Is there any hope for me or women like me?

[Lakumi]

But I envy you.

I married at 26 too, have 2 kids, and doing nothing with my college degrees (okay, that's a positive thing because I chose my work so I can be with the kids). I would love to live with a relative so I can sell this upside-down house left-over from the housing market crash. You've got the good life!

I envy you, at 25 I've acomplished nothing

no school, no social junk, no home of my own

wrote a couple of sucky novels and own a lot of dolls

and my future don't look good

not the man I thought I'd become as a child

so there's always a brighter side to one's plight

[Guest]

You guys all talk like you're about to die. It's hardly too late for any of us to reinvent ourselves or our lives to be what we want them to be. I hope I'm doing that in some way every day.

[Backroads]

You guys all talk like you're about to die. It's hardly too late for any of us to reinvent ourselves or our lives to be what we want them to be. I hope I'm doing that in some way every day.

Well, this answers many a complaint in the thread! :)

Antoinette, yes, you can still meet people.

The rest of us including myself, let's enjoy what we have and working on solving our complaints.

[Quin]

Not offended!

It's just easy to fall into self defeating generalizations when we're upset, and then it's easy to start believing them and turn them into a self fulfilling prophecy.

I have a very specific "type" of guy that tends to ask me out.

It would be very easy for me to throw up my hands in the air and go "Aaaaargh! All men are TypeGuy!"

LOL.

They're not.

That's just who I attract.

When I want to date a different type... I either ask them out, or I change something about myself to attract a different type.

(Cases in point: Most of my invitations come from a sports league I belong to. But if I put on sky high heels and 3rd degree makeup, and dresses..., then I attract a different kind of guy than the ones who like me in converse sneakers and sweat. Ditto, if I work at a bookstore on my laptop I get a different kind of guy than if I camp in a cafe. -Or no guy, if I'm in my Pajamas in bed with my laptop- I'm still ME, regardless of what I'm wearing, and what I'm doing. But different things attract different people. Ahem. I also could try saying "yes" to people I would typically turn down. As the TypeGuy I tend to date is equally MY fault. As I have a habit of saying "yes" to that type, and "no" to other types. Granted, I like TypeGuy, but there are far far far more kinds of guys out there than my type. )

Also.

I have a housekeeper.

Maids are, IMHO, a C.O.D. Gift from God.

I got rid of her when I was married (never again!) and have come to the following belief:

Some people hire auto mechanics and electricians, as they're bad at that.

I hire a maid and an accountant, as I'm bad at that.

Same thing.

No difference.

Where I go, they go.

Budgetary line items in my life.

Q

[Bini]

An old family friend of ours (my parents') just got married at the end of last year. He was a 70-something widow and remarried a 60-something never married woman. I think they got sealed, as well.

[Crash]

WHOA!!! A real life Robertson redneck!

A real life frog huntin', duck huntin', fish catchin', campin', use a barrel drum as a smoker redneck!

I'd rather live on a farm than in the city.

Okay, okay... this has got to be said...

I have tons of cousins... and they need visas.

Won't work for Antoinette as she's not in America.

What exactly are you saying?

[beefche]

Hello girls, I'm a single woman, 30 years old and gave up the idea of a married life simply because I know no one!!!!

I mean, people are getting marry at the age og 22, 25 tops. So guys for me... I don't like to party so I never attend church activities involving those activities. I work full time and love to be at home... love to study etc

But I want a family...

Sad isn't it?

Any inspirational replies in here...

I got married late in life. By the time I was 30, I had left my YSA ward and moved into a family ward. I grieved at 35 knowing that the likelihood of me marrying and having a baby has just been reduced drastically. And when I turned 40, I knew that I would never have a baby in this life even if I were to get married. I had no marriage prospects. None. I live in an area that there aren't many single, worthy LDS men in mid-30's or older.

What I found to help me as I adjusted to the single in this church life, was several things.

1. Stay close to the Lord and the Gospel. There is no greater joy than living His commandments and obtaining all ordinances and blessings you can. I had faith that the Lord knew my heart, my desires, and my circumstances and that as long as I stayed close to Him I would receive what I needed.

2. Let yourself grieve. It's ok to feel disappointment and confusion and sadness. Don't stay in this for very long and do not allow it to cloud your vision of your own worth and the worth of others. Not all men are bad, most are just flawed, imperfect men who are trying their best to do right. So, having a man bashing attitude is not healthy at all.

3. Serve others. Lose your own troubles as you help others. Honestly, being single in this church is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It just isn't.

4. Learn to love your life. Do the things to improve yourself. Do things that are fun and adventurous.

5. Have a positive, uplifting attitude. Trust me, no one wants to be around someone who is always sad, always depressed, always seeing the bad in life. You have to be happy with yourself if you want others to want to be with you. And trust me on this one, not everything is about you. Those talks at church or those people whispering in the corner? Probably not aimed at you. Way, way too often, single people feel singled out and think that a talk at church/conference or people not saying hi means they are being targeted. Just make yourself assume the best in others. Learn from what you can and remember to stay

6. Don't rule out marriage. It can happen. I can't promise it will, but I can promise that hope is a gospel principle. You need to do something, though, to meet people. If you choose to not go to actual SA activities, then get online and do online dating. I would encourage you, though, to go to at least some activities. It's better to build relationships in person rather than online. You don't have to go to all the dances, but make yourself go to one a year. There's always more than dancing that happens at them. People enjoy talking too. If you are shy, then work on your people skills. Learn to chat, make yourself say hello to one new person a day, etc.

Even if you never marry in this life, you can be happy single in the Church. I know because I did it. My life was improved once I married, but I was happy as a single, childless woman in the church.