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What should I do in this situation?

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I'm getting ready for a mission, but I haven't sent my papers yet.

So, I just recently started dating a girl, we went out a few times and last couple of times it became pretty intense, with making out and heavy petting (clothes on).

I feel pretty bad and I need to talk to my bishop about it, right? I live in a foreign country, so I don't  speak the language that well, to be able to explain the situation as it is, and because of that, I'm kind of scared to do so. Also, I'm a new member, so I haven't spoken with someone about such things before.

 

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Yes, please see your bishop.  Don't worry about the language barrier or anything like that.  Spiritual discussions tend to overcome language barriers.  Be of humble heart and contrite spirit and you'll have a good visit with the bishop.

 

I don't really know your situation with this girl, but my advice as a stranger on the internet is to break it off and concentrate on preparing for your mission.  You don't want any distractions right now that could derail you from your priesthood duty.

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Yes, please talk to your Bishop. I wonder if the technology available is appropriate for such matters. Smart phone apps have some good translating technology behind them. You could even prepare and print out what you want to say before hand in the native language, just to make sure the Bishop understands completely why you are there and what has transpired. 

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I agree with the others.  Congrats on your desire to serve a mission.  I've been on a mission and it is a wonderful experience.  You will love it.  First, though you need to talk to your Bishop, and...from now on double or group dates only!  Don't be alone with a girl anymore.  

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Thanks for the answers I really appreciate it. Do you think it might delay my mission?

 

Only your bishop would know the answer to this question.  See him soon.  ;)

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Thanks for the answers I really appreciate it. Do you think it might delay my mission?

It may or may not. But I can tell you that either way that it will feel right if you do get delayed, and worth it. Don't carry it.

 

Is the girl a member also?

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It may or may not. But I can tell you that either way that it will feel right if you do get delayed, and worth it. Don't carry it.

 

Is the girl a member also?

 

She's not a member. I'm the only member among my friends and my family. 

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My advice is to never be alone with her again.  Those human desires are powerful for a reason, and they must be banked and controlled except for God's prescribed use.  If you see her again, choose not to be alone with her or with others who do not share your standards.   And remember that  any woman is someone's precious daughter who deserves better than to be treated like that outside of marriage.  

 

Seeing your bishop will help you set up some parameters.  He's going to tell you to read your scriptures daily, to pray often, to go to bed early and get up early, to work hard (both to save money for your mission and because when you're working it can be easier to resist temptations.

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We did it again, I can't believe myself. I'm totally going to see the bishop this Sunday, and I probably need to brake up with the girl, I feel it would be better.

I'm really grateful for your advices.

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We did it again, I can't believe myself. I'm totally going to see the bishop this Sunday, and I probably need to brake up with the girl, I feel it would be better.

I'm really grateful for your advices.

 

Yes, please see the bishop - set up the appointment right now.

 

In the meantime, it would help you if you think of HER welfare when you are together.  Everytime you do unchaste things, not only are you getting yourself in troubled waters, you are also instrumental in bringing her spirit farther from the light.  You are instrumental in bringing her trouble.  I expect you care about this girl for you to date her.  Doing unchaste things because it feels good to you even if you know it will bring spiritual and possibly even physical trouble for her is the exact opposite of caring.

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So I went to see the bishop. It didn't help, to be honest, I feel even more confused right now, it's probably because of the language barrier. As I understood, that as long as we didn't have sex I don't have to confess it to a priesthood leader and I can handle it myself. is that right?

 

And also, it kind of freaked me out (as I understood what he was saying, it still might be the language barrier) - he thinks that touching the "sacred parts" might be considered as a sexual relationship and could be violation of the law the chastity.

 

What would you advice me to do? 

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Touching the sacred parts IS a violation of the Law of Chastity and thus the reason we counseled you to talk to your Bishop.

I think you should tell your Bishop that the language barrier is an issue and see what he suggests

And don't be alone with the girl anymore.

Don't be alone with her. Okay. Don't lie to yourself and tell yourself you can handle it. Handling it means not being alone with her again.

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:)

 

I just think it's funny to refer to...um...the......"parts".....as "sacred" parts.

 

Please ignore me.

"do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing."

This is quote from "for the strengs of youth". they use it in this way, so I used as well :D

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I'm fairly certain the Bishop, under his power of discernment, discerned that your faith is strong enough to get you out of this jam that you are in without the need for disciplinary action.  This is good.  And your decision to break up with the girl shows that the Bishop was correct in his assessment.

 

Your next step is to keep praying and reject temptations that could derail your mission in the same manner that Jesus rejected the temptation of Satan as Jesus prepared for his atoning mission in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.  Stay in close contact with your Bishop to give you strength as the time of your mission comes closer.

 

Good luck and God bless.

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Don't worry about it.  By the time you get back in two years, she will have found somebody else.

 

And so will you.  You'll find someone whom you can take to the temple.

Edited by cdowis

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