was trying to do at the time. We laugh about it now. I don't know why she stuck with me through our first dates. She also likes to bring up all the subtle things girls did to get my attention while we were dating. I have no idea what she is talking about half the time. There were girls that she said were interested in me, but I thought they were out of my league, and didn't know I was around except for the occasional pleasant conversation. But my wife said she saw all the "signs". I really don't believe her, except that my wife was also way out of my league. Yet she married me, so maybe she was right. The point...I missed a lot, and I thought I had quite a bit of experience in the dating scene.

I think every guy should have a non-romantically involved female friend who is interested in helping us understand what other girls are trying to do. You can call her your "interpretor".

Also, it has been my experience that some people can be very open about there intentions and others will not. What they really want, they keep inside until they feel comfortable enough with a partner to be able to share those desires, whether they be life ambitions or just simple interests. This goes for both males and females. I have met a quite a few who I thought prioritized their life one way, but later found out as we became better friends that they really did have deeper priorities. They just weren't ready to share those feelings with me at the beginning. Sometimes, it takes awhile.

You know, just from what you have told us, she could have just been trying to impress you. The things she was talking about are the things she trusts telling you. If she feels you can accept those, she might be willing to let you in on some deeper desires/feelings. But it might take some time for those to come out. But I could be wrong too.

[Canuck Mormon]

Maybe your future marriage companion's first husband isn't dead yet. Just kidding, I just gotta take those jabs once in awhile.

But seriously - I've noticed that many women have a tendency to be extremely subtle, so subtle their hints go right over the fella's head. Next time you're at a singles function or you're home teaching single women take note of what they say and do. They could be sending hints that they really want to date you, but they can't just tell you that directly; that would be too easy and straightforward. Pay attention, close attention!

M.

AH yes, the games women play. I'm glad the woman I found didn't want to play those games. After our 3rd time going out, once to the Temple, she told me she wanted a relationship. Of course it was through e-mail & I happened to be sending her the same message at the same time. It was quite funny.

All I can say is, keep trying and have fun doing it.

[Vanilla]

As a 30 something single adult female, I was glad to see you post this thread and thought it was perfectly appropriate to post here.

I go to a middle single adult ward (30-45) and I would guestimate that at least 50% (or more) of the female members are VERY spiritual. A great deal of them have served missions and are both active and ACTUALLY practice what they preach! I can only speak for myself, but I tend to be a little more reserved when I am talking about my personal "spiritual" feelings in public or with someone that I don't know very well. I am much more likely to state my feelings during Sunday School or Relief Society, or with a small group of friends. Quick ways to make me shut down completely in a "spiritual conversation" are to attack my beliefs, challenge my testimony, or come off with a "superior knowledge" or "holier than thou" attitude. Again, I can only speak for myself here, but if I were in public place like TGIF, I would have re-directed the conversation away from spiritual topics and maybe even felt the need to keep talking about something (anything) else to keep it out of the conversation. More likely than not, if something was said that made me feel uncomfortable, I would have asked you to wait until we were in a more private area to continue the conversation. Personally, I am one of those people that ramble when I am nervous, so maybe that was also an issue for her as well.

[Gwen]

ALmom,

Just so you know, not that it really matters, we had met in church and talked for about an hour. Then we also had about 6 hours of telephone conversation as well over two weeks. I came to my conclusions rather well.

At dinner I presented some spirtual conversation, and her eyes glazed over! LOL When she talked about her career, traveling the world, and moving to the east coast ASAP, and then she said, "just letting you know .... " and then spending $50 on a nice dinner and she wouldnt even shake my hand at the end - thats obvious to me! Its possible she didnt realize the signals she was sending. But I think not!

Afterall, thats why we date isnt it? My point is, if its that hard to find out if someone is spiritual, then isnt that in itself a pretty strong signal?

This has been my issue all along. Seems as though the people I date are interested in other things and very few have spiritual concerns. Where are they? Perhaps, when I finnally get my temple recommend, I will find some there - thats what my bishops tells me.

i am glad to know that you are paying attention to things not just making assumptions on a first glance and then running with it. i have no way of knowing if what i said applied to you, just something that came to mind when i read the original stuff. i think i did say "a couple of thoughts (although may not be helpful)" lol i am aware that i don't have all the facts and am ok with that. i hope i didn't offend you in any way.

dr t, "first date and you were laying out your ideas of marriage with this woman?" you've never been on an lds dating scene have you? lol i'd go to dances and in the course of a 2 min dance could tell you quite a bit about a guy, maybe not favorite color or anything, but degree working on or earned and if he had any real plans to use it. if he would be able to support a family or not with said goals. there is an understood that you are looking for a spouse, ppl get into "deep" discussion on a first meet.

there is now this thing called speed dating i've heard about, you meet lots of ppl for 5 min at a time, a list of questions to run through and such.....lol first time i heard about it i thought they stole that from lds culture, sounds like a conference without the fun of a dance.

my husband when he was dating never saw lack of interest on either part (his or hers) as something to be discouraged about. he figured it was one girl closer to "the one" if she rejected him all the better, if she wasn't interested he figured he didn't want her for some reason anyway and it saved him the time and money of dates to find out why. that much closer, one more girl off the list. lol i told him that could be called conceit. he says he's not conceited, he's convinced. allthough it is a fine line.

