singlemamad Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have been speaking with the online missionaries and so far they are great and have given me some links to some awesome videos and have been very good at answering questions and making me see that there is an AMAZING Heavenly Father out there.....however,I was stupid. I am a domestic abuse survivor, and I fell for him telling me that after three years he is now alcohol free and has changed. He has shown me that the past three days on the phone. I feel like a failure, I was supposed to be moving to where he lives (Michigan to Iowa) on the 21st, put in my thirty days for my apartment, changed addresses with friend of the court, and my children even think we are moving. I just can't do it because I know we wouldn't be safe and would be far away from safety if we did need it. Right now things aren't so great either. I can only find a part time job, I lost my car because I couldn't afford it, my sons ADHD and behavior is out of control, family support is limited and I have to get them out of this tiny two bedroom apartment (many reasons, financial, drug addicts next door, just not a great thing AT ALL for my children) luckily my dad is letting us go to his home until we get that straight.OK, now that you know that......should I make the missionaries aware of this situation? I told him I was going through some rough times, but I don't think he knows the extent. He gave me a link to a video about a fork in the road....but this feels a little bigger than that.....I feel like I am failing my children, and not only is my faith slipping, but so is the love for myself. I honestly have no idea how me and my kids are going to make it. He sends me links about happy things.....but right now I just feel like sitting and crying......I just wonder if I should let these poor guys know what their dealing with......Any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Ask the Missionaries! They Can Help You! - general-conferenceWhat's the worst that can happen by telling them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singlemamad Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 A couple of things come to mind, which is why I had to ask I guess. First, they are young boys, I don't want to burden them with these problems and I know they aren't counselors, I actually called the woman's resource center today just waiting on a call back to begin counseling. But at the same time, I know this is really testing my faith.....very very much so, that's why I was wondering if they should be made aware. I am also ashamed I let all of this happen and I know humility shouldn't get in the way, but for some reason it is......these poor missionaries lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Keep in mind these are generally young men or women with not a whole heck of life experience and what training they've received concerning difficulties people have is focused on helping people rely on God to overcome difficulties or challenges or in reporting things to local ward leadership so they can provide assistance in some form. If something is influencing your progression in the gospel they need to know on some level, but keep the above in mind in regards to how you are expecting them to react. Edited February 4, 2014 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singlemamad Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 That's exactly what I mean! I'm sure (well, at least I hope!) These boys have no experience with these issues, so I'm sure they have no idea on how to respond or react. The only thing that worries me about this whole mess when it comes to the missionaries is......this is just really playing with my faith....I feel lost with everything. I felt like things are going great and then wham something happens.....but I really don't want to burden them with issues they probably have no idea about lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 That's exactly what I mean! I'm sure (well, at least I hope!) These boys have no experience with these issues, so I'm sure they have no idea on how to respond or react.As it pertains to helping you strengthen your faith they know how to react. The only thing that worries me about this whole mess when it comes to the missionaries is......this is just really playing with my faith....I feel lost with everything. I felt like things are going great and then wham something happens.....but I really don't want to burden them with issues they probably have no idea about lolThey have experience with helping people strengthen their faith. This is kinda what I was trying to get at with my earlier post (but it probably wasn't clear). As it pertains to your faith, they're qualified and able to help. Where it concerns the situation itself, not so much and they'll probably turn to those in the local ward leadership where that is concerned.To reiterate: Concerning the spiritual situation they're qualified. Concerning the temporal and possibly physiological (such as clinical depression) they aren't, but they know people to turn to who are better suited to helping with those aspects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singlemamad Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I understand what you're saying, and thank you. I known it probably was a silly question but he popped up on Facebook asking if another member of the church could join us on Thursday, and then asked how I was.....I was honest and said "right now.....not so good" I didn't delve into detail because these are young men and not certified domestic abuse counselors lol......so it just brought me to wondering what SHOULD they know when it comes to trials and such with an investigator, because I can tell u its things like this that really test the faith....thank you again for ur help and answers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 As you said, they are not counselors, I would probably give them a general idea that there has been abuse problems in the past with your husband/boyfriend, and you will be moving in with your Dad. That due to that you are struggling with your faith right now.More than the above really isn't needed as far as their teaching you about the LDS.I would add that you need to keep in mind that you are a Child of God and worthy of His attention and His help and also of respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Besides consulting with the missionaries, it might be useful to seek out professional counselors who are faith-sensitive. I know there are "Christian counselors," who combine their professional knowledge with their Christian worldview. There must be LDS ones who do the same. It would likely be comforting to know that those guiding your to emotional and spiritual recovery and healing are both competent and spiritually committed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiVi Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 As a convert who had missionary discussions for months, I think telling the missionaries about any problem you're having is a good idea. Honestly, the missionaries are young, but they have God on their side. Every single time I had an issue, I would convince myself that they shouldn't know or didn't need to know, be bothered by it, then let it slip to them. And every single time, the answers and help they provided made me wish I would have had the bravery to talk to them sooner. It isn't because they had all the life experience to help me with infinite wisdom; it was because they were in touch with the Holy Spirit and ready to do God's work. I think they can help you a lot. I go to them for help with big problems even now (after, of course, foolishly deliberating for too long), and I am never disappointed in what they have to offer. pam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apexpredator Posted June 19, 2014 Report Share Posted June 19, 2014 As a recently returned missionary I can tell you first hand that missionaries usually don't want to listen about every detail. We care about those we work with and want to know enough to help, but we don't need to know the full story. Some things are between the individual and someone else. Missionaries are there to help you get closer to Jesus Christ, not to be a psychologist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayhale Posted June 22, 2014 Report Share Posted June 22, 2014 Adding to what others have said, I need to point out that missionaries are not clergy in the LDS church, which means, if you say something that is against the law, then legally they have to tell the proper authorities. There is no Priest/Preacher type of confidentiality you would have with even a Bishop, so I would suggest you ask the missionaries which sins/actions you would have to have committed to be brought to the Mission President, if you have done anything on the list, just inform them that you need to see the Mission President. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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