how do you help someone who is hurting because of a trial

[summer]

What do you say to someone who is angry at Heavenly Father for a trial that they are going through? They feel that we are taught that Heavenly Father allows us to go through trials for our own good and benefit...but this trial is so painful and they feel that a God who loved them would never allow them to go through this. They feel like "why does god allow bad things to happen to good people"? And because of this trial they have left the church and no longer  believe in God. How can you help them? What can I say?

[Jane_Doe]

Since you are the friend, you can stand by them and listen to THEM talk, and be an example until they are ready to listen (you can't force listening).   Once they are ready to listen to you, you need to listen to the Spirit to what your friend needs to hear.

[NeedleinA]

37 minutes ago, summer said:

What do you say to someone who is angry at Heavenly Father for a trial that they are going through? They feel that we are taught that Heavenly Father allows us to go through trials for our own good and benefit...but this trial is so painful and they feel that a God who loved them would never allow them to go through this. They feel like "why does god allow bad things to happen to good people"? And because of this trial they have left the church and no longer  believe in God. How can you help them? What can I say?

I have a brother in similar shoes as your friend.

Two people both experience the same kind of life changing horror, pain, trial, stress, trauma or major disappointment.
Why does the first person pray harder, try harder, become more spiritually focused, strengthen in their testimony, draw closer to God and thank him for their blessings?
In contrast, why does the second person give up on prayer, become discouraged, withdraw from God and begin to disbelieve?

Great question. Is my brother or your friend greater than the Savior that he should be able to pass through this life without hard trials?
D&C 121:8 - 8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

Are we willing to bear trials, but just as long as they don't actually "try" us?

I don't have a great answer for your friend or my brother other than they need the Atonement. The Atonement that heals hearts, lift burdens, lightens our loads, consuls our Spirits.  Anger is sometimes a defense mechanism against pain. Despite our best efforts, that is what they have latched onto to fight off the pain for now. Pray and ask Heavenly Father what you can say, he will know the best answer.

Death, suffering, imprisonment, loss, heartbreak... why do we think we get a free pass, when other faithful saints didn't?

 

Edited September 27, 2016 by NeedleinA

[summer]

Thank you both very much, these thoughts will help me a lot in helping her. Those pictures sure are powerful!

[anatess2]

In times like these, I lean on Nick Vujicic.

 

 

[summer]

Thank you so much for sharing anatess2, he is amazing!!