[Guest Username-Removed]

I guess my point is that I dont see the spirituality of most people (man or woman) in church or anywhere else for that matter. I do see it occasionally, but not very often. Im sure there are different levels of spirituality. I'm looking for someone that when they feel the spirit, they act on it. I would prefer that they recognize it, no matter where they are (public place or not). I 'm looking for someone thats not afraid of being more spiritual than me - Because that will only make me learn how to be better. I want someone that when they enter the temple, they recognize the spirit, not the furniture. I want someone that's willing to risk being known as a spiritual person, and not be affraid of what people might say. I've dated 5 ladies in the last few years, and I am far from finding anything remotely close to what I am looking for. Further, I have many "guy" friends, and I have only a few that I can count in that realm.

After being married to somone that was very non-spiritual, and a member, I dont want to even waste a lot of time with someone that has a hard time understanding how Heavanly Father can answers prayers.

Let me give you an example. The night before we went out, I had a dream about her brother. That dream taught me a lot about him and his relationship to his sister (who I was dating). When I mentioned some of those attributes of her brother, she paused for probabaly 2 seconds, and then resumed talking about her career, traveling every week around the world, and finding a man to buy her a ranch in DC.

When I feel the spirit, I recognize it, and I say, "did you just feel that?" or something to that affect. If she cant feel it, how can it direct her life? If we have no direction, what's the point? Im NOT looking for someone that has self direction. Im looking for someone that is directed by the spirit.

I realize this may bother some folks. Im not at all in competition with others in a spirituality "Im better than you" at all. Just looking for somone that has similarities to mine. Im just not finding them. Perhaps Im looking in the wrong place.

Just so you all know, I've met some spiritual Giants in my day, and by no way did I ever think they were 'Holier than thou'. My bishop, my stake president, and my old hometeacher - Incredible people! And I learned alot from them.

To me, there is no substance in talking about careers, money, ranches, or whatever, unless its tied back to something spiritual.

As far as her feeling uncomfortable, what can I say. Some people feel uncomfortable going to church too. But everytime I talk with her, I seldom get a word in edgewise - on the phone, in person or in church.

I was wierd. We have a lot in common as far as disasters preparation. I have studied Mt St Helens, and have been through several earthquakes. Yet she didnt want to hear a word I said on the subject, just kept rambling on about what she knew. From all of that, I got that she wasnt actually that confident with what she knew. But yet, I see she's very proud.

I dont care where I live, I dont care how much I make as long as I have enough for my needs. And if I am blessed with extra, I will use the funds appropriatly. And I dont look at marriage as a way to get a new house or another income or to increase my social stature.

So, where are they??? If they are hiding, If so, why????

[Maureen]

Its possible, but doubtfull. Thats the problem with these forums - you guys werent there!! so perhaps this was a mistake to have brought this up.

We weren't there? You mean this date you mentioned? I'm not talking about the dates you've already had, I'm talking about the least likely person that you haven't noticed, who's probably noticing you; but doesn't know how to tell you - the mystery woman you haven't really met yet, because you're missing her hints. <nudge, nudge>

M.

[Guest Username-Removed]

<div class='quotemain'>

Its possible, but doubtfull. Thats the problem with these forums - you guys werent there!! so perhaps this was a mistake to have brought this up.

We weren't there? You mean this date you mentioned? I'm not talking about the dates you've already had, I'm talking about the least likely person that you haven't noticed, who's probably noticing you; but doesn't know how to tell you - the mystery woman you haven't really met yet, because you're missing her hints. <nudge, nudge>

M.

Sorry M., Im not a mind reader and I dont play games. Hint, hint. Besides, Im from Mars remember?

[Maureen]

Sorry M., Im not a mind reader and I dont play games. Hint, hint. Besides, Im from Mars remember?

Word, I don't think that the subtle hinting that some women do are playing games; they just don't know how or are afraid to be direct. And this Venus vs Mars is just silliness. People are people, we all have the same hopes and wishes; everyone just has a different way of doing it. It won't hurt you to pay attention - if you can't do it now, you'll have a terrible time when you're married.

