Sealing

[Champion]

I am a convert of about two years my wife was raised in the church. We are married civilly and she is still sealed to her ex. This literally is driving me crazy. I love her with all I have to give her. We both felt that Heavenly Father brought us together. After I was baptized she said we could get sealed a year later. Well that has come and gone. I know a sealing can be cancelled but she hasn't yet. I want to spend eternity with her in the celestial kingdom, but I am beginning to question that now. If she doesn't want to cancel her sealing what should I do?  Any advice greatly appreciated 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

What does she say about it?  I can't imagine why she would still want to be sealed to her ex, when she's remarried.  That's an important piece of this puzzle. 

[NeedleinA]

15 hours ago, Champion said:

If she doesn't want to cancel her sealing what should I do?

39 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said:

What does she say about it?  I can't imagine why she would still want to be sealed to her ex, when she's remarried.  That's an important piece of this puzzle. 

I agree with LP, what does she say? What does she say about it? "IF" sounds like you might not be too sure what she is thinking right now?

 

[Latter-Day Marriage]

Even though they are divorced, they have a history together and canceling the sealing is something that can easily be seen as an unkind act towards her ex.  As a divorced man he can't get sealed to another woman so easily, he needs to get approval from the First Presidency.  If he is not active in the church or his behavior in the marriage wasn't so good he won't get that and she may see this as blocking his exaltation, or she may fear his reaction or just be too nice to easily do something like that to somebody even when they deserve it.  Give her time, love her, don't take it as a reflection on her feelings for you, and trust that it will all work out in the end.

[NightSG]

11 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

If he is not active in the church or his behavior in the marriage wasn't so good he won't get that and she may see this as blocking his exaltation,

Even though that's pretty much exactly what she's doing to the OP?

Edit: actually worse for the OP, since the ex is free to go find someone else to be sealed to, while the current husband's ability to be sealed at all is now entirely dependent on her.

Edited February 9, 2017 by NightSG

[Latter-Day Marriage]

2 hours ago, NightSG said:

Even though that's pretty much exactly what she's doing to the OP?

Edit: actually worse for the OP, since the ex is free to go find someone else to be sealed to, while the current husband's ability to be sealed at all is now entirely dependent on her.

For some people, yes.  Actively doing something against somebody can be harder for them than passively doing something against somebody.

[Jane_Doe]

On 2/5/2017 at 8:40 PM, Champion said:

I am a convert of about two years my wife was raised in the church. We are married civilly and she is still sealed to her ex. This literally is driving me crazy. I love her with all I have to give her. We both felt that Heavenly Father brought us together. After I was baptized she said we could get sealed a year later. Well that has come and gone. I know a sealing can be cancelled but she hasn't yet. I want to spend eternity with her in the celestial kingdom, but I am beginning to question that now. If she doesn't want to cancel her sealing what should I do?  Any advice greatly appreciated 

The highest gift God has given us is our ability to choose.  If she chooses to be with you, and you are worthy of it, then it shall be. If you would like to go to the temple and be sealed with her (a fantastic goal) then talk with her and start that road.  

Typically a old sealing is canceled specifically to make way for a new one.  They aren't usually canceled just to have nothing.  

 

 

[NightSG]

1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:

Typically a old sealing is canceled specifically to make way for a new one.  They aren't usually canceled just to have nothing.  

He did mention that it's been more than a year, and he's been a member for more than two years.

"After I was baptized she said we could get sealed a year later. Well that has come and gone."

Sounds like she was the one who initially dangled that carrot in front of him, and then took no further action.  It's not exactly a "send in your paperwork and have it done in a week or two" thing, either, but something she should have been talking to her bishop about pretty much from the time of the marriage.

[Latter-Day Marriage]

My mother in law passed away and when my father in law remarried it only took a few weeks for her to have her previous sealing canceled, and then there are other cases where it takes a long time or gets denied.

 

[Guest]

20 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Even though they are divorced, they have a history together and canceling the sealing is something that can easily be seen as an unkind act towards her ex.  As a divorced man he can't get sealed to another woman so easily, he needs to get approval from the First Presidency.  If he is not active in the church or his behavior in the marriage wasn't so good he won't get that and she may see this as blocking his exaltation, or she may fear his reaction or just be too nice to easily do something like that to somebody even when they deserve it.  Give her time, love her, don't take it as a reflection on her feelings for you, and trust that it will all work out in the end.

I did not know this!  So, if I blow it with my current wife, it could be game over for me as I may not be able to get sealed again?

Well, I am off to do the dishes quick, before my wife kicks me out... eternally!

Edited February 10, 2017 by DoctorLemon

[Latter-Day Marriage]

3 hours ago, DoctorLemon said:

I did not know this!  So, if I blow it with my current wife, it could be game over for me as I may not be able to get sealed again?

Well, I am off to do the dishes quick, before my wife kicks me out... eternally!

I'm not sure how they evaluate requests for clearance to be sealed to another woman, I would guess that if the divorce was due to infidelity or abuse on his part that would not work in his favor.  However no matter what the reason for the divorce, and even after the ex-wife is dead, a divorced man needs clearance from the first presidency before he can be sealed to another woman.

[NightSG]

Of course, the standard question also applies; have you talked to your bishop about this?

[mdfxdb]

On 2/8/2017 at 9:14 PM, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Even though they are divorced, they have a history together and canceling the sealing is something that can easily be seen as an unkind act towards her ex.  As a divorced man he can't get sealed to another woman so easily, he needs to get approval from the First Presidency.  If he is not active in the church or his behavior in the marriage wasn't so good he won't get that and she may see this as blocking his exaltation, or she may fear his reaction or just be too nice to easily do something like that to somebody even when they deserve it.  Give her time, love her, don't take it as a reflection on her feelings for you, and trust that it will all work out in the end.

As someone who is sealed to two women, I can speak with some authority.

If she said she wants to be sealed to you, then she must cancel the sealing with her ex.  Talk to her about this.

The process is relatively simple if all parties play nice.

Yes, his (the ex) sealing will be cancelled.  That is his problem.  Not hers.  

Typically sealing only get cancelled in contemplation of the next sealing (if you are a woman).