Starting a family early vs Deciding your family is complete

[Bini]

On another thread came a tangent about not delaying beginning our families. Yet I've seen plenty of instances where a couple happily follows the counsel to not delay, has two kids or four kids or what have you, and decides the family is complete and no more kids to come.

 

We are counseled to not delaying having kids, yet there is no counsel I'm aware of regarding deciding when to complete one's family.

 

For sake of discussion, why?

 

Can't speak on Mormon counsel but I agree completely that the decision to plan for a family, start a family, and decide when one's family is complete is the business of the couple - period! Personally, I think a whole lot more "planning" should be involved before starting on making babies, but that's my opinion. My husband and I decided long ago, even when I was LDS, that we would only have as many children as we felt we were able to nurture and care for - that includes not just having enough time for the child but be financially stable, as well. We have two children, a girl and a boy, and we are DONE.

[mordorbund]

On the one hand we're told that if we see a family that has no kids or few kids, then we shouldn't be judging them in spite of the "be fruitful and multiply" commandment 1) because it's their business and 2) They may have a really good reason (like physically unable to do so) and that is an area that you really don't want to stick your nose into.

 

On the other hand, I'm reminded of how Joseph Smith prophesied that there would come a day when only LDS women would be willing to have children.  Throughout my life, people have told me that this could never happen because Catholics (and today Muslims and Hindus) will always have lots of kids.

 

I've seen the rate drop among Catholics to below replacement rate.  LDS are still strong.  I expect to see the rate go down among both Muslims and Hindus, especially in the US.  For some reason, the US is just really down on having large families.  

 

Muslims elsewhere have big families.  In the US they have big families for one generation.  Then in two or three generations, they may have none.  

 

A more stark trend is among Hindus.  The first generation US Hindus only have two or three kids.  Second generation one or two, ...maybe.

 

I wonder if Joseph's prophecy only referred to US population. -- I haven't read the reference myself.  Truman Madsen referred to the prophecy in his Joseph Smith lecture series.  Does anyone actually have that reference?

 

For those who like numbers:

 

[Vort]

Does this mean the average number born to each adult, or the average born to a pair of adults? I assume the latter.

[Backroads]

I have 1.4 kids to go.

[mordorbund]

Does this mean the average number born to each adult, or the average born to a pair of adults? I assume the latter.

 

Each adult surveyed. Which means mom from couple 1 would answer '11' and mom from couple 1 would give the same answer. Average it out and see how many each adult has. (although I'm sure for the sake of distribution they avoided polling multiple members of the same household).

 

* Take a look at that footnote, apparently women have more kids than men :)

Edited January 14, 2016 by mordorbund

[Vort]

Each adult surveyed. Which means mom from couple 1 would answer '11' and mom from couple 1 would give the same answer. Average it out and see how many each adult has. (although I'm sure for the sake of distribution they avoided polling multiple members of the same household).

 

* Take a look at that footnote, apparently women have more kids than men :)

 

With the overwhelming rise in single motherhood, I would think this would greatly inflate the actual fertility rate. I assume they control for such things.

[Guest]

It says children currently at home for adults in that age group. I'd be interested to see total children.

[Guest]

Never mind... read the chart wrong.

Edited January 14, 2016 by Eowyn

[Guest]

On the one hand we're told that if we see a family that has no kids or few kids, then we shouldn't be judging them in spite of the "be fruitful and multiply" commandment 1) because it's their business and 2) They may have a really good reason (like physically unable to do so) and that is an area that you really don't want to stick your nose into.

On the other hand, I'm reminded of how Joseph Smith prophesied that there would come a day when only LDS women would be willing to have children. Throughout my life, people have told me that this could never happen because Catholics (and today Muslims and Hindus) will always have lots of kids.

I've seen the rate drop among Catholics to below replacement rate. LDS are still strong. I expect to see the rate go down among both Muslims and Hindus, especially in the US. For some reason, the US is just really down on having large families.

Muslims elsewhere have big families. In the US they have big families for one generation. Then in two or three generations, they may have none.

A more stark trend is among Hindus. The first generation US Hindus only have two or three kids. Second generation one or two, ...maybe.

I wonder if Joseph's prophecy only referred to US population. -- I haven't read the reference myself. Truman Madsen referred to the prophecy in his Joseph Smith lecture series. Does anyone actually have that reference?

[Guest]

 

 

"Help me think of a good line so someone will add me to their cool signature!" -beefche

I like the change to your sig.