M.

[wiley]

<div class='quotemain'>

Sorry M., Im not a mind reader and I dont play games. Hint, hint. Besides, Im from Mars remember?

Word, I don't think that the subtle hinting that some women do are playing games; they just don't know how or are afraid to be direct. And this Venus vs Mars is just silliness. People are people, we all have the same hopes and wishes; everyone just has a different way of doing it. It won't hurt you to pay attention - if you can't do it now, you'll have a terrible time when you're married.

M.

Word!! (Referring to the "I agree" kind. Not to be confused with WordFLOOD, which I did at first )

[wiley]

I guess my point is that I dont see the spirituality of most people (man or woman) in church or anywhere else for that matter. I do see it occasionally, but not very often. Im sure there are different levels of spirituality. I'm looking for someone that when they feel the spirit, they act on it. I would prefer that they recognize it, no matter where they are (public place or not). I 'm looking for someone thats not afraid of being more spiritual than me - Because that will only make me learn how to be better. I want someone that when they enter the temple, they recognize the spirit, not the furniture. I want someone that's willing to risk being known as a spiritual person, and not be affraid of what people might say. I've dated 5 ladies in the last few years, and I am far from finding anything remotely close to what I am looking for. Further, I have many "guy" friends, and I have only a few that I can count in that realm.

After being married to somone that was very non-spiritual, and a member, I dont want to even waste a lot of time with someone that has a hard time understanding how Heavanly Father can answers prayers.

Let me give you an example. The night before we went out, I had a dream about her brother. That dream taught me a lot about him and his relationship to his sister (who I was dating). When I mentioned some of those attributes of her brother, she paused for probabaly 2 seconds, and then resumed talking about her career, traveling every week around the world, and finding a man to buy her a ranch in DC.

When I feel the spirit, I recognize it, and I say, "did you just feel that?" or something to that affect. If she cant feel it, how can it direct her life? If we have no direction, what's the point? Im NOT looking for someone that has self direction. Im looking for someone that is directed by the spirit.

I realize this may bother some folks. Im not at all in competition with others in a spirituality "Im better than you" at all. Just looking for somone that has similarities to mine. Im just not finding them. Perhaps Im looking in the wrong place.

Just so you all know, I've met some spiritual Giants in my day, and by no way did I ever think they were 'Holier than thou'. My bishop, my stake president, and my old hometeacher - Incredible people! And I learned alot from them.

To me, there is no substance in talking about careers, money, ranches, or whatever, unless its tied back to something spiritual.

As far as her feeling uncomfortable, what can I say. Some people feel uncomfortable going to church too. But everytime I talk with her, I seldom get a word in edgewise - on the phone, in person or in church.

I was wierd. We have a lot in common as far as disasters preparation. I have studied Mt St Helens, and have been through several earthquakes. Yet she didnt want to hear a word I said on the subject, just kept rambling on about what she knew. From all of that, I got that she wasnt actually that confident with what she knew. But yet, I see she's very proud.

I dont care where I live, I dont care how much I make as long as I have enough for my needs. And if I am blessed with extra, I will use the funds appropriatly. And I dont look at marriage as a way to get a new house or another income or to increase my social stature.

So, where are they??? If they are hiding, If so, why????

They are not hiding. I just wonder if your not seeing them. This person may not be the right one for you, but many of the women of the church are by far more in tune with the spirit than many of the men. I have not yet met a single guy whom I consider a spiritual giant that did not have his wife to thank for it.

The thing about following the promptings of the spirit is that it's not so cut and dry to everyone. That is not to say that they don't feel or recognize the spirit. But for many, including myself it is actually a bit of a challenge to understand promptings and act upon them. I'm sure you are aware of that, and I envy you that you are able to. Me, I had this huge issue while on my mission. I was trying to understand these promptings. We would walk by a door, I would think that I had a prompting (or at least wonder to myself, is this prompting or a random thought?) Well I won't tell you how many of those doors nobody answered. But for those like me, we trust on doing what is right and follow the commandments. That is where our direction comes from. My wife, who isn't particularly skilled at receiving spiritual promptings either, is nonetheless very obedient. Much more so than I ever was. She is my spiritual strength for that gift that she has.

And I say gift because that is what I believe it to be. Understanding those promptings is a talent, a skill that takes practice. Some are better at it than others. It is not my particular talent, but I do have other things that I am very good at. For me, I focus on those things about me to gain spiritual strength. As for my weaknesses, I have patience with myself (and that includes the weaknesses of my wife as well).

But be patient. Look for someone who is strong where you are weak. I think that those are the best relationships. The ones who keep each other moving forward in this crazy world.

