Hurt Feelings

[Hopeful1]

This morning I was hurt deeply by comments directed at me personally at another message board I frequent. How I dealt with my hurt feelings was to go to the Gospel Library at lds.org and download several articles on hurt feelings and forgiveness. Reading those articles has helped me so much.

How do you overcome hurt feelings?

[pam]

This morning I was hurt deeply by comments directed at me personally at another message board I frequent. How I dealt with my hurt feelings was to go to the Gospel Library at lds.org and download several articles on hurt feelings and forgiveness. Reading those articles has helped me so much.

How do you overcome hurt feelings?

Time

[pushka]

Hopeful1, I'm sorry to hear that your feelings were hurt, and am happy to read that you found a solution via the Gospel Library.

Unfortunately, I'm not very good when my feelings are hurt, I tend to speak to a close friend, who I'm pretty certain will agree with the way I feel...very biased, lol. That friend normally has a way of listening to me, and advising me, so that I gradually do feel better. One friend in particular tho, is very good at making me see sense in that sometimes I feel hurt when I've misunderstood the nature of the comments made to me...which is very useful ammo. for the next time I feel hurt..I can try to reason whether or not a hurtful comment has really been made.

Good Luck in feeling better, btw. :)

[CrimsonKairos]

I use one method to dilute frustration and insults, and the method works well. I'll call it the "They May Be Martyrs Method."

People usually get angry when they hurt. A major response to pain is anger. Whenever someone does or says something mean or rude or cruel, I ask myself: "What pain could they be dealing with that would lead them to say this or act like this?"

Case-in-point: I used to work at a warehouse. One day I was joking with a co-worker when he snapped and jumped in my face and shoved me in the chest, cussing me out and yelling at me and threatening me. I could have snapped back since I had done nothing to provoke him. However, I knew that "there's always a reason" people do things out of character. So I let it go even though a few co-workers urged me to report it and get him fired (he wasn't the best employee).

He didn't speak to me for a few days. Later, he apologized for being a jerk and said that doctors had found pre-cancerous cells in his body and that he was stressed and had overreacted.

Now there are people who are just mean (though their upbringing may have had something to do with forming who they are), but in my experience when people say or do things out of character, it's usually because they're struggling with personal pain of some kind.

And keeping that in mind, I tend to be pretty forgiving and patient when someone snaps at me or says something stupid or thoughtless.

But even I forget the martyr method sometimes and react without thinking.

[Gabelma]

This morning I was hurt deeply by comments directed at me personally at another message board I frequent. How I dealt with my hurt feelings was to go to the Gospel Library at lds.org and download several articles on hurt feelings and forgiveness. Reading those articles has helped me so much.

How do you overcome hurt feelings?

I keep in mind the quote from Brigham Young (well actually not sure if its Apochypal (sp??)) A man who takes offence when non is intended is a fool and the man that takes offence when offence is intended is usually a fool - helps me in most situations

Charley

[john doe]

I go on the offensive, so don't p!$$ me off!!!!

Or I blow it off knowing the other person is the one with the problem, not me. If someone is a jerk to you, they probably are a jerk to others as well.

[pam]

I go on the offensive, so don't p!$$ me off!!!!

Or I blow it off knowing the other person is the one with the problem, not me. If someone is a jerk to you, they probably are a jerk to others as well.

That's why I don't talk to you anymore. Just kidding bro-in-law.

[a-train]

I have no feelings, that is actually a bigger problem than having them I think.

-a-train

[john doe]

<div class='quotemain'>

I go on the offensive, so don't p!$$ me off!!!!

Or I blow it off knowing the other person is the one with the problem, not me. If someone is a jerk to you, they probably are a jerk to others as well.

That's why I don't talk to you anymore. Just kidding bro-in-law.

Oh, I'm sure it's just ONE of the reasons!!!

[Annabelli]

I have mentioned and questioned rude behavior in the Church. Some of them think it is "fun." They like to see people's reactions. Example: They see someone entering the Church who is uplifted and enjoying the Spirit of the Day. They walk up to that person and say "you're worthless."

These are the same type of people who like to see someone "B R E A K D O W N" and cry and they get off on other peoples miseries and funerals.

When someone says bad things to you that are hurtful, it's always a lie!

[BenRaines]

I am older than most here and have been a member of the church since I was 16. I have never seen the type of behavior that Annabelli describes. You would think I would since I have taken it upon myself to great almost every person that comes in the door and if there was someone who is always uplifted and positive it would be me at church.

Hmm it must be a different part of the world than I live in.

Ben Raines

[StosRob]

I would let the person know he/she has hurt my feelings. Sometimes people don't even realize they have done it. It does help to talk to the person about it.

Also, when it comes to message boards, unless you happen to know this person, I would remember that people are pretty bold and say things they usually wouldn't say it they were talking to someone face to face.