[Guest Username-Removed]

<div class='quotemain'>

Sorry M., Im not a mind reader and I dont play games. Hint, hint. Besides, Im from Mars remember?

Word, I don't think that the subtle hinting that some women do are playing games; they just don't know how or are afraid to be direct. And this Venus vs Mars is just silliness. People are people, we all have the same hopes and wishes; everyone just has a different way of doing it. It won't hurt you to pay attention - if you can't do it now, you'll have a terrible time when you're married.

M.

Paying attention wasnt the problem, at least for the first two hours. After that, I did get tired of only listening. I find that incredibly ironic dont you? Conversation is indeed that - two way. Ive never believed in a one way conversation. Do you?

[Vanilla]

Let me start by saying this is in no way a slam to you or your post, just my personal feelings...

Maybe other people are just a little more private in the way that they "display" their spirituality. You were right when you said there are different levels of spirituality, but again, I would have been just as private 5 years ago when I was inactive (low level) as I am about it now (high level). Just because I choose not to discuss it with everyone certainly does not mean that I don't act on it when I feel the need to do so or that I don't recognize it. A few months ago I had one of the most personal spiritual confirmations I have ever experienced. I was completely overwhelmed by the feeling and could not control the flood of tears that poured down my face in a not so private place. Did I have a spiritual experience? Yes. Did I recognize it? Yes. Did I share it with all those around me? No. It isn't that I am worried about what people will say about me, but more because for me, spiritual experiences are private. I am not afraid to be more spiritual than anyone else...besides, who am I to judge someone to be more or less spiritual than myself?

You mentioned having a dream about her brother and her brushing it off. I would have felt very uncomfortable in that situation as well and probably would have done the same thing, re-directed you. Something else you said sent a red flag, (for me). You said, "But every time I talk with her, I seldom get a word in edgewise - on the phone, in person or in church." To me that indicates that she doesn't really care to hear what you have to say (which usually indicates someone is self centered)...and that doesn't have anything to do with her spirituality. You also said, " To me, there is no substance in talking about careers, money, ranches, or whatever, unless its tied back to something spiritual." I disagree with that statement. It is very important to know where one stands in regards to another's career and feelings of money. At least she was up front about it and you didn't have to waste a lot of time figuring out that she wasn't the one you were looking for! Please don't take that as a criticism, it's just my two cents.

By the way, I too have met some "Spiritual Giants" in my day, and it was BECAUSE they lacked the "holier than thou" attitude that I was able to feel of their spirit!

Keep looking...

[Guest Username-Removed]

Let me start by saying this is in no way a slam to you or your post, just my personal feelings...

Maybe other people are just a little more private in the way that they "display" their spirituality. You were right when you said there are different levels of spirituality, but again, I would have been just as private 5 years ago when I was inactive (low level) as I am about it now (high level). Just because I choose not to discuss it with everyone certainly does not mean that I don't act on it when I feel the need to do so or that I don't recognize it. A few months ago I had one of the most personal spiritual confirmations I have ever experienced. I was completely overwhelmed by the feeling and could not control the flood of tears that poured down my face in a not so private place. Did I have a spiritual experience? Yes. Did I recognize it? Yes. Did I share it with all those around me? No. It isn't that I am worried about what people will say about me, but more because for me, spiritual experiences are private. I am not afraid to be more spiritual than anyone else...besides, who am I to judge someone to be more or less spiritual than myself?

You mentioned having a dream about her brother and her brushing it off. I would have felt very uncomfortable in that situation as well and probably would have done the same thing, re-directed you. Something else you said sent a red flag, (for me). You said, "But every time I talk with her, I seldom get a word in edgewise - on the phone, in person or in church." To me that indicates that she doesn't really care to hear what you have to say (which usually indicates someone is self centered)...and that doesn't have anything to do with her spirituality. You also said, " To me, there is no substance in talking about careers, money, ranches, or whatever, unless its tied back to something spiritual." I disagree with that statement. It is very important to know where one stands in regards to another's career and feelings of money. At least she was up front about it and you didn't have to waste a lot of time figuring out that she wasn't the one you were looking for! Please don't take that as a criticism, it's just my two cents.

By the way, I too have met some "Spiritual Giants" in my day, and it was BECAUSE they lacked the "holier than thou" attitude that I was able to feel of their spirit!

Keep looking...

Actually I dont agree... sorry! You ABSOLUTELY have to judge the person you are dating. Otherwise, why date at all? My problem has been that I've found people that have not been spiritual, and thought that i could change them to something better. The problem is, thats a bad philosophy. WHile people can change, I cant expect them to. So, I have to look for whats important to me --- if you want to marry well, inquire well - I do believe that was in the last conference talk. was it not?